Pool Time
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Eve...maybe I'll still be awake at midnight
I tried a new swaddling technique last night. Instead of the Miracle Blanket, I used a Halo SleepSack, which we inherited from a friend. It was fleece, which probably was a little warm for Brendan since he had footed jammies on, and it was the newborn size, which was short enough in length that his feet pressed against the bottom of the sack. He definitely wasn't happy when I put him in it, and he woke up crying at 2:15 (usually he wakes up gradually with a lot of squirming and squeaking, which I hear over the monitor). Usually I catch him before he actually starts crying, to prevent him from waking my husband. Not this time; he was pretty unhappy. However, after he went back to sleep following that feeding, he slept until almost 8:30. Five whole hours. He did start squirming at about 7:30, and I did hear him. But I left him alone to see if he'd go back to sleep. He did, which is great (although I lay there for the hour, listening for any sounds that I needed to respond to). I know I need to let him self-soothe, but it's hard. I need to start small, like I did this morning. Maybe eventually he'll sleep through the night...
Monday, December 27, 2010
You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger
Pretty much every night I thank God for His gift to us: the swaddling blanket.
Swaddling is a practice that has been used for thousands of years by pretty much every culture on the planet. Babies are wrapped in fabric or blankets, securing their arms and legs and making them into a cute little loaf. Some cultures secure babies to boards or baskets as well, making them exceptionally portable (take that, car seat!).
In the 18th century, swaddling started falling out of favor in western Europe. Apparently, it was associated with neglect, thanks to wet nurses who would leave children swaddled all day long (which meant they didn't clean them, change them, or have to worry about them crawling around on the floor). In the US, since we value our freedom so much, swaddling lost favor because it meant parents were restricting their children's movements when they had just escaped the oppression of the confining womb. Or something like that. People argued that children would be behind in their physical development because they hadn't had the chance to work on their coordination and strength since they were all wrapped up.
But in the last 20 years or so there has been a resurgence in western cultures with swaddling. Studies have shown that it helps keep young babies asleep longer, since they don't startle themselves awake with sudden reflex movements. Also, it seems to help reduce the occurrence of SIDS, because babies who sleep better on their backs when swaddled don't get placed on their stomachs and so don't end up rebreathing their exhalations with their faces pressed into the bedding. And studies are showing that the resistance swaddling affords to a child actually helps develop muscle strength.
Swaddling certainly has helped Brendan. The nurses swaddled him in receiving blankets at the hospital, and we continued that practice at home. However, blankets offer a bit of a challenge--if you do it wrong, the baby can get loose, which defeats the purpose, and of course the baby will eventually outgrow a blanket and need a bigger one. We received a gift after a few weeks of a Miracle Blanket from a family friend. This blanket is a contraption with a bunch of flaps and a pouch. Two small flaps hold the baby's arms down by his sides, the legs go in the pouch, and the two big flaps wrap around the baby several times. If you use the Miracle Blanket correctly the baby cannot get his arms loose and won't throw them up over his head (the "falling reflex", which tends to startle the baby awake) or rub them into his eyes. This blanket has been so great, we bought another one, so we'd have a back-up when the first one went into the wash.
However, the Miracle Blanket does have a drawback we've discovered: Brendan has figured out that he can "climb" his feet up the inside front of the pouch. Sometimes he can get a whole leg out; other times he gets his knee out and then gets stuck. Regardless, it bothers him enough to wake him up. Also, he's getting taller every day, and so we have to keep moving the blanket down farther and farther, with more and more of his chest and shoulders sticking out of the top of the blanket. Eventually he's going to be able to get his arms loose. So I'm starting to wonder how much longer to keep swaddling him, and how to wean him off of it. I've read in a few places that 4 months or so is about the right age. Brendan is only two months now. Also, they say to start out with an arm out while the other is swaddled. Not sure how to do that one with the Miracle Blanket. Be I'll have to start figuring it out, because I definitely think the time is coming...
Swaddling is a practice that has been used for thousands of years by pretty much every culture on the planet. Babies are wrapped in fabric or blankets, securing their arms and legs and making them into a cute little loaf. Some cultures secure babies to boards or baskets as well, making them exceptionally portable (take that, car seat!).
In the 18th century, swaddling started falling out of favor in western Europe. Apparently, it was associated with neglect, thanks to wet nurses who would leave children swaddled all day long (which meant they didn't clean them, change them, or have to worry about them crawling around on the floor). In the US, since we value our freedom so much, swaddling lost favor because it meant parents were restricting their children's movements when they had just escaped the oppression of the confining womb. Or something like that. People argued that children would be behind in their physical development because they hadn't had the chance to work on their coordination and strength since they were all wrapped up.
But in the last 20 years or so there has been a resurgence in western cultures with swaddling. Studies have shown that it helps keep young babies asleep longer, since they don't startle themselves awake with sudden reflex movements. Also, it seems to help reduce the occurrence of SIDS, because babies who sleep better on their backs when swaddled don't get placed on their stomachs and so don't end up rebreathing their exhalations with their faces pressed into the bedding. And studies are showing that the resistance swaddling affords to a child actually helps develop muscle strength.
Swaddling certainly has helped Brendan. The nurses swaddled him in receiving blankets at the hospital, and we continued that practice at home. However, blankets offer a bit of a challenge--if you do it wrong, the baby can get loose, which defeats the purpose, and of course the baby will eventually outgrow a blanket and need a bigger one. We received a gift after a few weeks of a Miracle Blanket from a family friend. This blanket is a contraption with a bunch of flaps and a pouch. Two small flaps hold the baby's arms down by his sides, the legs go in the pouch, and the two big flaps wrap around the baby several times. If you use the Miracle Blanket correctly the baby cannot get his arms loose and won't throw them up over his head (the "falling reflex", which tends to startle the baby awake) or rub them into his eyes. This blanket has been so great, we bought another one, so we'd have a back-up when the first one went into the wash.
However, the Miracle Blanket does have a drawback we've discovered: Brendan has figured out that he can "climb" his feet up the inside front of the pouch. Sometimes he can get a whole leg out; other times he gets his knee out and then gets stuck. Regardless, it bothers him enough to wake him up. Also, he's getting taller every day, and so we have to keep moving the blanket down farther and farther, with more and more of his chest and shoulders sticking out of the top of the blanket. Eventually he's going to be able to get his arms loose. So I'm starting to wonder how much longer to keep swaddling him, and how to wean him off of it. I've read in a few places that 4 months or so is about the right age. Brendan is only two months now. Also, they say to start out with an arm out while the other is swaddled. Not sure how to do that one with the Miracle Blanket. Be I'll have to start figuring it out, because I definitely think the time is coming...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Hello, again, hello
OK, so it's been a little while since my last post. I had this naive idea that I would be posting regularly about my experiences as a new parent, but I've discovered that I'm too busy being a new parent to blog about it much!
Brendan is a pretty good baby. He's 8 1/2 weeks old now, almost 12 lbs and 23.5 inches long (up from 8 lbs and 22 inches at birth). While he doesn't sleep straight through the night yet, he usually wakes up just once, for about an hour and a half, generally around 2 am. Not too bad, really. Also, the feeding woes have eased up quite a bit, although I have found that I do need to keep pumping pretty regularly, if not pretty often, to help keep my supply up. Brendan's almost completely off formula, but he does get a bottle from time to time if it seems like he's still hungry after I've fed him. He's making more vocalizations, starting to smile when he sees us, and sticking his tongue out (which is really cute). So he's developing his personality, and so far it seems like he's going to be a pretty good kid. Stay tuned on that score.
He got his first vaccinations last week. Three shots and an oral medication. They were to cover something like nine different diseases. I know there's a huge debate these days on whether or not vaccinations contribute to the increase in autism, but I just don't see enough evidence to suggest a strong link. My husband and I (and our siblings) were vaccinated as kids, and we're all fine. So we'll see what happens. He's due for the next round of shots in a couple months.
But the real reason I felt an urge to post has nothing to do with my own parenting experiences, but with something horrible that happened to a former schoolmate of mine. The guy in question wasn't really a close friend or anything, more like we hung around with some of the same people. He was a year ahead of me in school. Anyway, through the magic of social networking we've become friends on Facebook, which means an occasional comment on a status or picture, and a "happy birthday" on the corresponding day. You know. So, back during the summer, as I was in the first half of my own pregnancy, I noticed posts from him about his own impending offspring. He and his wife were having a boy, fairly soon from what I could gather from his posts. I congratulated him, mentioned my own pregnancy, and didn't really think much else about it. But I noticed that he was posting things like, "No baby yet" and "Due date moved again" in his statuses. When people asked about it, he said the baby's lungs were not developed enough yet. I took note of a few of those posts, and then didn't really pay attention to anything else. I've got a lot of Facebook friends, after all (I'm a game whore, the kind of person who accepts friend requests from people I don't know for the purpose of increasing my game armies. Now I'm more of a game skank, since I only play four games instead of twelve), and my news feed is full of tons of status updates, game posts, pictures, videos, and general crap that wastes my time pretty effectively. I probably noticed an occasional status update from this guy but didn't really think anything about it. But yesterday I did catch his status, and it shocked me.
His status said something about his mother-in-law coming over and taking some of his dead son's stuff, and how it had only been a week and she was never going to come over again if he could help it. It was laced with profanity and poorly spelled (which could have been either from being posted from a mobile phone or from stress), which is probably what caught my attention. In any case, I went back and looked at previous statuses he had posted, along with other people's comments, and discovered that they had finally gotten around to inducing his wife last week, and that they had lost the baby (and discovered a tumor, which they were going to operate on). I was saddened to read such news, but a number of people were also commenting on how long she had been pregnant, and I was thinking myself that surely she had been due before me, so I went back and looked at his previous posts.
His wife's original due date was JULY 17! She was induced in DECEMBER! That means she was pregnant for 14 MONTHS! I know there was obviously some kind of drastic birth defect, for his lungs to not have developed correctly even given that much extra time. But seriously, how could her doctors have let her go that long? I would have thought that they would have either done a c-section to get the kid in the NICU as soon as possible or realized that the pregnancy was probably going to end in stillbirth and gone ahead and delivered the baby sooner to at least make it somewhat easier on the mother. I know how stressed my body was after nine months; I cannot imagine carrying a baby five months longer than that, to say nothing of being under the stress of knowing the pregnancy was going horribly wrong.
When I think of all the things that could have gone wrong in my pregnancy and delivery (and those are just the things I know about), I realized how blessed we really are. And my heart just aches for this guy and his wife, and for everyone who has lost a child or been unable to have a child.
Whew. Anyway, I will try to get a little bit better about posting updates. Also, expect some weight-loss-related posts in the new year (I've lost all but ten pounds of my baby weight, but then there's that pesky 50 lbs or so extra that I've been carrying around).
Brendan is a pretty good baby. He's 8 1/2 weeks old now, almost 12 lbs and 23.5 inches long (up from 8 lbs and 22 inches at birth). While he doesn't sleep straight through the night yet, he usually wakes up just once, for about an hour and a half, generally around 2 am. Not too bad, really. Also, the feeding woes have eased up quite a bit, although I have found that I do need to keep pumping pretty regularly, if not pretty often, to help keep my supply up. Brendan's almost completely off formula, but he does get a bottle from time to time if it seems like he's still hungry after I've fed him. He's making more vocalizations, starting to smile when he sees us, and sticking his tongue out (which is really cute). So he's developing his personality, and so far it seems like he's going to be a pretty good kid. Stay tuned on that score.
He got his first vaccinations last week. Three shots and an oral medication. They were to cover something like nine different diseases. I know there's a huge debate these days on whether or not vaccinations contribute to the increase in autism, but I just don't see enough evidence to suggest a strong link. My husband and I (and our siblings) were vaccinated as kids, and we're all fine. So we'll see what happens. He's due for the next round of shots in a couple months.
But the real reason I felt an urge to post has nothing to do with my own parenting experiences, but with something horrible that happened to a former schoolmate of mine. The guy in question wasn't really a close friend or anything, more like we hung around with some of the same people. He was a year ahead of me in school. Anyway, through the magic of social networking we've become friends on Facebook, which means an occasional comment on a status or picture, and a "happy birthday" on the corresponding day. You know. So, back during the summer, as I was in the first half of my own pregnancy, I noticed posts from him about his own impending offspring. He and his wife were having a boy, fairly soon from what I could gather from his posts. I congratulated him, mentioned my own pregnancy, and didn't really think much else about it. But I noticed that he was posting things like, "No baby yet" and "Due date moved again" in his statuses. When people asked about it, he said the baby's lungs were not developed enough yet. I took note of a few of those posts, and then didn't really pay attention to anything else. I've got a lot of Facebook friends, after all (I'm a game whore, the kind of person who accepts friend requests from people I don't know for the purpose of increasing my game armies. Now I'm more of a game skank, since I only play four games instead of twelve), and my news feed is full of tons of status updates, game posts, pictures, videos, and general crap that wastes my time pretty effectively. I probably noticed an occasional status update from this guy but didn't really think anything about it. But yesterday I did catch his status, and it shocked me.
His status said something about his mother-in-law coming over and taking some of his dead son's stuff, and how it had only been a week and she was never going to come over again if he could help it. It was laced with profanity and poorly spelled (which could have been either from being posted from a mobile phone or from stress), which is probably what caught my attention. In any case, I went back and looked at previous statuses he had posted, along with other people's comments, and discovered that they had finally gotten around to inducing his wife last week, and that they had lost the baby (and discovered a tumor, which they were going to operate on). I was saddened to read such news, but a number of people were also commenting on how long she had been pregnant, and I was thinking myself that surely she had been due before me, so I went back and looked at his previous posts.
His wife's original due date was JULY 17! She was induced in DECEMBER! That means she was pregnant for 14 MONTHS! I know there was obviously some kind of drastic birth defect, for his lungs to not have developed correctly even given that much extra time. But seriously, how could her doctors have let her go that long? I would have thought that they would have either done a c-section to get the kid in the NICU as soon as possible or realized that the pregnancy was probably going to end in stillbirth and gone ahead and delivered the baby sooner to at least make it somewhat easier on the mother. I know how stressed my body was after nine months; I cannot imagine carrying a baby five months longer than that, to say nothing of being under the stress of knowing the pregnancy was going horribly wrong.
When I think of all the things that could have gone wrong in my pregnancy and delivery (and those are just the things I know about), I realized how blessed we really are. And my heart just aches for this guy and his wife, and for everyone who has lost a child or been unable to have a child.
Whew. Anyway, I will try to get a little bit better about posting updates. Also, expect some weight-loss-related posts in the new year (I've lost all but ten pounds of my baby weight, but then there's that pesky 50 lbs or so extra that I've been carrying around).
Friday, November 12, 2010
Paying for 9 months of no periods
Man, I'm tired of bleeding. It'll be three weeks tomorrow that I had my c-section, and I'm still having a lochia flow. Lochia is the lining of the uterus that is of course no longer needed after birth. As the uterus contacts back to its original size, the lining sloughs off, basically making a flow like a period. But three weeks? Sheesh. I was very happy to not have a period for nine months, but do I really have to make up for it by having nine months' worth of periods all at once? Bleah.
Also, I had to go in to the same-day care clinic yesterday to have them look at my incision. Twice it has "leaked" a pinkish yellow fluid, and I still have some pain (sort of a burning sensation), especially if I'm moving around after being in one position for a while (like going from sitting to standing). My husband looked at it and thought it looked a little funky, so I went in to see if there was an infection. The nurse took a culture and then squeezed a few spots to drain some fluid (that was a blast, really). She felt that the fluid was probably just a by-product of the healing process rather than being pus or anything like that. They'll call me today and let me know if there actually is an infection, but just in case they gave me a prescription for Keflex. Yippee.
I'm getting the hang of things, slowly. We're still not on much of a schedule, really. The only thing that is mostly assured is that the baby generally only wakes up once in the middle of the night. He'll wake up around 2:30 or so, and be up for 1 1/2 to 2 hours based on how much he eats and how long it takes to get him to go back to sleep. Of course, we're cheating a little bit, because we're giving him formula at night along with breastfeeding. Since formula digests more slowly, it keeps his tummy feeling fuller and so he sleeps longer because he doesn't feel hungry yet. I'm sure at some point we'll wean him off of it completely (most of the time he doesn't get any formula during the day, or at least not more than an ounce or so), but it sure is nice to know that he's going to sleep most of the night. My husband is no longer getting up with me when we feed--we're mixing the formula ahead of time, and I just heat the bottles and set them next to where I'm feeding so I can reach them easily--so it's taking a little bit longer to get through a feeding than it was, but overall it isn't too bad. I'd love a little more sleep (sometimes we go back to sleep in the mornings; I didn't today, even though Brendan's been sleeping here beside me; I'm just not feeling super tired right now. Maybe I'll nap later), but I think we're really pretty lucky.
That's not to say that I don't get super-frustrated when he's fussing and I can't get him to calm down. There are whole periods during the day when I basically have to just sit there and carry him around and rock him. I'd love for him to be able to entertain himself so I could just pop him into a playpen and let him go, but it's going to be a while before that happens. I'm a little resentful of my husband, simply because he doesn't generally have to deal with the fussiest times of day. He's not home for the middle of the day fussage, and then since he's not getting up with me at night, he's basically sleeping through the attempts I'm making to get the boy back to sleep. I don't get it; the baby can be practically unconscious while feeding, but as soon as I carry him back into the bedroom he's wide awake and ready to rock and roll. It takes about half an hour of rocking to get him back to sleep. Meh.
Anyway, I haven't snapped yet or lost my mind or anything like that. And hopefully it will continue to get easier. Hopefully.
Also, I had to go in to the same-day care clinic yesterday to have them look at my incision. Twice it has "leaked" a pinkish yellow fluid, and I still have some pain (sort of a burning sensation), especially if I'm moving around after being in one position for a while (like going from sitting to standing). My husband looked at it and thought it looked a little funky, so I went in to see if there was an infection. The nurse took a culture and then squeezed a few spots to drain some fluid (that was a blast, really). She felt that the fluid was probably just a by-product of the healing process rather than being pus or anything like that. They'll call me today and let me know if there actually is an infection, but just in case they gave me a prescription for Keflex. Yippee.
I'm getting the hang of things, slowly. We're still not on much of a schedule, really. The only thing that is mostly assured is that the baby generally only wakes up once in the middle of the night. He'll wake up around 2:30 or so, and be up for 1 1/2 to 2 hours based on how much he eats and how long it takes to get him to go back to sleep. Of course, we're cheating a little bit, because we're giving him formula at night along with breastfeeding. Since formula digests more slowly, it keeps his tummy feeling fuller and so he sleeps longer because he doesn't feel hungry yet. I'm sure at some point we'll wean him off of it completely (most of the time he doesn't get any formula during the day, or at least not more than an ounce or so), but it sure is nice to know that he's going to sleep most of the night. My husband is no longer getting up with me when we feed--we're mixing the formula ahead of time, and I just heat the bottles and set them next to where I'm feeding so I can reach them easily--so it's taking a little bit longer to get through a feeding than it was, but overall it isn't too bad. I'd love a little more sleep (sometimes we go back to sleep in the mornings; I didn't today, even though Brendan's been sleeping here beside me; I'm just not feeling super tired right now. Maybe I'll nap later), but I think we're really pretty lucky.
That's not to say that I don't get super-frustrated when he's fussing and I can't get him to calm down. There are whole periods during the day when I basically have to just sit there and carry him around and rock him. I'd love for him to be able to entertain himself so I could just pop him into a playpen and let him go, but it's going to be a while before that happens. I'm a little resentful of my husband, simply because he doesn't generally have to deal with the fussiest times of day. He's not home for the middle of the day fussage, and then since he's not getting up with me at night, he's basically sleeping through the attempts I'm making to get the boy back to sleep. I don't get it; the baby can be practically unconscious while feeding, but as soon as I carry him back into the bedroom he's wide awake and ready to rock and roll. It takes about half an hour of rocking to get him back to sleep. Meh.
Anyway, I haven't snapped yet or lost my mind or anything like that. And hopefully it will continue to get easier. Hopefully.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
One step forward, two steps back
I am flying solo today. My husband went back to work at the beginning of the week, and my mother-in-law went home this morning. We're still on the multi-method feeding schedule--breastfeeding as long as possible, then bottle feeding breast milk, and then bottle feeding formula (both while I'm pumping for the next feeding). It's time-consuming enough when my husband is available to split the work with me. It was difficult the past two days, when my mother-in-law did everything else around the house (laundry, cooking, vacuuming, cleaning, making me lunch while I fed the baby, all that good stuff). It seems nearly impossible, doing it all on my own. I have to breastfeed, then have two bottles ready, handle the burping and the changing (and does this kid ever go through diapers! Holy cow!), pump breast milk for the next feeding, sooth the baby when he's crying and fussing, and deal with the dog who wants to go out and go for a walk (which of course we can't do; even if the weather were really nice, which it isn't, Brendan's only a week and a half old and not really ready to be exposed to the elements). Somewhere in the middle of all this, I'm supposed to be making sure I'm drinking lots of fluids, keeping my feet up as much as possible, eating sensibly, getting a little exercise (like walking), and getting lots of rest. When the hell am I supposed to do those things?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Adventures in breastfeeding...
...or, My new life as a dairy cow.
I had no idea that something that female mammals have been doing since God created the world would be so frickin' difficult.
Nine days after my c section, my milk still has not "come in". I am a mixture of frustrated, annoyed, and emotionally drained by all this.
While I was still in the birth center, a lactation consultant came and talked to me about feeding. The nurses had given me a plastic breast shield to help draw out my nipples, but that first consultant recommended I not use it. She said it made for "lazy nursing" on the baby's part. She told me to use sugar water or drips of formula on my nipple to keep Brendan's attention during nursing, and gave me advice on helping him latch on. Later that same day, a second, different consultant came by to see how things were going. I told her Brendan was having difficulty latching on without the shield. She said she thought I should go ahead and use the shield if it helped. She told me that once Brendan got the hang of feeding I could start "weaning" him off the shield.
I had expressed to both consultants that I was concerned that I wasn't producing any milk. At no point during my pregnancy did I ever notice any colostrum or anything. My breasts did go through changes during the pregnancy: they got very sore and sensitive, and definitely increased in size (like I needed that). Both consultants assured me that, while I might not see anything, I surely was producing colostrum, and that newborns don't need much because they still are running off the nutrition they had gotten from momma prior to birth, and that my milk would "come in" soon. Since these were the knowledgeable professionals, I did what they told me to do.
After the first few feedings, we noticed (and the nurses concurred) that Brendan got positively frantic during feedings. One of the nurses compared his attempts to latch with a dog with a chew toy. He cried, he rooted, he flailed. Several of the nurses agreed with us that he still seemed hungry after our attempted feedings, and they suggested that I supplement with formula until my supply increased.
The first night home was a disaster. Of course we were all exhausted just trying to get into a routine, but Brendan couldn't seem to breastfeed at all, and we resorted to full bottles of formula out of desperation. We went back in that next day to talk to the lactation consultant again. She spent a whole hour working with us on all the technicalities of feeding (how to hold the baby, helping him latch, etc.). She told us again to use drips of formula on my nipples to "prime the pump" and encourage him to keep feeding. She gave us a little eye dropper to use and sent us on our way. She again sort of "pooh-poohed" my concerns about my supply, and told us not to supplement with formula.
We went home and tried to stick with the plan the lactation consultant had laid out for us. But after much screaming, flailing, rooting, hand-chewing, and a great deal of crying on both our parts, I broke down and gave Brendan a bottle of formula in the middle of the night. He just seemed so HUNGRY.
The next day we had our first checkup with the pediatrician (Brendan was now four days old). To our horror, Brendan had lost almost a full pound from his birth weight (born at 8 lbs, now down to 7 lbs 1 oz). The pediatrician was extremely concerned; she said that weight loss of more than 10% could be cause to admit him to the hospital. They did a heel stick to check his bilirubin, which thankfully was in the normal limits so they didn't admit him to the hospital. But the pediatrician finally listened to my concerns about my supply. She sent us home with instructions to try to breastfeed him for as long as he'd tolerate on each side, then get on my breastpump and see what I could pump while my husband gave Brendan a couple ounces of formula. Anything I could pump would then be given in a bottle during the next feeding (after the breastfeeding and before the formula). She told us to come back the next day.
Definitely a complicated feeding plan. But I was incredibly relieved, when I got on the pump for the first time, to see that I indeed was producing something. I managed to pump a tiny bit of colostrum, only about half an ounce, but it really was there. I was so relieved, in fact, that I burst into tears. I had just been devastated by the idea that I was not able to take care of my baby's needs. So we went back to the pediatrician the next day and reported what had happened. Just with our formula supplementation, Brendan's weight was back up to 7 lbs 9 oz, after only one day. Poor baby had obviously been super dehydrated. Just in those 24 hours he produced more wet diapers than he had the entire rest of his life. How sad is that?
The pediatrician had been doing a little research. She said that hypertensive mothers (I've been treated for high blood pressure for probably seven or eight years now) often have a delay in their milk coming in. Also, women who had a c section tend to be delayed. And since I had so many anti-diuretic meds during the course of my labor and c-section, I am having major fluid retention issues (my legs, ankles, and feet are horrifically swollen), which probably is also affecting my milk production. She told us to continue our feeding routine--the pump would help Brendan access my milk regardless of how well he was latching, and it would help stimulate my milk production. She said she felt confident that we were still within the window of opportunity for me to be able to breastfeed.
So feeding has been a two-person job. While I start Brendan out on breast, my husband warms up the previous pump-job's bottle of breast milk and then mixes up the bottle of formula. When I'm done, I hand Brendan over to him and get on the pump. I still have not pumped more than an ounce total at one time, but the quality of the milk has changed (not colostrum any more; thinner and whiter), and Brendan is spending more time on each breast which means he's probably getting more from me than he was.
But everyone keeps talking about milk "coming in", and breasts getting engorged, and "letting down" and all that, and it just isn't happening for me. I would really like to be able to stop worrying about the formula (and the pumping--holy crap that thing hurts!) and just breastfeed. I'll be happy to pump enough for my husband to do some feedings himself, but this whole "pump every two hours" thing is exhausting and painful. It takes over an hour to complete the feeding process, and when we're feeding every two hours, it seems like my entire life is spent either breastfeeding or pumping. I'm tired.
Did anyone else have any problems similar to this? Do you think my milk will ever show up, or am I going to be doomed to keep up this stupid feeding schedule forever? I'm just super discouraged.
I had no idea that something that female mammals have been doing since God created the world would be so frickin' difficult.
Nine days after my c section, my milk still has not "come in". I am a mixture of frustrated, annoyed, and emotionally drained by all this.
While I was still in the birth center, a lactation consultant came and talked to me about feeding. The nurses had given me a plastic breast shield to help draw out my nipples, but that first consultant recommended I not use it. She said it made for "lazy nursing" on the baby's part. She told me to use sugar water or drips of formula on my nipple to keep Brendan's attention during nursing, and gave me advice on helping him latch on. Later that same day, a second, different consultant came by to see how things were going. I told her Brendan was having difficulty latching on without the shield. She said she thought I should go ahead and use the shield if it helped. She told me that once Brendan got the hang of feeding I could start "weaning" him off the shield.
I had expressed to both consultants that I was concerned that I wasn't producing any milk. At no point during my pregnancy did I ever notice any colostrum or anything. My breasts did go through changes during the pregnancy: they got very sore and sensitive, and definitely increased in size (like I needed that). Both consultants assured me that, while I might not see anything, I surely was producing colostrum, and that newborns don't need much because they still are running off the nutrition they had gotten from momma prior to birth, and that my milk would "come in" soon. Since these were the knowledgeable professionals, I did what they told me to do.
After the first few feedings, we noticed (and the nurses concurred) that Brendan got positively frantic during feedings. One of the nurses compared his attempts to latch with a dog with a chew toy. He cried, he rooted, he flailed. Several of the nurses agreed with us that he still seemed hungry after our attempted feedings, and they suggested that I supplement with formula until my supply increased.
The first night home was a disaster. Of course we were all exhausted just trying to get into a routine, but Brendan couldn't seem to breastfeed at all, and we resorted to full bottles of formula out of desperation. We went back in that next day to talk to the lactation consultant again. She spent a whole hour working with us on all the technicalities of feeding (how to hold the baby, helping him latch, etc.). She told us again to use drips of formula on my nipples to "prime the pump" and encourage him to keep feeding. She gave us a little eye dropper to use and sent us on our way. She again sort of "pooh-poohed" my concerns about my supply, and told us not to supplement with formula.
We went home and tried to stick with the plan the lactation consultant had laid out for us. But after much screaming, flailing, rooting, hand-chewing, and a great deal of crying on both our parts, I broke down and gave Brendan a bottle of formula in the middle of the night. He just seemed so HUNGRY.
The next day we had our first checkup with the pediatrician (Brendan was now four days old). To our horror, Brendan had lost almost a full pound from his birth weight (born at 8 lbs, now down to 7 lbs 1 oz). The pediatrician was extremely concerned; she said that weight loss of more than 10% could be cause to admit him to the hospital. They did a heel stick to check his bilirubin, which thankfully was in the normal limits so they didn't admit him to the hospital. But the pediatrician finally listened to my concerns about my supply. She sent us home with instructions to try to breastfeed him for as long as he'd tolerate on each side, then get on my breastpump and see what I could pump while my husband gave Brendan a couple ounces of formula. Anything I could pump would then be given in a bottle during the next feeding (after the breastfeeding and before the formula). She told us to come back the next day.
Definitely a complicated feeding plan. But I was incredibly relieved, when I got on the pump for the first time, to see that I indeed was producing something. I managed to pump a tiny bit of colostrum, only about half an ounce, but it really was there. I was so relieved, in fact, that I burst into tears. I had just been devastated by the idea that I was not able to take care of my baby's needs. So we went back to the pediatrician the next day and reported what had happened. Just with our formula supplementation, Brendan's weight was back up to 7 lbs 9 oz, after only one day. Poor baby had obviously been super dehydrated. Just in those 24 hours he produced more wet diapers than he had the entire rest of his life. How sad is that?
The pediatrician had been doing a little research. She said that hypertensive mothers (I've been treated for high blood pressure for probably seven or eight years now) often have a delay in their milk coming in. Also, women who had a c section tend to be delayed. And since I had so many anti-diuretic meds during the course of my labor and c-section, I am having major fluid retention issues (my legs, ankles, and feet are horrifically swollen), which probably is also affecting my milk production. She told us to continue our feeding routine--the pump would help Brendan access my milk regardless of how well he was latching, and it would help stimulate my milk production. She said she felt confident that we were still within the window of opportunity for me to be able to breastfeed.
So feeding has been a two-person job. While I start Brendan out on breast, my husband warms up the previous pump-job's bottle of breast milk and then mixes up the bottle of formula. When I'm done, I hand Brendan over to him and get on the pump. I still have not pumped more than an ounce total at one time, but the quality of the milk has changed (not colostrum any more; thinner and whiter), and Brendan is spending more time on each breast which means he's probably getting more from me than he was.
But everyone keeps talking about milk "coming in", and breasts getting engorged, and "letting down" and all that, and it just isn't happening for me. I would really like to be able to stop worrying about the formula (and the pumping--holy crap that thing hurts!) and just breastfeed. I'll be happy to pump enough for my husband to do some feedings himself, but this whole "pump every two hours" thing is exhausting and painful. It takes over an hour to complete the feeding process, and when we're feeding every two hours, it seems like my entire life is spent either breastfeeding or pumping. I'm tired.
Did anyone else have any problems similar to this? Do you think my milk will ever show up, or am I going to be doomed to keep up this stupid feeding schedule forever? I'm just super discouraged.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Rumors of my demise have been greatly appreciated
So. Significant changes to this blog. Once upon a time, it started as "Diary of a Mother-to-be-to-be", following my preparations to eventually become pregnant. It was all about weight loss and other things that needed to be done prior to my becoming a parent. Then, it became "Diary of a Mother-to-be", once I did actually become pregnant. It followed my physical and emotional changes as I went through nine months of fun and frolic.
And now, it undergoes yet another change, as I AM NOW A MOTHER. I am now the proud owner of a bouncing baby boy named Brendan, 8 lbs, 22 inches long, born at 8:13 am on Saturday, October 23.
Just last Thursday I was wondering about the signs of labor and whether or not I would actually know when I was starting labor. I mean, you hear all the time about women who end up giving birth in bathrooms and backseats because they didn't know they were in labor until they were in the later stages. I spent part of that afternoon wondering about that, because I was having intermittent lower back and lower abdominal pain throughout the afternoon. They were minor pains, so I really didn't give them much thought other than to wonder if they were somehow related to early signs of labor.
But it wasn't until later that evening that it occurred to both myself and my husband that these pains might indeed be early contractions. That realization coincided with the loss of my mucous plug. From that point (about 11 pm), we started keeping track of how frequent these contractions were and how long they were lasting. At that moment the contractions were 25-30 minutes apart, and only lasting about a minute. I employed my breathing techniques (thank you, birthing class) each time one rolled around. I was surprised to find that I did at least doze in between the contractions. I wouldn't have thought that was possible--I figured the excitement (and discomfort) would be enough to keep me awake.
By 6:30 Friday morning, I was starting to really feel the discomfort (not yet pain) of the contractions, and they were about 10 minutes apart. I called the Family Birth Center at the hospital and spoke with one of the charge nurses. She wanted me to wait to come in until I was having contractions about 2-3 minutes apart. I told her that my 39 week checkup was that same morning, so she recommended I go see my OB as planned and see what she said about my situation.
My OB did a cervical check and informed me that I was about 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced. She said she had sort of "broken through" a membrane on my cervix while doing my exam, and she figured that would probably jumpstart things. She thought I'd be at the birth center within 4-5 hours. She said she was the OB on call that evening, and that she'd see me then. This was the first time that a cervical check had produced any kind of progress in my condition, so I was pretty excited (and in a bit of pain).
I spent the middle part of Friday just hanging in there, packing our hospital bag and making sure everything was ready for the baby. The contractions were gradually increasing in strength and frequency, until they were about 2 1/2 minutes apart and about 1 1/2 minutes long. By about 3 or so in the afternoon I was pretty uncomfortable and ready for the hospital. I called the birth center and spoke to the nurse, and she said it was time to come on in. After making sure the dogs had been walked (since we didn't know when someone would be back at the house to take them out again), we loaded up two vehicles (my husband was driving me, and we were followed by his parents and my dad) and headed to the hospital.
After signing some paperwork, the nurses led me into a triage room, where they checked me once again. Between 4-5 cm this time. My OB came in and said they were definitely admitting me, and that things were looking good. They got me in my own room, got me on an IV with some pain medication, and we settled in to see how things progressed. Every hour or so someone would come in to check me again. 6 cm. My contractions were strong; they had me hooked up to monitors and my husband could see each contraction and talk me through it. I was hurting pretty bad and was pretty tired; after all, I'd been having contractions for about 24 hours. But each time they checked me, the result was the same: about 6 cm. I just wasn't getting past that.
Some time that evening, I requested an epidural. I was really hurting bad, the contractions were really strong and very close together, but since I wasn't making any progress with my cervix opening, I couldn't get out of transitional labor. I was pretty exhausted. The anesthesiologist came in and ran the line in my back for the epidural. I've gotta say, I should have gotten the epidural WAY before then. It was wonderful. I've read horror stories about people whose epidurals didn't work, or were so strong they couldn't push, or only numbed half their back, or whatever, but mine was fabulous. They started me on pitocin in my IV to get me past the 6 cm stage, but each time they checked me, I was still stalled out. They upped my pitocin dosage three different times, to no avail. I could tell how strong the contractions were because I could SEE them each time my belly tightened up, and we could see them on the monitor, but since I wasn't opening up there was just nothing I could do. The hours passed, my epidural started to wear off a bit, and I started to hurt again.
At 5 am on Saturday morning, my OB (who looked pretty worn out herself; they'd had a lot of babies that night) came in. She said, "I get the feeling you've had it; you're done. You just aren't progressing like you should be, and I can tell you are really tired. So I think we're going to do a c-section and get this baby out. There's no reason to prolong this any more than we already have." I was so relieved (and I'm sure my family was, too; in my preoccupation with my own situation I had pretty much forgotten that my in-laws and my dad had been holed up in the waiting room since Friday afternoon with only the occasional update). She said, "Well, within the hour we should have a baby for you!"
But within a few minutes, the nurses came in to tell me there would be yet another delay: another woman in labor was having complications, and they were going to do a c-section on her as well. They decided since she was having trouble and I wasn't (Brendan was never distressed or anything, and I was fine except for being tired and frustrated) that she would go first. The anesthesiologist came back in and gave me a second hit to my epidural; he said it would be a real bummer to be sitting there, waiting, and having painful contractions since my previous one was kind of wearing off. And then we waited. Again. Still.
Not sure how complicated this other woman's situation was, but it must have been a doozy, because they didn't come for me until about 7:30. They got me set up in the operating room, got my husband set up in his scrubs, and dosed me up good with more painkillers. Between those and the previous shot to my epidural site, I could barely keep my eyes open. They put the drape up across my chest so we couldn't see what was going on around my abdomen (for which my husband was thankful; he was worried about passing out, even during a regular delivery). And from that point, things went very quickly. It was probably only ten minutes or so from the first incision (not that I would know, since I couldn't really tell when the first incision was or anything like that) before they came around the corner of the drape to show off my son (who was a little gooey but otherwise pretty good-looking). He was lighter than previously estimated (only 8 lbs rather than 9+, which makes it seem unlikely that I had stalled out in my labor progress because "he wouldn't fit"), but he was long, 22 inches. They took him over to clean him up, take care of his cord, weigh him, measure him, and whatever else it is that they do, and my OB continued to do whatever it was she was doing down there.
It turns out that even if I had done a regular delivery, she might have had to go in, because my placenta was firmly attached to the top of my uterus, and she really had to work to get it delivered. It took much longer to get the placenta out than it did to get the baby out. But she did successfully get everything out and closed back up, and they got me back to my room. Brendan was right behind me, and I got to feed him for the first time (not that there was much feeding; he wasn't exactly hungry and I wasn't completely coherent, but still). And so we settled in. Nurses came in regularly to check on us, take vital signs, get me up on my feet (after the epidurals wore off, of course), get me cleaned up, and all those fun things. Brendan had a bunch of tests he had to go through (heel sticks and such), a circumcision to endure (the nurse asked if either my husband or I would like to go watch--she didn't even have the question out of her mouth when my husband said, "No, that's OK"), and get his hearing checked.
It was difficult to get much sleep either night we were in the birth center. The nurses kept coming in to check on the both of us. Of course Brendan didn't have any kind of routine either; he woke up when he felt like it. Since he wasn't eating much, it was hard to figure out how to soothe him. And neither my husband on the pullout sofa nor I on my slightly reclined hospital bed was particularly comfortable. We were happy on Monday evening to be discharged so we could come home and at least sleep in our own bed.
The days since we came home have been interesting, to say the least. I'm just glad my husband was given the week off so we could get the hang of things together, before he has to start getting up in the mornings to get to work. And I'm glad my in-laws have been here. My mother-in-law especially has been a huge blessing--she's cooking for us, filling our freezer for when she goes home, cleaning up the house, and watching the baby for us so we can go take an occasional badly needed nap. I'm glad my father got to be here to see his first grandchild. He seemed really excited about the whole thing. And I'm glad that, as long and exhausting as the birth process was, things went as smoothly as they did. My pregnancy was easy, my blood pressure and age never became issues, and a week after I had what amounts to major abdominal surgery, I'm healing pretty well (I just wish the swelling in my legs and feet would go down). If there's one thing I would change about this whole thing, it would be to have my mom here. Especially since all this took place over what would have been her 67th birthday, her presence was sorely missed. I know she was looking down on us and was with me the whole time, but I sure wish I could have been able to put him in her arms and see her face looking down at his.
And now, it undergoes yet another change, as I AM NOW A MOTHER. I am now the proud owner of a bouncing baby boy named Brendan, 8 lbs, 22 inches long, born at 8:13 am on Saturday, October 23.
Just last Thursday I was wondering about the signs of labor and whether or not I would actually know when I was starting labor. I mean, you hear all the time about women who end up giving birth in bathrooms and backseats because they didn't know they were in labor until they were in the later stages. I spent part of that afternoon wondering about that, because I was having intermittent lower back and lower abdominal pain throughout the afternoon. They were minor pains, so I really didn't give them much thought other than to wonder if they were somehow related to early signs of labor.
But it wasn't until later that evening that it occurred to both myself and my husband that these pains might indeed be early contractions. That realization coincided with the loss of my mucous plug. From that point (about 11 pm), we started keeping track of how frequent these contractions were and how long they were lasting. At that moment the contractions were 25-30 minutes apart, and only lasting about a minute. I employed my breathing techniques (thank you, birthing class) each time one rolled around. I was surprised to find that I did at least doze in between the contractions. I wouldn't have thought that was possible--I figured the excitement (and discomfort) would be enough to keep me awake.
By 6:30 Friday morning, I was starting to really feel the discomfort (not yet pain) of the contractions, and they were about 10 minutes apart. I called the Family Birth Center at the hospital and spoke with one of the charge nurses. She wanted me to wait to come in until I was having contractions about 2-3 minutes apart. I told her that my 39 week checkup was that same morning, so she recommended I go see my OB as planned and see what she said about my situation.
My OB did a cervical check and informed me that I was about 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced. She said she had sort of "broken through" a membrane on my cervix while doing my exam, and she figured that would probably jumpstart things. She thought I'd be at the birth center within 4-5 hours. She said she was the OB on call that evening, and that she'd see me then. This was the first time that a cervical check had produced any kind of progress in my condition, so I was pretty excited (and in a bit of pain).
I spent the middle part of Friday just hanging in there, packing our hospital bag and making sure everything was ready for the baby. The contractions were gradually increasing in strength and frequency, until they were about 2 1/2 minutes apart and about 1 1/2 minutes long. By about 3 or so in the afternoon I was pretty uncomfortable and ready for the hospital. I called the birth center and spoke to the nurse, and she said it was time to come on in. After making sure the dogs had been walked (since we didn't know when someone would be back at the house to take them out again), we loaded up two vehicles (my husband was driving me, and we were followed by his parents and my dad) and headed to the hospital.
After signing some paperwork, the nurses led me into a triage room, where they checked me once again. Between 4-5 cm this time. My OB came in and said they were definitely admitting me, and that things were looking good. They got me in my own room, got me on an IV with some pain medication, and we settled in to see how things progressed. Every hour or so someone would come in to check me again. 6 cm. My contractions were strong; they had me hooked up to monitors and my husband could see each contraction and talk me through it. I was hurting pretty bad and was pretty tired; after all, I'd been having contractions for about 24 hours. But each time they checked me, the result was the same: about 6 cm. I just wasn't getting past that.
Some time that evening, I requested an epidural. I was really hurting bad, the contractions were really strong and very close together, but since I wasn't making any progress with my cervix opening, I couldn't get out of transitional labor. I was pretty exhausted. The anesthesiologist came in and ran the line in my back for the epidural. I've gotta say, I should have gotten the epidural WAY before then. It was wonderful. I've read horror stories about people whose epidurals didn't work, or were so strong they couldn't push, or only numbed half their back, or whatever, but mine was fabulous. They started me on pitocin in my IV to get me past the 6 cm stage, but each time they checked me, I was still stalled out. They upped my pitocin dosage three different times, to no avail. I could tell how strong the contractions were because I could SEE them each time my belly tightened up, and we could see them on the monitor, but since I wasn't opening up there was just nothing I could do. The hours passed, my epidural started to wear off a bit, and I started to hurt again.
At 5 am on Saturday morning, my OB (who looked pretty worn out herself; they'd had a lot of babies that night) came in. She said, "I get the feeling you've had it; you're done. You just aren't progressing like you should be, and I can tell you are really tired. So I think we're going to do a c-section and get this baby out. There's no reason to prolong this any more than we already have." I was so relieved (and I'm sure my family was, too; in my preoccupation with my own situation I had pretty much forgotten that my in-laws and my dad had been holed up in the waiting room since Friday afternoon with only the occasional update). She said, "Well, within the hour we should have a baby for you!"
But within a few minutes, the nurses came in to tell me there would be yet another delay: another woman in labor was having complications, and they were going to do a c-section on her as well. They decided since she was having trouble and I wasn't (Brendan was never distressed or anything, and I was fine except for being tired and frustrated) that she would go first. The anesthesiologist came back in and gave me a second hit to my epidural; he said it would be a real bummer to be sitting there, waiting, and having painful contractions since my previous one was kind of wearing off. And then we waited. Again. Still.
Not sure how complicated this other woman's situation was, but it must have been a doozy, because they didn't come for me until about 7:30. They got me set up in the operating room, got my husband set up in his scrubs, and dosed me up good with more painkillers. Between those and the previous shot to my epidural site, I could barely keep my eyes open. They put the drape up across my chest so we couldn't see what was going on around my abdomen (for which my husband was thankful; he was worried about passing out, even during a regular delivery). And from that point, things went very quickly. It was probably only ten minutes or so from the first incision (not that I would know, since I couldn't really tell when the first incision was or anything like that) before they came around the corner of the drape to show off my son (who was a little gooey but otherwise pretty good-looking). He was lighter than previously estimated (only 8 lbs rather than 9+, which makes it seem unlikely that I had stalled out in my labor progress because "he wouldn't fit"), but he was long, 22 inches. They took him over to clean him up, take care of his cord, weigh him, measure him, and whatever else it is that they do, and my OB continued to do whatever it was she was doing down there.
It turns out that even if I had done a regular delivery, she might have had to go in, because my placenta was firmly attached to the top of my uterus, and she really had to work to get it delivered. It took much longer to get the placenta out than it did to get the baby out. But she did successfully get everything out and closed back up, and they got me back to my room. Brendan was right behind me, and I got to feed him for the first time (not that there was much feeding; he wasn't exactly hungry and I wasn't completely coherent, but still). And so we settled in. Nurses came in regularly to check on us, take vital signs, get me up on my feet (after the epidurals wore off, of course), get me cleaned up, and all those fun things. Brendan had a bunch of tests he had to go through (heel sticks and such), a circumcision to endure (the nurse asked if either my husband or I would like to go watch--she didn't even have the question out of her mouth when my husband said, "No, that's OK"), and get his hearing checked.
It was difficult to get much sleep either night we were in the birth center. The nurses kept coming in to check on the both of us. Of course Brendan didn't have any kind of routine either; he woke up when he felt like it. Since he wasn't eating much, it was hard to figure out how to soothe him. And neither my husband on the pullout sofa nor I on my slightly reclined hospital bed was particularly comfortable. We were happy on Monday evening to be discharged so we could come home and at least sleep in our own bed.
The days since we came home have been interesting, to say the least. I'm just glad my husband was given the week off so we could get the hang of things together, before he has to start getting up in the mornings to get to work. And I'm glad my in-laws have been here. My mother-in-law especially has been a huge blessing--she's cooking for us, filling our freezer for when she goes home, cleaning up the house, and watching the baby for us so we can go take an occasional badly needed nap. I'm glad my father got to be here to see his first grandchild. He seemed really excited about the whole thing. And I'm glad that, as long and exhausting as the birth process was, things went as smoothly as they did. My pregnancy was easy, my blood pressure and age never became issues, and a week after I had what amounts to major abdominal surgery, I'm healing pretty well (I just wish the swelling in my legs and feet would go down). If there's one thing I would change about this whole thing, it would be to have my mom here. Especially since all this took place over what would have been her 67th birthday, her presence was sorely missed. I know she was looking down on us and was with me the whole time, but I sure wish I could have been able to put him in her arms and see her face looking down at his.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Another year older and still pregant
Well, I do not have to worry about sharing my birthday with my child, I guess. Turned 36 yesterday, and still no sign of labor. Of course I don't yet know if the pineapple I ate the other day has had any effect (I did get some more at the store today, just in case); I won't know until I get to the doctor tomorrow morning for my checkup. I still have lots of pelvic pressure and discomfort, and I have occasional lower abdominal discomfort, almost like menstrual cramps, and some lower back pain, but none of it seems to fall into the pattern of contractions or even early signs of labor. There has been some hope that perhaps I might have the baby tomorrow (which would have been my mother's birthday), but as today progresses I have to assume that possibility is getting less and less likely. My sister-in-law hopes I'll have him on Monday, which is her birthday. I'm just hoping he decides to show up while my dad is in town, which is until the 26th. But I'd just like him to show up, period. I'm tired of being pregnant. *sigh*
Monday, October 18, 2010
The (pine)apple of my eye
39 weeks 2 days. I'm eager to get this party started. Nothing seems to be happening, so I thought I'd try a little experiment.
I've read a variety of "self-inducing" stories where women have consumed certain foods/drinks that have caused them (supposedly) to go into labor. Most of these (castor oil, black tea and sauerkraut) don't sound very pleasant. But I've read in several places that fresh pineapple has some kind of enzyme that helps "tone" the cervix. It doesn't cause contractions or anything like that, but it does (according to these various sources) help the cervix start to thin out and efface. That will make it easier for the cervix to start dilating, and then the contractions can start on their own.
I happen to like fresh pineapple, so this seemed like a reasonable self-induction myth to test. I bought a container of pineapple chunks while at the grocery store, and ate the whole thing. Of course, now I don't know what to follow that up with. I don't have another appointment until Friday, so I'm not going to be able to have anyone check me to see if I'm actually dilating or not. I guess I'll just have to wait a couple of days and see if I start having contractions, or wait until my appointment and see if the doctor finds that I'm dilating or not. I guess I could go on to a "guaranteed" labor-inducer a friend told me about, but it's sauerkraut, and while I'm a quarter German, I've never really found an affinity for the stuff. I'd like to go into labor soon, but I'm just not sure if I'm THAT willing to experiment. We'll see.
I've read a variety of "self-inducing" stories where women have consumed certain foods/drinks that have caused them (supposedly) to go into labor. Most of these (castor oil, black tea and sauerkraut) don't sound very pleasant. But I've read in several places that fresh pineapple has some kind of enzyme that helps "tone" the cervix. It doesn't cause contractions or anything like that, but it does (according to these various sources) help the cervix start to thin out and efface. That will make it easier for the cervix to start dilating, and then the contractions can start on their own.
I happen to like fresh pineapple, so this seemed like a reasonable self-induction myth to test. I bought a container of pineapple chunks while at the grocery store, and ate the whole thing. Of course, now I don't know what to follow that up with. I don't have another appointment until Friday, so I'm not going to be able to have anyone check me to see if I'm actually dilating or not. I guess I'll just have to wait a couple of days and see if I start having contractions, or wait until my appointment and see if the doctor finds that I'm dilating or not. I guess I could go on to a "guaranteed" labor-inducer a friend told me about, but it's sauerkraut, and while I'm a quarter German, I've never really found an affinity for the stuff. I'd like to go into labor soon, but I'm just not sure if I'm THAT willing to experiment. We'll see.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Nothing outlasts the Energizer bunny except me
39 weeks. My due date is one week from today. Since this is a first baby, I could technically have as many as three weeks to go (not that I think my OB would let me go that long). So it isn't really realistic to expect that the baby would be making an appearance this early.
So why am I so jealous of the people I know who are beating me to the punch, so to speak? A former student of mine, who wasn't due until Halloween, had her baby early due to gestational diabetes. Another of my friends, due the day after I am, is scheduled to have her baby on Tuesday (he's breech, and they'll either turn him and induce or c-section him, but one way or another he's coming out). While I certainly don't envy the difficulties they've had in their pregnancies, I can't help but envy the fact that they knew/know exactly when they'd have their babies.
I compared it to waiting for Christmas, except you know exactly how many days are left until Christmas. I'm not really sure what else this equates to.
I have plenty of reasons to want to wait. My birthday is in the middle of this week, and I would rather not spend my birthday in the hospital. Also, my dad is coming into town, and he won't be here until Wednesday. I'd hate to have him miss all the fun. Lastly, my OB is out of town until Wednesday night, so if I want her involvement (which would be nice, since she's been my dr. the whole time), I have to wait until at least Thursday. And an added bonus would be the possibility of having the baby on Friday, which would have been my mother's 67th birthday. I've missed her very much during this pregnancy, so it would be a neat tribute to her to have her grandson born on her birthday.
So why am I so impatient?
So why am I so jealous of the people I know who are beating me to the punch, so to speak? A former student of mine, who wasn't due until Halloween, had her baby early due to gestational diabetes. Another of my friends, due the day after I am, is scheduled to have her baby on Tuesday (he's breech, and they'll either turn him and induce or c-section him, but one way or another he's coming out). While I certainly don't envy the difficulties they've had in their pregnancies, I can't help but envy the fact that they knew/know exactly when they'd have their babies.
I compared it to waiting for Christmas, except you know exactly how many days are left until Christmas. I'm not really sure what else this equates to.
I have plenty of reasons to want to wait. My birthday is in the middle of this week, and I would rather not spend my birthday in the hospital. Also, my dad is coming into town, and he won't be here until Wednesday. I'd hate to have him miss all the fun. Lastly, my OB is out of town until Wednesday night, so if I want her involvement (which would be nice, since she's been my dr. the whole time), I have to wait until at least Thursday. And an added bonus would be the possibility of having the baby on Friday, which would have been my mother's 67th birthday. I've missed her very much during this pregnancy, so it would be a neat tribute to her to have her grandson born on her birthday.
So why am I so impatient?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
You're so vein
First of all, I'm just massively disappointed today. Had my 38-week checkup yesterday, and there's still no progress. No dilation or anything. I know he's dropped, because each day brings increased pressure and discomfort in my pelvis. It's getting harder and harder to walk. But for each week that he stays put, he gets bigger. Now, I shouldn't be disappointed. While anything after 37 weeks is considered "full term", 40 weeks is the traditional nine month gestation period, and a pregnancy could go as far as 42 weeks. So I really could still have up to 3 1/2 weeks left. But I guess just knowing that his lungs should be ready to go and he'd be just fine out here, makes me really want to have him here. And of course a lot of it is selfish. This has been an easy pregnancy, but these last few weeks I've started to get really uncomfortable. I'm totally huge--I weighed 245 lbs yesterday, which is 20 lbs more than I've ever weighed in my life--and it's really hard to do anything. I can't go up and down the stairs easily, I get tired walking the dog even for just a little while, all I want to do is sit on the couch and not do anything. I don't like feeling this way. So the idea of getting Brendan out and immediately losing at least 10 lbs is extremely appealing. Then there's the aspect of change. I know our life is going to change drastically once he's here, and I hate waiting and anticipating the change. I want to KNOW what these changes are going to be like. I want to get started on this new phase. Waiting for this is worse than waiting for Christmas, because at least no matter how much anticipation there is you know exactly when Christmas is coming.
I haven't had a lot of side effects as far as the pregnancy is concerned. I didn't have hardly any morning sickness, my blood pressure hasn't caused any problems for me, and even as far as my weight gain has gone, it hasn't been in the realm that some women have experienced. I have a little swelling of my hands and feet, but it's easily managed. One of the biggest annoyances I have had to deal with is varicose veins.
Varicose veins are basically swollen veins that are having blood backflow into them. There are a variety of causes for varicose veins, and pregnancy is a very common cause. Because there is so much pressure on the circulatory system, some blood gets forced back down into the lower veins (usually in the legs), causing them to swell. When this backflow happens in smaller, secondary veins that are near the surface, they don't swell as much but they become very obvious, turning blue or red, and they are called spider veins. Then there's a wonderful, special kind of varicose veins. These are veins around the rectum that get swollen because of pressure placed on them. These fabulous little guys are call HEMORRHOIDS. They itch, they bleed, they burn, because unlike the other varicose veins on the body, they are constantly having more pressure put on them every time you use the bathroom and then they are being abraded by wiping. Not cool at all. These are also very common in pregnancy, especially in late pregnancy since the baby is low and putting pressure on the vagina and rectum. Thankfully, for me, these particular varicose veins only started showing up a few weeks ago. But I'm hoping almost all of these different kinds of varicose veins go away soon after I deliver. Which is just another reason I really, really want to have this baby soon.
Of course, if I do go into labor in the next week, I'm not going to have my OB with me. She is currently enjoying her honeymoon in Maui. So I guess there is good reason for me to just hang on, not try any of those "old wives' tales" about self-inducing labor, and just ride it out until my next appointment, which is next Friday. But the temptation is definitely there. We'll see what the next week or so has to offer.
I haven't had a lot of side effects as far as the pregnancy is concerned. I didn't have hardly any morning sickness, my blood pressure hasn't caused any problems for me, and even as far as my weight gain has gone, it hasn't been in the realm that some women have experienced. I have a little swelling of my hands and feet, but it's easily managed. One of the biggest annoyances I have had to deal with is varicose veins.
Varicose veins are basically swollen veins that are having blood backflow into them. There are a variety of causes for varicose veins, and pregnancy is a very common cause. Because there is so much pressure on the circulatory system, some blood gets forced back down into the lower veins (usually in the legs), causing them to swell. When this backflow happens in smaller, secondary veins that are near the surface, they don't swell as much but they become very obvious, turning blue or red, and they are called spider veins. Then there's a wonderful, special kind of varicose veins. These are veins around the rectum that get swollen because of pressure placed on them. These fabulous little guys are call HEMORRHOIDS. They itch, they bleed, they burn, because unlike the other varicose veins on the body, they are constantly having more pressure put on them every time you use the bathroom and then they are being abraded by wiping. Not cool at all. These are also very common in pregnancy, especially in late pregnancy since the baby is low and putting pressure on the vagina and rectum. Thankfully, for me, these particular varicose veins only started showing up a few weeks ago. But I'm hoping almost all of these different kinds of varicose veins go away soon after I deliver. Which is just another reason I really, really want to have this baby soon.
Of course, if I do go into labor in the next week, I'm not going to have my OB with me. She is currently enjoying her honeymoon in Maui. So I guess there is good reason for me to just hang on, not try any of those "old wives' tales" about self-inducing labor, and just ride it out until my next appointment, which is next Friday. But the temptation is definitely there. We'll see what the next week or so has to offer.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
My bellybutton obsession
I have a bellybutton obsession. It isn't creepy or anything; I'm obsessed with my own, not with somebody else's.
I am not a fan of "outie" bellybuttons. I've never liked them. Most people have "innies"; to me, an outie is a mistake that the doctor made when the cord was cut. When you see girls with crop-top t-shirts, they're always girls with innies. When you see someone showing off a belly ring, it's always someone with an innie (can you even pierce an outie?). Innies are cute; they collect lint like a bellybutton is supposed to, and you can hide or show off an innie as you feel is appropriate. An outie is going to show regardless of almost any t-shirt that you wear. It's hard to hide an outie.
Pregnant women are notorious for their outies. It isn't their fault; as the baby gets bigger, it puts pressure on all the internal organs and structures, and stretches the skin on the abdomen. For many pregnant women, this results at some point in the pregnancy with the outie making its appearance. For small, thin women, the preggers outie may show up early, maybe even as early as 4-5 months. For bigger women, who have some fat padding in their abdomens, the preggers outie may not show up until later in the pregnancy. But the outie is definitely associated with pregnancy, and is expected. In much of the literature, one can find references to the outie bellybutton as being like the internal thermometer that comes with a frozen turkey or roast, the kind that pops out when the meat is the correct temperature on the inside. For many pregnant women, then the bellybutton pops, the kid is done.
I've been lucky. I'm all the way at 38 weeks now, could deliver any moment, and my bellybutton has yet to pop. But it's distressingly close. It's hanging on by a thread, so to speak. If I'm laying down on my side, there's more room available, and my bellybutton retreats to a much better depth. But when I'm upright and the baby, who has dropped considerably in these late weeks, is putting pressure on my lower abdomen, my bellybutton is hardly a concave spot on my stomach. It's almost flat. I've joked that if it gets any closer to being an outie, I'm going to take a grape and a bandaid and make sure that it doesn't. I don't think I'd go that far, but I definitely don't want an outie. Not that I'm even showing my bellybutton off for any reason; I just don't want one. God and the doctor graced me with an innie, and that's how I want it to stay. But I don't know how much longer it can hang on...
I am not a fan of "outie" bellybuttons. I've never liked them. Most people have "innies"; to me, an outie is a mistake that the doctor made when the cord was cut. When you see girls with crop-top t-shirts, they're always girls with innies. When you see someone showing off a belly ring, it's always someone with an innie (can you even pierce an outie?). Innies are cute; they collect lint like a bellybutton is supposed to, and you can hide or show off an innie as you feel is appropriate. An outie is going to show regardless of almost any t-shirt that you wear. It's hard to hide an outie.
Pregnant women are notorious for their outies. It isn't their fault; as the baby gets bigger, it puts pressure on all the internal organs and structures, and stretches the skin on the abdomen. For many pregnant women, this results at some point in the pregnancy with the outie making its appearance. For small, thin women, the preggers outie may show up early, maybe even as early as 4-5 months. For bigger women, who have some fat padding in their abdomens, the preggers outie may not show up until later in the pregnancy. But the outie is definitely associated with pregnancy, and is expected. In much of the literature, one can find references to the outie bellybutton as being like the internal thermometer that comes with a frozen turkey or roast, the kind that pops out when the meat is the correct temperature on the inside. For many pregnant women, then the bellybutton pops, the kid is done.
I've been lucky. I'm all the way at 38 weeks now, could deliver any moment, and my bellybutton has yet to pop. But it's distressingly close. It's hanging on by a thread, so to speak. If I'm laying down on my side, there's more room available, and my bellybutton retreats to a much better depth. But when I'm upright and the baby, who has dropped considerably in these late weeks, is putting pressure on my lower abdomen, my bellybutton is hardly a concave spot on my stomach. It's almost flat. I've joked that if it gets any closer to being an outie, I'm going to take a grape and a bandaid and make sure that it doesn't. I don't think I'd go that far, but I definitely don't want an outie. Not that I'm even showing my bellybutton off for any reason; I just don't want one. God and the doctor graced me with an innie, and that's how I want it to stay. But I don't know how much longer it can hang on...
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How sweet it is?
You know, yesterday I was feeling really positive about everything (except for the fact that I'm mentally ready to have this kid and apparently he isn't ready to come out yet). But today's a whole different day, and now I'm starting to have my doubts.
I was conversing with someone on Facebook about the baby and how big he's going to be, and feeling pretty proud of myself for having avoided the whole "high blood pressure" thing. Then another friend, who is an EMT, joined the conversation. He asked if I had considered the possibility that I might have gestational diabetes. At first I dismissed his comment; after all, I passed my glucose tolerance test, and there's been no mention of anything like that from my OB ever since. So I really didn't think much about it at first. But he planted a seed in my head, and I did finally start to think about it. I looked up the symptoms of gestational diabetes, and it made me start to wonder. I have had a major sweet tooth during the course of this pregnancy, eating a lot more desserts, candy, and generally sugary stuff than I did before I got pregnant (not that I didn't crave the stuff before, I just didn't eat as much of it). I have gained way more weight than I wanted to, and more than is recommended for a woman who is already overweight. For someone who is overweight, they recommend not gaining more than 20-25 lbs. I've gained 40. I do drink a lot of liquids and pee quite frequently. It's hard to use that as a gauge, since I'm intentionally drinking a lot due to my blood pressure, and peeing a lot as a result of that and as a result of the baby having dropped a bit. The baby's size could be related to that as well, since moms with gestational diabetes tend to have very big babies. But of course we can explain that as well, since big babies run in my husband's family (he was almost 9 lbs, his sister was over 9, his dad and his aunt were about 10). Anyway, I just don't know now. Can someone develop gestational diabetes AFTER the glucose tolerance test?
Then I got to doubting other things as well. I'm feeling pretty rough today, very tired and kind of sore. My thighs are really sore, almost like I worked out a couple days ago or something, making it hard to get up off the couch. Also, I'm having a lot of vaginal/groin pain today. Of course, that could be because my OB checked my cervix yesterday at my appointment, which means she had to stick a lot more of her hand up there than is comfortable (of course, NO hand would be the most comfortable). So it could just be that things got stretched out a bit when she checked me. And it could also just be that the added pressure of the baby's head down there is causing the pain, since he's dropped over the past couple of weeks. Last night I was also feeling a little crampy in my lower abdomen. I have no idea what that might indicate. But when I mentioned it to my husband, he half-jokingly said, "You aren't in labor, are you?" And that got me wondering, how will I know for sure when I'm going into labor? I mean, I would think/hope that it would be really obvious when I start having contractions. I'm assuming that they should be significantly different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I've already been having (which have gotten noticeably stronger in the past couple weeks). But really, how can I tell? Maybe it's just a backache. Maybe it's just cramps. Maybe it's just a slight change in the practice contractions. But maybe it isn't. I don't want to be one of those women who overreacts and rushes to the birth center, only to be sent home by the (possibly) snickering nurses because I'm not in labor. But I also don't want to wait too long and have the kid in the car on the way to the hospital, either. So how am I supposed to know?
All this not-knowing is really annoying.
I was conversing with someone on Facebook about the baby and how big he's going to be, and feeling pretty proud of myself for having avoided the whole "high blood pressure" thing. Then another friend, who is an EMT, joined the conversation. He asked if I had considered the possibility that I might have gestational diabetes. At first I dismissed his comment; after all, I passed my glucose tolerance test, and there's been no mention of anything like that from my OB ever since. So I really didn't think much about it at first. But he planted a seed in my head, and I did finally start to think about it. I looked up the symptoms of gestational diabetes, and it made me start to wonder. I have had a major sweet tooth during the course of this pregnancy, eating a lot more desserts, candy, and generally sugary stuff than I did before I got pregnant (not that I didn't crave the stuff before, I just didn't eat as much of it). I have gained way more weight than I wanted to, and more than is recommended for a woman who is already overweight. For someone who is overweight, they recommend not gaining more than 20-25 lbs. I've gained 40. I do drink a lot of liquids and pee quite frequently. It's hard to use that as a gauge, since I'm intentionally drinking a lot due to my blood pressure, and peeing a lot as a result of that and as a result of the baby having dropped a bit. The baby's size could be related to that as well, since moms with gestational diabetes tend to have very big babies. But of course we can explain that as well, since big babies run in my husband's family (he was almost 9 lbs, his sister was over 9, his dad and his aunt were about 10). Anyway, I just don't know now. Can someone develop gestational diabetes AFTER the glucose tolerance test?
Then I got to doubting other things as well. I'm feeling pretty rough today, very tired and kind of sore. My thighs are really sore, almost like I worked out a couple days ago or something, making it hard to get up off the couch. Also, I'm having a lot of vaginal/groin pain today. Of course, that could be because my OB checked my cervix yesterday at my appointment, which means she had to stick a lot more of her hand up there than is comfortable (of course, NO hand would be the most comfortable). So it could just be that things got stretched out a bit when she checked me. And it could also just be that the added pressure of the baby's head down there is causing the pain, since he's dropped over the past couple of weeks. Last night I was also feeling a little crampy in my lower abdomen. I have no idea what that might indicate. But when I mentioned it to my husband, he half-jokingly said, "You aren't in labor, are you?" And that got me wondering, how will I know for sure when I'm going into labor? I mean, I would think/hope that it would be really obvious when I start having contractions. I'm assuming that they should be significantly different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I've already been having (which have gotten noticeably stronger in the past couple weeks). But really, how can I tell? Maybe it's just a backache. Maybe it's just cramps. Maybe it's just a slight change in the practice contractions. But maybe it isn't. I don't want to be one of those women who overreacts and rushes to the birth center, only to be sent home by the (possibly) snickering nurses because I'm not in labor. But I also don't want to wait too long and have the kid in the car on the way to the hospital, either. So how am I supposed to know?
All this not-knowing is really annoying.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Ready to pop
I'm 37 weeks (and 2 days) today. Had my checkup this morning, and the doctor was super-pleased that my blood pressure continues to be a non-issue. She said she was sure I'd be having problems with pre-eclampsia by now. Instead, nothing! Spud continues to grow--my OB estimated that he's about 8 lbs NOW (to say nothing of what he might be in three weeks) and probably about 21 or 22 inches long. So he's tall, not wide. That's probably a good thing as far as delivery is concerned. She reiterated that, if he gets really big, she may have to do a "vaginal bypass" (c-section), but that it may not be a problem because I have "good hips". I think that means I'm not a petite flower. :/ Oh well!
My Group B strep test turns out to also be a non-issue--I'm negative, which means no antibiotics needed during my delivery. The fewer IVs and needles I'm exposed to, the better. So that's also good news!
I continue to be disappointed by the fact that, although Brendan has dropped into his "starting" position, I'm not dilated at all. Cervix closed. My OB was still upbeat about it: she said, "You know, very soon your cervix will realize it's fighting a losing battle and just give it up." I think that means that, with continued pressure from Brendan's head, my cervix will realize it's time to boogey and start to efface. Hopefully that's what she meant! Anyway, she said I should expect to start feeling the occasional contraction (as opposed to those stupid Braxton Hicks contractions that I will be so happy to be done with) soon. Fingers crossed. I'm really ready to get this show on the road. There's still lots to do in the house to get ready, but I'm definitely anxious to have him here (and to start sleeping on my tummy again).
My Group B strep test turns out to also be a non-issue--I'm negative, which means no antibiotics needed during my delivery. The fewer IVs and needles I'm exposed to, the better. So that's also good news!
I continue to be disappointed by the fact that, although Brendan has dropped into his "starting" position, I'm not dilated at all. Cervix closed. My OB was still upbeat about it: she said, "You know, very soon your cervix will realize it's fighting a losing battle and just give it up." I think that means that, with continued pressure from Brendan's head, my cervix will realize it's time to boogey and start to efface. Hopefully that's what she meant! Anyway, she said I should expect to start feeling the occasional contraction (as opposed to those stupid Braxton Hicks contractions that I will be so happy to be done with) soon. Fingers crossed. I'm really ready to get this show on the road. There's still lots to do in the house to get ready, but I'm definitely anxious to have him here (and to start sleeping on my tummy again).
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Still cooking
Had my 36-week checkup yesterday, and things are still looking good. My blood pressure, which was high last week, was back down in the acceptable range yesterday, so my fears that the doctor might go ahead and schedule my delivery early due to preeclampsia are assuaged, at least this week. Still not dilating or anything, but the baby has dropped some, so there's a least a little progress towards the ultimate end. I am getting pretty ready to have this little man, though. This has been an extremely easy pregnancy, all things considered, but now that I'm in the last few weeks, I'm getting really tired and uncomfortable. I've gained a lot of weight (I was 242 yesterday, which is 17 lbs more than my highest weight ever), and it's making it hard to get around. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt...you get the picture. I'm short-changing the poor dog on his walks because I just don't feel like walking that far. I go back to sleep in the mornings after walking the dog and having breakfast, and I can sleep anywhere from an extra hour to three extra hours. I have so much I need to be doing in the house to make sure everything is ready for the baby, but instead I stay on the couch all day and pretty much don't do anything. So I'm definitely ready to be done and have Brendan here so I can snuggle him and cuddle him. It's pretty exciting and pretty scary all at the same time. So stay tuned, because we've only got a few weeks left, one way or another...
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My "to do" list is as big as my belly
36 weeks pregnant. Wow. I can't believe I'm this close to the end of all this (and the beginning of the rest of my life, as a mom). Heck, I could be even closer than I think. If my bp is high when I go in for my checkup this Wednesday, I suppose it's possible they could go ahead and schedule the birth (induction? c-section? I have no idea what they'd do) as soon as I hit 37 weeks (Saturday) so my bp doesn't cause any problems. Technically that would still be full-term. So I could conceivably (see what I did there?) have a baby in a week from now. Holy crap.
Not sure I'm mentally ready for this yet, and definitely sure I don't have the house ready yet! Thankfully my husband installed the car seat bases in our vehicles today, so we're ready to go as far as that's concerned, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Let's see...
-hang curtains in nursery (At least the curtains are made; thank goodness for my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law!)
-wash all linens and baby clothes (This is an on-going process; I've already started but I've got plenty left to wash.)
-store any clothes and other items we won't need (I inherited some girl baby clothes, which of course we won't need right now, and there are probably some toys and things that are a little too old for the baby at this point. I need to get some storage tubs to put everything in. Guess a trip to Target is in order.)
-clean out closet in nursery (The closet has been a catchall until this point, but we'll need to put baby things in there, so I need to transfer everything else to another closet or somewhere else in the house.(
-finish setting up the crib (There are a couple screws missing that hold part of the side of the crib together, so I need to go pick those up. Also, I need to put in the linens that I will be using, the dust ruffle, and things of that nature.)
-set up the changing table (We inherited the changing table that my husband had been changed on as a baby. It has been hosed off, but I think I need to pick up a new pad for it.)
-move the matching shelves into the closet (I need to hose these off first and let them dry. I think I'll use them for clothes and linens for now. Eventually there will be toys and books on them too.)
-put away the baby clothes (I'll have to hold off on this until we get the dresser that belongs to our twin bed set in the nursery. My in-laws are still using it, and will bring it up to us in a few weeks.)
-go through the "baby checklists" I have to see what we still need (I know we need diapers and all that stuff, and I should probably get some baby bottles so I can use the breast pump I have and let my husband share in the fun of feeding.)
I'm sure there are many more items I'm just not thinking of right now, but obviously I've got a lot of work to do to make sure we're ready for this baby, whenever he shows up. Unfortunately, now that I have so much work to do, I'm the least inclined to do it. People keep talking about the "nesting instinct", where women and animals are compelled to prepare the house for the baby's arrival. I either don't have a nesting instinct, or it is seriously overwhelmed by the "lazy butt" instinct I have, that compels me to sit on the couch and not do anything.
Not sure I'm mentally ready for this yet, and definitely sure I don't have the house ready yet! Thankfully my husband installed the car seat bases in our vehicles today, so we're ready to go as far as that's concerned, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Let's see...
-hang curtains in nursery (At least the curtains are made; thank goodness for my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law!)
-wash all linens and baby clothes (This is an on-going process; I've already started but I've got plenty left to wash.)
-store any clothes and other items we won't need (I inherited some girl baby clothes, which of course we won't need right now, and there are probably some toys and things that are a little too old for the baby at this point. I need to get some storage tubs to put everything in. Guess a trip to Target is in order.)
-clean out closet in nursery (The closet has been a catchall until this point, but we'll need to put baby things in there, so I need to transfer everything else to another closet or somewhere else in the house.(
-finish setting up the crib (There are a couple screws missing that hold part of the side of the crib together, so I need to go pick those up. Also, I need to put in the linens that I will be using, the dust ruffle, and things of that nature.)
-set up the changing table (We inherited the changing table that my husband had been changed on as a baby. It has been hosed off, but I think I need to pick up a new pad for it.)
-move the matching shelves into the closet (I need to hose these off first and let them dry. I think I'll use them for clothes and linens for now. Eventually there will be toys and books on them too.)
-put away the baby clothes (I'll have to hold off on this until we get the dresser that belongs to our twin bed set in the nursery. My in-laws are still using it, and will bring it up to us in a few weeks.)
-go through the "baby checklists" I have to see what we still need (I know we need diapers and all that stuff, and I should probably get some baby bottles so I can use the breast pump I have and let my husband share in the fun of feeding.)
I'm sure there are many more items I'm just not thinking of right now, but obviously I've got a lot of work to do to make sure we're ready for this baby, whenever he shows up. Unfortunately, now that I have so much work to do, I'm the least inclined to do it. People keep talking about the "nesting instinct", where women and animals are compelled to prepare the house for the baby's arrival. I either don't have a nesting instinct, or it is seriously overwhelmed by the "lazy butt" instinct I have, that compels me to sit on the couch and not do anything.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Under pressure
Had my 35-week check-up today (and the group B strep test; nothing like getting to know a Q-tip really well). My blood pressure has finally reached the point where it warrants a little concern. Now, that doesn't mean it's particularly bad; it was only 140/90 at the beginning of my appointment and came down to 120/70 by the end of my appointment, and there was no protein showing up in my urine. But that 140/90 is the cut-off point, where women who DON'T have hypertension need to start being concerned about preeclampsia. Since I have high blood pressure anyway, my cut-off point would be a little higher, but this is a good alert level for me. I've already been checking my blood pressure several times each week; clearly it's time to monitor it daily. Otherwise, my doctor didn't suggest that I need to be doing anything beyond what I'm already doing. I need to stay off my feet as much as possible (to prevent swelling), check my bp regularly, drink lots of water, and make sure there aren't any other symptoms that show up.
Beyond my blood pressure, everything has been going very well. I haven't had any bleeding or contractions (other than those darned Braxton Hicks contractions). The baby is still very active. I'm definitely having more trouble getting around and being more short of breath than I was, but none of it has been more than just an inconvenience. Thankfully, my issues sleeping with my husband don't seem to be a regular problem; it's really only if I'm have significant trouble sleeping anyway. As long as I can just hang on for two more weeks, I'll technically be "full-term", so if my blood pressure does cause trouble for me, they can induce me or do a c-section (whatever is most common for preeclampsia) without being too worried about the baby's development.
So, fingers are crossed that everything continues to go as smoothly as possible. I'm getting close to the end...there's still so much that needs to be done! The nursery is not finished yet--there's plenty of furniture that still needs to be put in place, the girl clothes we inherited need to be stored somewhere, the bedding and boy clothes need to be washed and put away, and we need to accumulate all the diapers, bottles, and assorted supplies that we'll need when the little spud shows up. Let the countdown begin...
Beyond my blood pressure, everything has been going very well. I haven't had any bleeding or contractions (other than those darned Braxton Hicks contractions). The baby is still very active. I'm definitely having more trouble getting around and being more short of breath than I was, but none of it has been more than just an inconvenience. Thankfully, my issues sleeping with my husband don't seem to be a regular problem; it's really only if I'm have significant trouble sleeping anyway. As long as I can just hang on for two more weeks, I'll technically be "full-term", so if my blood pressure does cause trouble for me, they can induce me or do a c-section (whatever is most common for preeclampsia) without being too worried about the baby's development.
So, fingers are crossed that everything continues to go as smoothly as possible. I'm getting close to the end...there's still so much that needs to be done! The nursery is not finished yet--there's plenty of furniture that still needs to be put in place, the girl clothes we inherited need to be stored somewhere, the bedding and boy clothes need to be washed and put away, and we need to accumulate all the diapers, bottles, and assorted supplies that we'll need when the little spud shows up. Let the countdown begin...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
To sleep, perchance to dream about sleeping
I came to a realization last night that dismayed and saddened me a bit. This realization came after my husband had been gone for a week for business. The realization was this: for the first time in the eleven years we've been married, and the three + years prior to that we were friends, I slept better when my husband was gone.
This has never happened before. He has always been my safety blanket. Without him in the bed with me, I'm generally restless. Strange noises wake me up, and I have difficulty getting back to sleep. His presence is comforting to me, and I'm always relieved when he comes home again.
But now that I'm in the home stretch of my pregnancy, I'm having a ridiculously difficult time sleeping. I have two positions that are almost comfortable, sleeping on one side or the other, and that's it. I usually need to prop myself up partway with a pillow or two and hope for the best. I change positions a lot, because I'm only comfortable lying on my side for a few minutes. Then my hip and leg start to hurt, like a pressure sore, and so I roll over. And then there's the need to go to the bathroom. I generally get about an hour between potty breaks, so it means I have a limited amount of time to get to sleep and get some rest before I'm up again.
The two things that I noticed when my husband was gone were that I was able to spread out in bed a little bit, and that there wasn't any snoring. While he was gone I was able to put a body pillow, which takes up a lot of room, on one side of me, and the other, smaller pillow on the other side. That way I didn't need to wrestle the one pillow from one side to the other. I can't do this when he's here; I don't want to encroach on his side of the bed, and I like to be able to reach over and know that he's there. I can't do that with the pillow in the way. The other issue is the snoring. Both of us snore (although I don't think I have had much time to snore these days). Unfortunately, since I'm having trouble getting to sleep in the short amount of time I have between bathroom visits, the snoring is making it harder to get to sleep.
So, while I was sad and lonely while my husband was gone, I realized I slept a little bit better while he was gone, because I could spread out on the pillows a little better, and it was a little quieter so I had a better chance of falling to sleep.
Just one more reason I'm going to be happy to have this baby: I can have my relationship with my husband back like it's supposed to be.
This has never happened before. He has always been my safety blanket. Without him in the bed with me, I'm generally restless. Strange noises wake me up, and I have difficulty getting back to sleep. His presence is comforting to me, and I'm always relieved when he comes home again.
But now that I'm in the home stretch of my pregnancy, I'm having a ridiculously difficult time sleeping. I have two positions that are almost comfortable, sleeping on one side or the other, and that's it. I usually need to prop myself up partway with a pillow or two and hope for the best. I change positions a lot, because I'm only comfortable lying on my side for a few minutes. Then my hip and leg start to hurt, like a pressure sore, and so I roll over. And then there's the need to go to the bathroom. I generally get about an hour between potty breaks, so it means I have a limited amount of time to get to sleep and get some rest before I'm up again.
The two things that I noticed when my husband was gone were that I was able to spread out in bed a little bit, and that there wasn't any snoring. While he was gone I was able to put a body pillow, which takes up a lot of room, on one side of me, and the other, smaller pillow on the other side. That way I didn't need to wrestle the one pillow from one side to the other. I can't do this when he's here; I don't want to encroach on his side of the bed, and I like to be able to reach over and know that he's there. I can't do that with the pillow in the way. The other issue is the snoring. Both of us snore (although I don't think I have had much time to snore these days). Unfortunately, since I'm having trouble getting to sleep in the short amount of time I have between bathroom visits, the snoring is making it harder to get to sleep.
So, while I was sad and lonely while my husband was gone, I realized I slept a little bit better while he was gone, because I could spread out on the pillows a little better, and it was a little quieter so I had a better chance of falling to sleep.
Just one more reason I'm going to be happy to have this baby: I can have my relationship with my husband back like it's supposed to be.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Feeling...lonely...
I'm in the midst of my 32nd week of pregnancy. Hard to believe that I only have 7 1/2 weeks to go until my due day.
I'm measuring big, which has been going on for weeks now, but I measure BIGGER each time. When I was 28 weeks, I measured 30. When I was 30 weeks, I measured 34. At 32 weeks, I measured 40! Between my last visit and the one this past Monday, I gained 7 lbs. That's definitely not good. One of the signs of pre-eclampsia is sudden weight gain, and I'm at risk of pre-eclampsia because of my hypertension. So I'm a bit concerned. I need to be careful, and make sure that my blood pressure is staying under control and that I'm taking in enough fluids. I've noticed the last couple of days I've had a little bit of a headache off and on, hardly enough to pay attention to, but it can also be a sign of possible pre-eclampsia. So hopefully everything continues to go well, but I need to step up my game and be really aware of my blood pressure and how I'm feeling. I'm starting to document my blood pressure each day, and if it reaches 150/100 (which I haven't been particularly close to) I need to go in and get re-evaluated.
With that being said, I feel like I'm in a bit of a precarious position this week. I am by myself, because my husband got sent out of town for the week for work. My in-laws, who live five hours south of here, are also out of town until this weekend. We really haven't met a lot of people in the year that we've lived here. So it occurred to me that if something were to happen to me, something that medically required me to be hospitalized, I wouldn't have anyone here with me. Oh sure, I could call my dad, and I'm sure he'd be here as quickly as he could, but he certainly couldn't be here within the same day, to check up on me or take care of the dogs (since we've got our dog and are also watching our in-laws' dog for the week). I could probably prevail upon my next-door-neighbors to check on the dog and walk him, but we don't know them very well (as a matter of fact, I'm not entirely sure what their names are). We've got two families that we did a Bible study with during the spring, and I'm pretty sure I could call them, but again, we don't really know them very well. I've got an acquaintance from college who lives in Billings with his family, and I think in a pinch I could contact him. But we don't have any relatives here, we don't have any close friends here, and I'd be relying on people that we don't know well. That's kind of a frightening concept, that we're isolated like that.
Anyway, fingers are crossed that nothing will happen, and my husband will be home in two more days. But it does make me think, and worry. Just one more thing to worry about, I guess...
I'm measuring big, which has been going on for weeks now, but I measure BIGGER each time. When I was 28 weeks, I measured 30. When I was 30 weeks, I measured 34. At 32 weeks, I measured 40! Between my last visit and the one this past Monday, I gained 7 lbs. That's definitely not good. One of the signs of pre-eclampsia is sudden weight gain, and I'm at risk of pre-eclampsia because of my hypertension. So I'm a bit concerned. I need to be careful, and make sure that my blood pressure is staying under control and that I'm taking in enough fluids. I've noticed the last couple of days I've had a little bit of a headache off and on, hardly enough to pay attention to, but it can also be a sign of possible pre-eclampsia. So hopefully everything continues to go well, but I need to step up my game and be really aware of my blood pressure and how I'm feeling. I'm starting to document my blood pressure each day, and if it reaches 150/100 (which I haven't been particularly close to) I need to go in and get re-evaluated.
With that being said, I feel like I'm in a bit of a precarious position this week. I am by myself, because my husband got sent out of town for the week for work. My in-laws, who live five hours south of here, are also out of town until this weekend. We really haven't met a lot of people in the year that we've lived here. So it occurred to me that if something were to happen to me, something that medically required me to be hospitalized, I wouldn't have anyone here with me. Oh sure, I could call my dad, and I'm sure he'd be here as quickly as he could, but he certainly couldn't be here within the same day, to check up on me or take care of the dogs (since we've got our dog and are also watching our in-laws' dog for the week). I could probably prevail upon my next-door-neighbors to check on the dog and walk him, but we don't know them very well (as a matter of fact, I'm not entirely sure what their names are). We've got two families that we did a Bible study with during the spring, and I'm pretty sure I could call them, but again, we don't really know them very well. I've got an acquaintance from college who lives in Billings with his family, and I think in a pinch I could contact him. But we don't have any relatives here, we don't have any close friends here, and I'd be relying on people that we don't know well. That's kind of a frightening concept, that we're isolated like that.
Anyway, fingers are crossed that nothing will happen, and my husband will be home in two more days. But it does make me think, and worry. Just one more thing to worry about, I guess...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black
I'm starting to wonder if we've made some mistakes. As happy as I am that we moved from the South, and as happy as I am to be pregnant, financially this is turning into a disaster. My failure to find fulltime employment has put us in a serious hole, monetarily speaking. And now that the situation is getting pretty dire, I'm at the point in my pregnancy where no one in their right mind would hire me. I mean, who wants someone who can work for a maximum of two months. I'm two days away from 32 weeks pregnant, and there's simply no way to predict when I might deliver. So really, it's likely that 6 weeks of working is about as good as it's going to get. I'm still on the sub list for the local school districts, but subbing is unpredictable. I might get called for a job; I might not. I think I made a mistake in the schools I "re-upped" with for subbing. The district that called me most often last year I told that I would not be returning this fall because of the pregnancy. That was partly true, but mainly I told them this because the kids were HORRIBLE. I only subbed there a few times, despite the fact that they called me more often than anywhere else, because the kids were HORRIBLE. I didn't want to deal with that again. Now I'm starting to wish I had just sucked it up and told them I'd be back. I don't expect I'll be getting a lot of calls to sub just yet, since school just started this week. I haven't managed to get on the schedule to tutor either. So I'm pretty much f*cked. I feel like the biggest failure EVER. All I ever wanted to do was teach. Now I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get to teach my own classroom again. I just don't know what to do.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Craving cravings
Here I am at 30 weeks (plus a couple days). I'm a little surprised I haven't gained more weight--I weighed myself yesterday morning and was a 227.4. That means I haven't gained any weight in the past two weeks or so. Surprising, especially since I feel like a whale. I'm much more conscious of my size and much more aware of my stomach getting in the way of things like clipping my toenails and drying my legs when I get out of the shower. I feel like I'm waddling a lot more, and I'm having a lot more trouble sleeping comfortably and a lot more heartburn (which is surprising since I take Prilosec regularly for heartburn anyway). I'm definitely glad I'm getting close to the end, although this has been a really easy ride so far. I'm sure I'm getting off a lot lighter than a lot of other women.
There are a couple of observations I've made that I find interesting. While I don't think I've had any true cravings--nothing I've suddenly sat up and said "I must have this NOW"--I have noticed that I've been eating a lot more fruit and drinking a lot more fruit juice than I used to. This is certainly a good thing. But there hasn't been once particular fruit that I've craved. I've eaten a lot of bananas, plums, cherries, strawberries, grapes, and watermelon, in no particular order. I also have noticed that I've wanted cold sweets, namely ice cream and popsicles. I've stopped more than once at Dairy Queen and gotten an ice cream cone, which is a rarity for me otherwise (not that I don't like DQ, but it isn't the sort of thing I would normally have done, pre-pregnancy). While there's a "wives tale" about craving sweets meaning one is having a girl, I find lots and lots of people on these pregnancy sites and other forums saying that they had craved sweets, and had boys. And I am pretty sure, with the photo we got during our ultrasound, that we ARE having a boy.
The other thing I've found interesting is the one thing that has made me feel sick, after the initial morning sickness that is. And that one thing is...beef. Now, this seems completely crazy to me, because I am a steak LOVER. Normally, few things make me happier than a rare steak. And I always like a good hamburger. But there have been a few times during the pregnancy that I have found myself feeling like I was right on the verge of barfing. And each one of those times, beef has been involved. A couple of times we've gotten hamburgers (once at McDonald's, and a couple of times at Fudrucker's) and I've had to pause while eating and stifle the urge to throw up. And we went out for steak at Texas Roadhouse and I got my usual (prime rib, rare), and again I had to slow WAY down and fight the feeling. I don't have any idea why the hamburgers and the steak would have had such an impact on me. The only time I've ever actually thrown up, the whole pregnancy, was early on, in the first trimester, and I ate a banana right after I got up and promptly yakked it back up. And the beef isn't ALWAYS a problem; I've also eaten steak and hamburger and felt just fine the whole time. But I haven't CRAVED red meat during the pregnancy, and that is VERY unusual for me. Under normal circumstances, I have steak cravings every few weeks. So maybe what's interesting about my pregnancy is not the cravings, but the LACK of cravings.
There are a couple of observations I've made that I find interesting. While I don't think I've had any true cravings--nothing I've suddenly sat up and said "I must have this NOW"--I have noticed that I've been eating a lot more fruit and drinking a lot more fruit juice than I used to. This is certainly a good thing. But there hasn't been once particular fruit that I've craved. I've eaten a lot of bananas, plums, cherries, strawberries, grapes, and watermelon, in no particular order. I also have noticed that I've wanted cold sweets, namely ice cream and popsicles. I've stopped more than once at Dairy Queen and gotten an ice cream cone, which is a rarity for me otherwise (not that I don't like DQ, but it isn't the sort of thing I would normally have done, pre-pregnancy). While there's a "wives tale" about craving sweets meaning one is having a girl, I find lots and lots of people on these pregnancy sites and other forums saying that they had craved sweets, and had boys. And I am pretty sure, with the photo we got during our ultrasound, that we ARE having a boy.
The other thing I've found interesting is the one thing that has made me feel sick, after the initial morning sickness that is. And that one thing is...beef. Now, this seems completely crazy to me, because I am a steak LOVER. Normally, few things make me happier than a rare steak. And I always like a good hamburger. But there have been a few times during the pregnancy that I have found myself feeling like I was right on the verge of barfing. And each one of those times, beef has been involved. A couple of times we've gotten hamburgers (once at McDonald's, and a couple of times at Fudrucker's) and I've had to pause while eating and stifle the urge to throw up. And we went out for steak at Texas Roadhouse and I got my usual (prime rib, rare), and again I had to slow WAY down and fight the feeling. I don't have any idea why the hamburgers and the steak would have had such an impact on me. The only time I've ever actually thrown up, the whole pregnancy, was early on, in the first trimester, and I ate a banana right after I got up and promptly yakked it back up. And the beef isn't ALWAYS a problem; I've also eaten steak and hamburger and felt just fine the whole time. But I haven't CRAVED red meat during the pregnancy, and that is VERY unusual for me. Under normal circumstances, I have steak cravings every few weeks. So maybe what's interesting about my pregnancy is not the cravings, but the LACK of cravings.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Anticipation is swelling
Man, my ankles are swollen! We went camping this weekend, and all the sitting in the car didn't help. I need to keep drinking water and such, but my ankles still stay swollen. Meh.
I'm 29 weeks now. I can't believe that I've only got eleven weeks to go. Time flies when you are having fun, I guess. I'm starting to develop that "pregnant lady waddle". My hips hurt quite a bit. I'm pretty sure it's the hormones that cause my ligaments to stretch, and that's why my hips are loosening up. I guess I need to try some stretches to improve my flexibility and make my joints feel better.
The baby is still kicking quite a bit, and I'm sure he's going to start getting fussier as he runs out of space in there. He's a wiggly little thing, for sure.
Well, time to put up my feet and drink some water. *sigh*
I'm 29 weeks now. I can't believe that I've only got eleven weeks to go. Time flies when you are having fun, I guess. I'm starting to develop that "pregnant lady waddle". My hips hurt quite a bit. I'm pretty sure it's the hormones that cause my ligaments to stretch, and that's why my hips are loosening up. I guess I need to try some stretches to improve my flexibility and make my joints feel better.
The baby is still kicking quite a bit, and I'm sure he's going to start getting fussier as he runs out of space in there. He's a wiggly little thing, for sure.
Well, time to put up my feet and drink some water. *sigh*
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Broke 'n' hip
Well, I had my last monthly OB appointment yesterday; my appointments will be every two weeks from now until the end of September and then they'll go weekly for that last month. So far, everything continues to go really well. I passed my glucose tolerance test, so no gestational diabetes for me, and my iron level is staying high, so hopefully I'm done with the blood drawing for a while. I am measuring a little big for 27 weeks, but I'm not surprised, since my husband was a larger baby (close to 9 lbs) and comes from a family of large babies. Of course, it could indicate that my pregnancy is further along than we originally thought (although I don't really know how because I did document when my period was in January), and so it's possible that I will be delivering earlier than October 23. We'll just have to wait and see how everything works out.
I did have a couple of complaints to bring up at my appointment. One wasn't really a complaint; it was just that I've started noticing the Braxton Hicks contractions, and they are kind of annoying. But my main complaints have to do with my hips. Since early on in the pregnancy, I have been very very uncomfortable in bed. Since I can't sleep on my stomach or my back, I'm left rolling from side to side and sleeping on my hips and shoulders. We have a very firm mattress, and it's not really made for side-sleeping. Because of this, my shoulders hurt, and I'm getting what feel like pressure sores on my hips. I thought that a memory foam mattress topper might improve things, but after putting a nice 3-inch one on the bed, I'm not feeling a significant improvement, and I don't really like how soft it makes the bed (and my husband doesn't either). The only suggestions for improvement I'm getting from my friends who have gone through the same thing are various pillow placements. I asked the doctor the same thing, and that's exactly what she said. I need to just pack myself in with pillows and ride this out. Not happy. The other hip complaint seems to be a pinched nerve in my left hip. It manifests itself as a sharp pain just to the left of my tailbone, with pain crossing the top of my left butt cheek and difficulty putting weight on my left leg. My right leg occasionally hurts as well, but it's almost always my left leg. I don't know what causes this, but it's a problem I've had since long before I got pregnant. I used to be able to rock back on my tailbone and the back of my pelvis and something would *pop* and the pain would subside. If I couldn't get it to pop that way, I could lie on my stomach and have my husband stand over me and press down on my tailbone and pop it. But since I've been pregnant, the pain has been worse, and it won't go away. I can't get it to pop by rocking back on my pelvis, and of course I can't lie on my stomach so my husband can't try popping it either. No one seems to be familiar with this pain of my previously pregnant friends, and when I mentioned it to my doctor she suggested I see a chiropractor. I'm not sure if I want to put forth the money for something like that, but if it gets worse I may have to. I can still walk right now, but if it gets worse I may not be able to. We'll just have to wait and see.
While my hips are in pain, they are not broke. However, I am. Financially, we are in quite a pinch. With my not bringing in any money this summer (no tutoring and no subbing), we're really starting to hurt. I've interviewed three times for positions in the local schools, and I haven't gotten a position yet. At least twice I've gotten the impression that I was their second choice for the position; they told me if another position opened up to be sure to apply for that one as well. I'm very disappointed, while we weren't originally expecting my having a teaching position this fall, because I feel a little unwanted. I'm used to be the golden child; I was a popular teacher at my previous school, with both the students and the administration (wow, I sound so full of myself). It really makes me feel kind of low that they haven't hired me, even for a part time position. I'm working on the test for the first unit of my ASI indexing certification, but it's going to be quite a while before I can get an indexing job. And tutoring won't pick up until school starts up. So I just don't know what else to do. We really need money, and I'm not sure where we're going to get it.
I did have a couple of complaints to bring up at my appointment. One wasn't really a complaint; it was just that I've started noticing the Braxton Hicks contractions, and they are kind of annoying. But my main complaints have to do with my hips. Since early on in the pregnancy, I have been very very uncomfortable in bed. Since I can't sleep on my stomach or my back, I'm left rolling from side to side and sleeping on my hips and shoulders. We have a very firm mattress, and it's not really made for side-sleeping. Because of this, my shoulders hurt, and I'm getting what feel like pressure sores on my hips. I thought that a memory foam mattress topper might improve things, but after putting a nice 3-inch one on the bed, I'm not feeling a significant improvement, and I don't really like how soft it makes the bed (and my husband doesn't either). The only suggestions for improvement I'm getting from my friends who have gone through the same thing are various pillow placements. I asked the doctor the same thing, and that's exactly what she said. I need to just pack myself in with pillows and ride this out. Not happy. The other hip complaint seems to be a pinched nerve in my left hip. It manifests itself as a sharp pain just to the left of my tailbone, with pain crossing the top of my left butt cheek and difficulty putting weight on my left leg. My right leg occasionally hurts as well, but it's almost always my left leg. I don't know what causes this, but it's a problem I've had since long before I got pregnant. I used to be able to rock back on my tailbone and the back of my pelvis and something would *pop* and the pain would subside. If I couldn't get it to pop that way, I could lie on my stomach and have my husband stand over me and press down on my tailbone and pop it. But since I've been pregnant, the pain has been worse, and it won't go away. I can't get it to pop by rocking back on my pelvis, and of course I can't lie on my stomach so my husband can't try popping it either. No one seems to be familiar with this pain of my previously pregnant friends, and when I mentioned it to my doctor she suggested I see a chiropractor. I'm not sure if I want to put forth the money for something like that, but if it gets worse I may have to. I can still walk right now, but if it gets worse I may not be able to. We'll just have to wait and see.
While my hips are in pain, they are not broke. However, I am. Financially, we are in quite a pinch. With my not bringing in any money this summer (no tutoring and no subbing), we're really starting to hurt. I've interviewed three times for positions in the local schools, and I haven't gotten a position yet. At least twice I've gotten the impression that I was their second choice for the position; they told me if another position opened up to be sure to apply for that one as well. I'm very disappointed, while we weren't originally expecting my having a teaching position this fall, because I feel a little unwanted. I'm used to be the golden child; I was a popular teacher at my previous school, with both the students and the administration (wow, I sound so full of myself). It really makes me feel kind of low that they haven't hired me, even for a part time position. I'm working on the test for the first unit of my ASI indexing certification, but it's going to be quite a while before I can get an indexing job. And tutoring won't pick up until school starts up. So I just don't know what else to do. We really need money, and I'm not sure where we're going to get it.
Friday, July 16, 2010
In need of some support
At almost 26 weeks (tomorrow), I have come to the realization that the most important thing right now is not getting the nursery ready or getting a list together of the items that we still need. It's getting a *&^%$#@ bra that actually fits.
When I bought my first maternity clothes, I bought a nursing bra off the rack, without trying it on. Big mistake. I don't think the bra would have fit me even if I weren't pregnant. Then I ordered two "sleep" bras, which do fit and are quite comfortable, but they offer no support whatsoever. They really are designed just to keep the puppies reined in while I'm in bed.
The most obvious thing to do was to order bras online from a maternity clothing company, and to follow their sizing instructions to the letter. I measured my ribcage just below my breasts, and then measured my chest at the widest part. This particular company gave a place to input those numbers, and it specifically told me what size to get. How helpful. I ordered two underwire support bras for day-to-day wear, since that's what I usually wear, and two sports bra-style bras that were less supportive but supposed to be pretty comfortable.
Well, I don't know where this company came up with their equation, but it didn't work. The sports bras barely fit; while they technically cover everything, the soft cups inside do not. What's weird about it is that my breasts kind of conform to the odd shape during the course of the day. At the bottom of the bra, where my excess boobage sort of escapes from the cups, they take on this weird flat shape that has a slightly different texture than the rest of the breast. I guess this is from the milk ducts and glands that are in the process of forming. But it's weird. And the underwire bras don't fit at all. I'm at least one full cup size bigger, probably more like two full cup sizes. And it isn't that my breasts have grown since I measured them; they are just too darned small.
So out of the seven maternity bras I have purchased, two of them fit well but cannot be used during the day, two of them fit somewhat but leave me rather lumpy and kind of uncomfortable, and three don't fit at all. The good news in all this is that I'm pretty sure if I go up a couple cup sizes, I'll find something that fits. But now of course I'm concerned that if I order something now, at six months along, it may not fit in three more months. I'm already big as a cow (at least it feels that way); how much more am I going to grow in three months?
When I bought my first maternity clothes, I bought a nursing bra off the rack, without trying it on. Big mistake. I don't think the bra would have fit me even if I weren't pregnant. Then I ordered two "sleep" bras, which do fit and are quite comfortable, but they offer no support whatsoever. They really are designed just to keep the puppies reined in while I'm in bed.
The most obvious thing to do was to order bras online from a maternity clothing company, and to follow their sizing instructions to the letter. I measured my ribcage just below my breasts, and then measured my chest at the widest part. This particular company gave a place to input those numbers, and it specifically told me what size to get. How helpful. I ordered two underwire support bras for day-to-day wear, since that's what I usually wear, and two sports bra-style bras that were less supportive but supposed to be pretty comfortable.
Well, I don't know where this company came up with their equation, but it didn't work. The sports bras barely fit; while they technically cover everything, the soft cups inside do not. What's weird about it is that my breasts kind of conform to the odd shape during the course of the day. At the bottom of the bra, where my excess boobage sort of escapes from the cups, they take on this weird flat shape that has a slightly different texture than the rest of the breast. I guess this is from the milk ducts and glands that are in the process of forming. But it's weird. And the underwire bras don't fit at all. I'm at least one full cup size bigger, probably more like two full cup sizes. And it isn't that my breasts have grown since I measured them; they are just too darned small.
So out of the seven maternity bras I have purchased, two of them fit well but cannot be used during the day, two of them fit somewhat but leave me rather lumpy and kind of uncomfortable, and three don't fit at all. The good news in all this is that I'm pretty sure if I go up a couple cup sizes, I'll find something that fits. But now of course I'm concerned that if I order something now, at six months along, it may not fit in three more months. I'm already big as a cow (at least it feels that way); how much more am I going to grow in three months?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Boy, won't this be fun!
Well, I had my ultrasound a couple weeks ago, and we found out we're having a boy! I know there's always a possibility the ultrasound tech got it wrong, but based on the picture she showed us, she's got good reason to think it's a boy (there's a pretty obvious pee-pee in the picture). As far as names go, we're still leaning towards Brendan James, which we had nailed down early. Girls' names are so much more challenging! Guess it's good we're having a boy!
Anyway, I scored big at my sister-in-law's house a few weeks ago. She was ready to unload a bunch of baby stuff she'd been holding for quite some time (my nieces are 7 and 9, and the youngest kid in the rest of the family is at least 3). She gave us a crib, a bassinet, a stroller, three car seats, a breast pump, a highchair/swing, and tons of toys, baby clothes, and assorted linens and things. Hopefully this will save us quite a bit of money in the long run.
I filled out a baby registry at Babies R Us the other day, and I had to put out a plea to my friends on Facebook who are parents, to see what I had missed. It was so overwhelming! I had no idea what to put on the list. I still have to go through a couple of boxes that my sister-in-law had given me, to see what I have vs. what I still need. But we're starting to prepare ourselves. We assembled the crib last night and got it set up in the bedroom we'll use for the baby.
So we're on our way! I'm 25 weeks pregnant right now, so I've got 15 weeks (or less) left. I'm still feeling really good, although I'm uncomfortable at night (I can only sleep on my sides, and my hips and shoulders hurt when I lay on them too long), and I'm getting bigger every day. Yowza!
Anyway, I scored big at my sister-in-law's house a few weeks ago. She was ready to unload a bunch of baby stuff she'd been holding for quite some time (my nieces are 7 and 9, and the youngest kid in the rest of the family is at least 3). She gave us a crib, a bassinet, a stroller, three car seats, a breast pump, a highchair/swing, and tons of toys, baby clothes, and assorted linens and things. Hopefully this will save us quite a bit of money in the long run.
I filled out a baby registry at Babies R Us the other day, and I had to put out a plea to my friends on Facebook who are parents, to see what I had missed. It was so overwhelming! I had no idea what to put on the list. I still have to go through a couple of boxes that my sister-in-law had given me, to see what I have vs. what I still need. But we're starting to prepare ourselves. We assembled the crib last night and got it set up in the bedroom we'll use for the baby.
So we're on our way! I'm 25 weeks pregnant right now, so I've got 15 weeks (or less) left. I'm still feeling really good, although I'm uncomfortable at night (I can only sleep on my sides, and my hips and shoulders hurt when I lay on them too long), and I'm getting bigger every day. Yowza!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Not much to report...still pregnant
At 20 weeks, there isn't much to report. I'm feeling a lot of fetal movement, and I finally felt external movement (I had my hand on my lower abdomen when the little spud kicked). It seems that everything is going well. I had to reschedule my ultrasound a week later (23 weeks instead of 22) because I'm going to St. Louis for two weeks to visit family. I need to get my traveling done now, while I still can. I'm sure when I hit the last trimester I won't feel like going anywhere.
We finally put the news out to the public. I've mentioned a few things on Facebook, and more and more people have commented that they think we'll be great parents. All my former students are very excited. Our family is very excited as well. My dad is back from Africa (thank goodness) and planning a visit in the middle of the summer. I hope everything continues to go smoothly. Haven't checked my bp recently, so I don't know if that's holding steady. The maternal fetal medicine doctor suggested I up my bp med dosage, which I have not done. Maybe I'll pick it up if it looks like my bp is going up. We'll see. I'm on a pretty low dosage now, according to him.
Well, anyway, just an update. Still pregnant.
We finally put the news out to the public. I've mentioned a few things on Facebook, and more and more people have commented that they think we'll be great parents. All my former students are very excited. Our family is very excited as well. My dad is back from Africa (thank goodness) and planning a visit in the middle of the summer. I hope everything continues to go smoothly. Haven't checked my bp recently, so I don't know if that's holding steady. The maternal fetal medicine doctor suggested I up my bp med dosage, which I have not done. Maybe I'll pick it up if it looks like my bp is going up. We'll see. I'm on a pretty low dosage now, according to him.
Well, anyway, just an update. Still pregnant.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
What's in a name?
There's a new list out of most popular babies' names. None of the names we're interested in are listed. We still haven't made any decisions. And we still don't know what we're having anyway. We just call the kid "spud" right now.
CNN Babies' Names
CNN Babies' Names
Friday, May 7, 2010
Everyone has a pregnancy story to tell
Funny article about "pregnancy gravitation" and how everyone has a pregnancy horror story that they feel bound to tell you...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Joy of Peeing
Today's weigh-in: 210.2
Not sure yet if I'm legitimately gaining weight, or if I'm just eating poorly. Between the chocolate chip cookies I baked, the birthday cake I made for my husband, and the wedding cake I had at a reception last night, surely it isn't just baby weight. I really need to get back to working out regularly. Probably my best bet at this point would be the walking workout videos I used to do with my coworkers. They're great for getting your heart rate up, but you can vary the intensity with which you workout. I just don't relish bouncing along on my elliptical machine. Boobs are still sore, you know.
We've let a few more people in on our secret. My husband has told a couple of his friends, and I've told three of my best friends, three former coworkers, and my aunt, uncle, and three cousins. Wow, I guess that's more than a few people! Not sure if my mother-in-law has told any other relatives, although I did give her permission to. We've successfully kept it off Facebook, which is great. I'd love to show up to the graduation at the high school where I used to teach and surprise the heck out of my former students.
I've had a couple of doctor's appointments. Had my basic checkup with the OB. She wanted me to meet with a maternal fetal medicine specialist regarding my blood pressure, since I take medication for it. Kind of anticlimactic, really; he decided to keep me on my medication and just keep an eye on my blood pressure. Hello? That's what I do anyway, pregnant or not.
Also had to do what they call a "24-hour urine". That's fancy-speak for peeing in a container for a whole day. They wanted to test my kidneys to make sure I didn't have any damage from years of high blood pressure. I had a little plastic cover for my toilet that my urine would collect in. I then had to take it and pour it into a big orange bottle. I had to keep the bottle in the refrigerator. Thankfully, we have a second fridge in our garage that doesn't really have anything in it. Ew. And I had to be careful to collect ALL my pee and not accidentally spill any (or accidentally collect any non-pee. Hard to remember to move the plastic cover to poo). I was very happy to take it back in to the lab.
But all my test results have come back good. The results from our ultrasound came back very good: our probabilities of genetic disorders are WAY below the average for my age group. Our likelihood of Downs is one in 331, and our likelihood of another chromosomal trisomy are one in 9,000. Pretty good odds, I'd say. The lab analyzed my pee and my blood and determined I had no abnormalities in my kidneys, and the doctor sent me a message that my pap smear (which she did during my checkup) was completely normal.
So I'm pretty hopeful that everything is progressing as it should. Still not feeling the baby kicking or anything yet; at least, I don't think so. I've felt a few little flutters down there, but those could easily be digestion-related. A couple more weeks and I should start feeling more stuff.
Not much else going on. I've got another check-up in May, and my second trimester ultrasound in June. Keep your fingers crossed!
Not sure yet if I'm legitimately gaining weight, or if I'm just eating poorly. Between the chocolate chip cookies I baked, the birthday cake I made for my husband, and the wedding cake I had at a reception last night, surely it isn't just baby weight. I really need to get back to working out regularly. Probably my best bet at this point would be the walking workout videos I used to do with my coworkers. They're great for getting your heart rate up, but you can vary the intensity with which you workout. I just don't relish bouncing along on my elliptical machine. Boobs are still sore, you know.
We've let a few more people in on our secret. My husband has told a couple of his friends, and I've told three of my best friends, three former coworkers, and my aunt, uncle, and three cousins. Wow, I guess that's more than a few people! Not sure if my mother-in-law has told any other relatives, although I did give her permission to. We've successfully kept it off Facebook, which is great. I'd love to show up to the graduation at the high school where I used to teach and surprise the heck out of my former students.
I've had a couple of doctor's appointments. Had my basic checkup with the OB. She wanted me to meet with a maternal fetal medicine specialist regarding my blood pressure, since I take medication for it. Kind of anticlimactic, really; he decided to keep me on my medication and just keep an eye on my blood pressure. Hello? That's what I do anyway, pregnant or not.
Also had to do what they call a "24-hour urine". That's fancy-speak for peeing in a container for a whole day. They wanted to test my kidneys to make sure I didn't have any damage from years of high blood pressure. I had a little plastic cover for my toilet that my urine would collect in. I then had to take it and pour it into a big orange bottle. I had to keep the bottle in the refrigerator. Thankfully, we have a second fridge in our garage that doesn't really have anything in it. Ew. And I had to be careful to collect ALL my pee and not accidentally spill any (or accidentally collect any non-pee. Hard to remember to move the plastic cover to poo). I was very happy to take it back in to the lab.
But all my test results have come back good. The results from our ultrasound came back very good: our probabilities of genetic disorders are WAY below the average for my age group. Our likelihood of Downs is one in 331, and our likelihood of another chromosomal trisomy are one in 9,000. Pretty good odds, I'd say. The lab analyzed my pee and my blood and determined I had no abnormalities in my kidneys, and the doctor sent me a message that my pap smear (which she did during my checkup) was completely normal.
So I'm pretty hopeful that everything is progressing as it should. Still not feeling the baby kicking or anything yet; at least, I don't think so. I've felt a few little flutters down there, but those could easily be digestion-related. A couple more weeks and I should start feeling more stuff.
Not much else going on. I've got another check-up in May, and my second trimester ultrasound in June. Keep your fingers crossed!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Some people just can't keep secrets
Today's weigh-in: 209.8
Well, perhaps I shouldn't have eaten a burger AND a bratwurst for dinner last night. Oh well.
On to other things. Last Tuesday I had my "ultrascreen". We met with their genetic counselor, who explained that the purpose of the ultrascreen is to determine a likelihood of genetic problems, such as Downs Syndrome and other trisomy chromosomal defects. Basically, there are always possibilities of chromosomal defects, but since I'm over 35, my eggs are a bit old and stale, so they have the potential to suffer from more defects than the eggs of a younger woman. There's that "advanced maternal age" deal again. *sigh*
Anyway, it was really awesome. We got to see the baby move, a lot (which could bode unwell for me later in the pregnancy), we got to hear the heartbeat, and the tech FINALLY got the measurements she needed (after several HOURS!!! My abdomen was sooo tender afterward). They gave us a couple of pictures and sent us on our way.
At that point, only our parents and my brother knew about the pregnancy. I really wanted to wait until we got the results back from the ultrascreen before we told anyone else, but my husband and I figured that we should go ahead and tell his brother and sister and grandparents. I mean, even a genetic problem won't change the fact that I'm pregnant. We still aren't telling the masses or anything, but we figured if we waited longer my sister-in-law would really be mad. She tends to take things personally.
So we called my brother-in-law and then my sister-in-law (a mistake; should've called her first; she's mad). Then my husband called his grandparents, since they're getting older and we figured they'd appreciate the news (we're not the only grandkids who are expecting; my husband's cousin and his wife are due next month, I think). But no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, no friends or anything like that yet.
EXCEPT FOR three of my mother-in-law's fiends. She and her friends were here for the weekend to do some shopping. We met up with them on Friday night at a nice restaurant for dinner. During dinner, my father-in-law accidentally spilled our secret. We were talking about birthdays, and my father-in-law said, "Well I think it would be neat if the baby was born on your mother's birthday." (I am due the day after what would have been my mom's 67th birthday.) He had no idea he had just dropped the ball. All my mother-in-law's friends shot her looks. My husband and I shot each other looks. And my father-in-law continued in blissful ignorance of what he had done. After dinner I told my mother-in-law that she could go ahead and fill in the blanks, asking her friends to not spread the news just yet. They were really nice about it, and congratulatory to us on Sunday as they headed out of town. So it wasn't really a disaster or anything, but still, we had hoped to keep it a bit more secret than it ended up being.
Anyway, we should hopefully have the results of our ultrascreen in the next couple of days. I had a brief appointment today, pretty much just a checkup with a pap smear (meh), to make sure everything still looks good. They got on the portable ultrasound and looked at the baby (still moving around, always a good thing), so it seems that everything is still on track. The clinic will be scheduling an appointment for me with a fetal medicine specialist to make sure my blood pressure is not going to be a problem (and I get to spend yesterday collecting my urine to check my kidneys for damage from hypertension, hooray), but otherwise I've got my monthly checkup scheduled for May, and another ultrasound scheduled in June. Everything seems to be progressing. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well, perhaps I shouldn't have eaten a burger AND a bratwurst for dinner last night. Oh well.
On to other things. Last Tuesday I had my "ultrascreen". We met with their genetic counselor, who explained that the purpose of the ultrascreen is to determine a likelihood of genetic problems, such as Downs Syndrome and other trisomy chromosomal defects. Basically, there are always possibilities of chromosomal defects, but since I'm over 35, my eggs are a bit old and stale, so they have the potential to suffer from more defects than the eggs of a younger woman. There's that "advanced maternal age" deal again. *sigh*
Anyway, it was really awesome. We got to see the baby move, a lot (which could bode unwell for me later in the pregnancy), we got to hear the heartbeat, and the tech FINALLY got the measurements she needed (after several HOURS!!! My abdomen was sooo tender afterward). They gave us a couple of pictures and sent us on our way.
At that point, only our parents and my brother knew about the pregnancy. I really wanted to wait until we got the results back from the ultrascreen before we told anyone else, but my husband and I figured that we should go ahead and tell his brother and sister and grandparents. I mean, even a genetic problem won't change the fact that I'm pregnant. We still aren't telling the masses or anything, but we figured if we waited longer my sister-in-law would really be mad. She tends to take things personally.
So we called my brother-in-law and then my sister-in-law (a mistake; should've called her first; she's mad). Then my husband called his grandparents, since they're getting older and we figured they'd appreciate the news (we're not the only grandkids who are expecting; my husband's cousin and his wife are due next month, I think). But no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, no friends or anything like that yet.
EXCEPT FOR three of my mother-in-law's fiends. She and her friends were here for the weekend to do some shopping. We met up with them on Friday night at a nice restaurant for dinner. During dinner, my father-in-law accidentally spilled our secret. We were talking about birthdays, and my father-in-law said, "Well I think it would be neat if the baby was born on your mother's birthday." (I am due the day after what would have been my mom's 67th birthday.) He had no idea he had just dropped the ball. All my mother-in-law's friends shot her looks. My husband and I shot each other looks. And my father-in-law continued in blissful ignorance of what he had done. After dinner I told my mother-in-law that she could go ahead and fill in the blanks, asking her friends to not spread the news just yet. They were really nice about it, and congratulatory to us on Sunday as they headed out of town. So it wasn't really a disaster or anything, but still, we had hoped to keep it a bit more secret than it ended up being.
Anyway, we should hopefully have the results of our ultrascreen in the next couple of days. I had a brief appointment today, pretty much just a checkup with a pap smear (meh), to make sure everything still looks good. They got on the portable ultrasound and looked at the baby (still moving around, always a good thing), so it seems that everything is still on track. The clinic will be scheduling an appointment for me with a fetal medicine specialist to make sure my blood pressure is not going to be a problem (and I get to spend yesterday collecting my urine to check my kidneys for damage from hypertension, hooray), but otherwise I've got my monthly checkup scheduled for May, and another ultrasound scheduled in June. Everything seems to be progressing. Keep your fingers crossed!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Dropping the bomb
Today's weigh-in: 208.4
Well, after steak and potatoes on Saturday night and sour cream chicken enchiladas last night, I'm not surprised to be up a few pounds. What I need to do tonight is be a little prudent with what I eat, so hopefully I won't be a chunk when I go into my appointment tomorrow afternoon. I have an ultrasound and blood screen scheduled for tomorrow, to check for possible genetic abnormalities. It's something they recommend for "advanced maternal age" folks like myself (women 35 or older at the time they deliver). I'm so pleased to be of "advanced maternal age". Hooray.
We got to drop the bomb on some family members over the weekend. We were originally intending to start notifying people AFTER tomorrow's appointment, in case there were any problems discovered. But my mother- and father-in-law came in to own on Friday evening and spent all day Saturday with us. My father-in-law is a real DIY kind of person, and he wanted to know what projects we needed to work on around the house. Obviously, with the pregnancy, our priorities have changed, and some of the things we've been planning on doing (putting in a sprinkler system, fencing the yard, finishing the basement) have been pushed back a bit. We figured it would be easier to admit to them the truth, rather than fib to them about why we weren't working on certain projects. So we told them the news on Saturday morning. (They were rather excited, to say the least. I think we'd been voted "least likely to have kids" in some family poll at some point.)
Anyway, after telling my husband's parents, I felt like I should let me immediate family members know. Both my dad and brother are out of the country right now, working as independent contractors overseas. Almost all our communication is electronic, through e-mail and instant messaging. This wasn't the kind of news I felt should be delivered through such impersonal means. But it meant I had to figure out some way to talk with them over the phone. My dad was first. He and I have used Skype several times, but the connection is poor. Instead, we instant message on it. So I hinted (strenuously) that my dad should call me on his office phone if he got the chance. I didn't know if he'd pick up on the hint or not. But he did give me a call, as we were all headed to run some errands. He seemed a bit flummoxed when I told him he was going to be a grandpa. But then he recovered well and said several times what wonderful news it was (and how much he wished my mom could be here for it). This morning (which is evening for him) he instant-messaged me to say that he was still feeling the celebratory "upness". So I'm glad he's excited about it. I just never know how my dad will react to such things. Not that he wouldn't be happy, but when my husband asked my parents for permission to ask me to marry him, my dad's response was "Sure. How's the weather been?" Not the enthusiastic response my husband had expected. So we just didn't know what we were going to get out of my dad. My brother's response was more what I expected, from him. I got my phone set up (after hours of annoyance from Verizon) for international calling, and called his Afghan cell phone, on the pretext of calling him for his 39th birthday. After a few minutes of chatting, I asked him how he felt, being an uncle-to-be. His exact response was: *pause* "Holy f*ucking sh*t. Are you serious?" At which point I responded, "Of course I'm serious, and don't call me Shirley." He was very happy after that, albeit extremely surprised. I mean, I am his little sister. He's had to deal with me having more college degrees than him, getting married before him (he's been dating the same person for like 8 years, but I still don't know how likely they are to get married), and now having a baby before him. He handles it all with good nature and humor, but I do wonder if it bothers him a bit. However, I think he'll be really happy to be an uncle.
We haven't told anyone else yet, not my husband's two siblings. We'll let them know, and probably my husband's grandparents too, after tomorrow's appointment. I hope they aren't miffed (particularly my sister-in-law, who tends to take things rather personally) that they weren't among the first to find out the news. I would guess aunts and uncles and cousins will come after that. We won't make it completely public (no Facebook or anything like that) until the end of April/beginning of May. That will be when I'm out of my first trimester, and out of the time period where most miscarriages occur. I don't want everyone to know we're pregnant and then have to go back and tell everyone that something terrible happened.
So, cross your fingers for my ultrascreen tomorrow, that everything looks OK!
Well, after steak and potatoes on Saturday night and sour cream chicken enchiladas last night, I'm not surprised to be up a few pounds. What I need to do tonight is be a little prudent with what I eat, so hopefully I won't be a chunk when I go into my appointment tomorrow afternoon. I have an ultrasound and blood screen scheduled for tomorrow, to check for possible genetic abnormalities. It's something they recommend for "advanced maternal age" folks like myself (women 35 or older at the time they deliver). I'm so pleased to be of "advanced maternal age". Hooray.
We got to drop the bomb on some family members over the weekend. We were originally intending to start notifying people AFTER tomorrow's appointment, in case there were any problems discovered. But my mother- and father-in-law came in to own on Friday evening and spent all day Saturday with us. My father-in-law is a real DIY kind of person, and he wanted to know what projects we needed to work on around the house. Obviously, with the pregnancy, our priorities have changed, and some of the things we've been planning on doing (putting in a sprinkler system, fencing the yard, finishing the basement) have been pushed back a bit. We figured it would be easier to admit to them the truth, rather than fib to them about why we weren't working on certain projects. So we told them the news on Saturday morning. (They were rather excited, to say the least. I think we'd been voted "least likely to have kids" in some family poll at some point.)
Anyway, after telling my husband's parents, I felt like I should let me immediate family members know. Both my dad and brother are out of the country right now, working as independent contractors overseas. Almost all our communication is electronic, through e-mail and instant messaging. This wasn't the kind of news I felt should be delivered through such impersonal means. But it meant I had to figure out some way to talk with them over the phone. My dad was first. He and I have used Skype several times, but the connection is poor. Instead, we instant message on it. So I hinted (strenuously) that my dad should call me on his office phone if he got the chance. I didn't know if he'd pick up on the hint or not. But he did give me a call, as we were all headed to run some errands. He seemed a bit flummoxed when I told him he was going to be a grandpa. But then he recovered well and said several times what wonderful news it was (and how much he wished my mom could be here for it). This morning (which is evening for him) he instant-messaged me to say that he was still feeling the celebratory "upness". So I'm glad he's excited about it. I just never know how my dad will react to such things. Not that he wouldn't be happy, but when my husband asked my parents for permission to ask me to marry him, my dad's response was "Sure. How's the weather been?" Not the enthusiastic response my husband had expected. So we just didn't know what we were going to get out of my dad. My brother's response was more what I expected, from him. I got my phone set up (after hours of annoyance from Verizon) for international calling, and called his Afghan cell phone, on the pretext of calling him for his 39th birthday. After a few minutes of chatting, I asked him how he felt, being an uncle-to-be. His exact response was: *pause* "Holy f*ucking sh*t. Are you serious?" At which point I responded, "Of course I'm serious, and don't call me Shirley." He was very happy after that, albeit extremely surprised. I mean, I am his little sister. He's had to deal with me having more college degrees than him, getting married before him (he's been dating the same person for like 8 years, but I still don't know how likely they are to get married), and now having a baby before him. He handles it all with good nature and humor, but I do wonder if it bothers him a bit. However, I think he'll be really happy to be an uncle.
We haven't told anyone else yet, not my husband's two siblings. We'll let them know, and probably my husband's grandparents too, after tomorrow's appointment. I hope they aren't miffed (particularly my sister-in-law, who tends to take things rather personally) that they weren't among the first to find out the news. I would guess aunts and uncles and cousins will come after that. We won't make it completely public (no Facebook or anything like that) until the end of April/beginning of May. That will be when I'm out of my first trimester, and out of the time period where most miscarriages occur. I don't want everyone to know we're pregnant and then have to go back and tell everyone that something terrible happened.
So, cross your fingers for my ultrascreen tomorrow, that everything looks OK!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Feeding time at the zoo
Didn't weigh in this morning, but I've been sticking between 206 and 208, so I'm guessing I'm probably still there.
Have two doctor's appointments scheduled in the next few weeks. The first is an "ultrascreen". This is a combination of an ultrasound and a blood screening, both to find possible genetic problems (Downs, fragile x, stuff like that). Unfortunately, we won't be able to tell the sex of the baby, because it's too early, so we'll probably have to have another ultrasound later on down the line (assuming we're going to find out the sex). But we will be able to hear the baby's heartbeat, which will be pretty cool. That's coming up a week from today. Then, on the next Monday, I have an appointment actually scheduled with the doctor herself (finally). That will be for the pelvic exam (oh joy!) and whatever other assorted things she'll do. So, lots of excitement coming up.
Hopefully, after I've had these appointments, we'll go ahead and start telling people the good news. This way, we'll know if there's anything wrong before we start talking to people. I just don't want to tell people prematurely, in case there is a problem.
Read an interesting article on CNN.com today, about breastfeeding. It suggested that a lack of breastfeeding in the United States contributes to a number of infant health problems, including SIDS and other fatal illnesses. Basically, women should breastfeed ONLY for the first six months, according to research. But because some babies have trouble breastfeeding, and women are busy in the home and the workplace, and there are so many formulas available, many women just opt for formula feeding. Apparently, after three months, only 33% of mothers are still breastfeeding exclusively, and after six months, only 14% are still using breastfeeding only.
So I guess I'll need to talk to the doctor about breastfeeding, and see how breast milk can be stored, so I can stock up. Guess I'll need a breast pump at some point. Sounds like fun.
Have two doctor's appointments scheduled in the next few weeks. The first is an "ultrascreen". This is a combination of an ultrasound and a blood screening, both to find possible genetic problems (Downs, fragile x, stuff like that). Unfortunately, we won't be able to tell the sex of the baby, because it's too early, so we'll probably have to have another ultrasound later on down the line (assuming we're going to find out the sex). But we will be able to hear the baby's heartbeat, which will be pretty cool. That's coming up a week from today. Then, on the next Monday, I have an appointment actually scheduled with the doctor herself (finally). That will be for the pelvic exam (oh joy!) and whatever other assorted things she'll do. So, lots of excitement coming up.
Hopefully, after I've had these appointments, we'll go ahead and start telling people the good news. This way, we'll know if there's anything wrong before we start talking to people. I just don't want to tell people prematurely, in case there is a problem.
Read an interesting article on CNN.com today, about breastfeeding. It suggested that a lack of breastfeeding in the United States contributes to a number of infant health problems, including SIDS and other fatal illnesses. Basically, women should breastfeed ONLY for the first six months, according to research. But because some babies have trouble breastfeeding, and women are busy in the home and the workplace, and there are so many formulas available, many women just opt for formula feeding. Apparently, after three months, only 33% of mothers are still breastfeeding exclusively, and after six months, only 14% are still using breastfeeding only.
So I guess I'll need to talk to the doctor about breastfeeding, and see how breast milk can be stored, so I can stock up. Guess I'll need a breast pump at some point. Sounds like fun.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
So much reading material
I didn't weigh myself this morning, but yesterday I was 206.6. I really haven't gained any weight at all. As a matter of fact, the only day I really weighed heavier was the day I went in for my first prenatal exam, last Friday.
It was a long appointment, especially when you consider that I never even got to see the doctor. This first appointment was to talk over the financial options for paying for all this, the classes the birth center offers, and my health background. As a matter of fact, they only did a few "medical" things to me: took blood and urine (I had no problem with the urine, as I seem to have a surplus), and tried to hear a fetal heartbeat. Unfortunately, we couldn't hear anything; the nurse said it was unlikely we would, since it was so early in the pregnancy. I figure my weight didn't necessarily help either, since that meant there was an extra layer of fat to try and listen through. She said we'd be able to hear something the next time. I was disappointed there wasn't more to the appointment. The nurse gave me a bunch of literature to read.
I am collecting books at this point. We already had two about pregnancy (plus one about the first year of life), and I haven't even finished one of them yet. There's just so much to know! How did people ever have babies when there wasn't all this literature to read?
It was a long appointment, especially when you consider that I never even got to see the doctor. This first appointment was to talk over the financial options for paying for all this, the classes the birth center offers, and my health background. As a matter of fact, they only did a few "medical" things to me: took blood and urine (I had no problem with the urine, as I seem to have a surplus), and tried to hear a fetal heartbeat. Unfortunately, we couldn't hear anything; the nurse said it was unlikely we would, since it was so early in the pregnancy. I figure my weight didn't necessarily help either, since that meant there was an extra layer of fat to try and listen through. She said we'd be able to hear something the next time. I was disappointed there wasn't more to the appointment. The nurse gave me a bunch of literature to read.
I am collecting books at this point. We already had two about pregnancy (plus one about the first year of life), and I haven't even finished one of them yet. There's just so much to know! How did people ever have babies when there wasn't all this literature to read?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I need to win the lottery
I'm a bit stressed today. I talked with my husband a bit yesterday and today, and he is deeply concerned with our finances. Although he got a pretty good raise in pay coming to his new job, we took a big financial hit because I don't have fulltime employment anymore.
Subbing just isn't cutting it. If I were subbing five days a week, we could certainly make a go of it, but I'm only getting a few jobs each month, and that simply won't do. I could probably pick up more subbing jobs if I were less picky, but it would me taking age groups and subjects I'm not comfortable with, and going to schools that I would prefer to avoid. I already hate subbing (the kids don't behave well, teachers don't always leave great lesson plans or adequate work, and it just isn't very fulfilling especially when compared to a classroom teaching gig), and that's subbing in situations I am comfortable with.
The problem is, I don't know what else to do. I would love to be a writer, but that simply won't happen. While I am a good writer (technically speaking), I am not a creative writer by any standard. To be a published writer you have to have creative and unique ideas, and I just don't. I do fine if you tell me what to write about, but that isn't how writing works. Anything that involves working from home would be ideal, but many of the "work at home" opportunities I'm finding are scams and wouldn't be worth the effort. I looked at online tutoring, but it seems that there must be a plethora of English tutors out there, because I'm not finding any available positions. I thought about teaching online classes, but even for an online school like DeVry University (which doesn't exactly carry a huge load of respect in the education world) they require their teachers to have a master's degree. I have two bachelor's degrees and 40 hours of graduate classes, but I never finished my master's degree, and now with our financial situation I certainly can't afford to take any classes. I've only had two other jobs in my life: lifeguard/swim instructor/coach, and a receptionist in a medical office. Lifeguarding or teaching swimming lessons can't really be considered at this point with my physical condition; I really don't relish having little kids kicking off of my stomach time and time again. Also, swimming around here is very much a seasonal activity, so I can't really expect to make it a fulltime job. That leaves medical receptionist. I worked in a nursing home on weekends (not really a difficult job), and I also worked at a busy eye doctor's office scheduling appointments. I guess this may be what I must consider.
But it's breaking my heart to consider a vocation change. I love being a teacher. I love the other teachers, I love the students, I love the curriculum. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life.
It's just making me really upset. I'm glad we moved out of Memphis, but right now I'd almost be willing to trade it to have my old job back. One of my coworkers just had a baby this past fall, and she was able to take a few months off of school (she prepared all the lesson plans for the sub and graded all the papers just as she would have if she had been at school) and then was able to start up again after the semester break.
I just don't know what to do.
Subbing just isn't cutting it. If I were subbing five days a week, we could certainly make a go of it, but I'm only getting a few jobs each month, and that simply won't do. I could probably pick up more subbing jobs if I were less picky, but it would me taking age groups and subjects I'm not comfortable with, and going to schools that I would prefer to avoid. I already hate subbing (the kids don't behave well, teachers don't always leave great lesson plans or adequate work, and it just isn't very fulfilling especially when compared to a classroom teaching gig), and that's subbing in situations I am comfortable with.
The problem is, I don't know what else to do. I would love to be a writer, but that simply won't happen. While I am a good writer (technically speaking), I am not a creative writer by any standard. To be a published writer you have to have creative and unique ideas, and I just don't. I do fine if you tell me what to write about, but that isn't how writing works. Anything that involves working from home would be ideal, but many of the "work at home" opportunities I'm finding are scams and wouldn't be worth the effort. I looked at online tutoring, but it seems that there must be a plethora of English tutors out there, because I'm not finding any available positions. I thought about teaching online classes, but even for an online school like DeVry University (which doesn't exactly carry a huge load of respect in the education world) they require their teachers to have a master's degree. I have two bachelor's degrees and 40 hours of graduate classes, but I never finished my master's degree, and now with our financial situation I certainly can't afford to take any classes. I've only had two other jobs in my life: lifeguard/swim instructor/coach, and a receptionist in a medical office. Lifeguarding or teaching swimming lessons can't really be considered at this point with my physical condition; I really don't relish having little kids kicking off of my stomach time and time again. Also, swimming around here is very much a seasonal activity, so I can't really expect to make it a fulltime job. That leaves medical receptionist. I worked in a nursing home on weekends (not really a difficult job), and I also worked at a busy eye doctor's office scheduling appointments. I guess this may be what I must consider.
But it's breaking my heart to consider a vocation change. I love being a teacher. I love the other teachers, I love the students, I love the curriculum. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life.
It's just making me really upset. I'm glad we moved out of Memphis, but right now I'd almost be willing to trade it to have my old job back. One of my coworkers just had a baby this past fall, and she was able to take a few months off of school (she prepared all the lesson plans for the sub and graded all the papers just as she would have if she had been at school) and then was able to start up again after the semester break.
I just don't know what to do.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Keeping secrets
Today's weigh-in: 206.2
I'm finding it really weird that I haven't gained any weight at all so far in this experience. I guess it worries me a little, although I know weight gain is much more significant in the later months of pregnancy. I'm afraid I'm not eating right. We've bought a couple books--What to Expect When You're Expecting and You, Having a Baby--and I know both books have chapters about eating. I will probably sit down tomorrow and do some serious reading to make sure I am eating appropriately.
I also have my very first prenatal appointment on Friday. I know I'm going to have to have a pelvic exam, which I am of course dreading (who wouldn't), but I suspect there's going to be plenty of time to ask questions, which I need to do. I may need to make a list of questions ahead of time, so I don't forget anything. My husband was talking about taking the morning off of work to go with me, but I don't know if that's going to happen.
I'm noticing some physical changes. My boobs still hurt, which is really annoying and probably the biggest pain in the butt. But my stomach does seem to be changing. The biggest thing seems to be that I can't "suck in" my tummy like I used to. Being overweight, that's always been a part of my regular daily routine. Suck the tummy in and go about my business. But I feel like I can't pull my stomach in. Instead, my upper abdomen feels, I don't know, sort of hard. I guess the best description I can give is that it feels like I've eaten a ton of food and am super full. I've noticed that a couple of my pairs of pants don't fit quite the same. So far everything I have in the closet is still wearable, but I suspect I'm going to be reaching the point, with my pants especially, where I'm going to want to wear maternity pants instead of my regular pants. I think I'll probably be going shopping in the next few days.
I have had a little morning sickness, but only once so far have I thrown up. It isn't even always nausea. Instead, it's just kind of an upset stomach, without feeling like vomiting. Kind of like a hangover, day 2. It's definitely better when I can stay in bed a little longer and get up slowly but surely. When I jump right out of bed I really feel like yakking.
Right now our main concern is when to tell our families. I have a fear of telling people too soon, and then something goes wrong and we'll have to break the bad news to people. I think that would be devastating. But the struggle also involves the fact that both my dad and brother will be out of the country until AFTER I deliver. My brother is in Afghanistan right now as a civilian contractor, and my dad is going to Djibouti in a similar capacity. I sort of feel like I should tell them, especially since something could happen at any time, especially to my brother. But it wouldn't be fair to tell my side of the family and not tell my in-laws. But I can also guarantee that as soon as my mother-in-law knows, it's all over (meaning everyone else will know too). So I'd at least like to put off telling everyone until I'm out of the first trimester. We're looking at somewhere around the end of April/beginning of May. However, my in-laws live only five hours away and we see them pretty frequently. My father-in-law actually stays with us two weeks each month because he works on the Indian reservation up here (as well as the one closer to where they live). How can I hide this from him? He's a pharmacist, so he knows medical symptoms. I'm afraid he's going to notice the morning sickness, the physical changes, stuff like that. And they're going to be here at our house this Friday when I have to go to my doctor's appointment. So our intentions of keeping this little secret to ourselves for a few more weeks may not float. We'll see.
I'm finding it really weird that I haven't gained any weight at all so far in this experience. I guess it worries me a little, although I know weight gain is much more significant in the later months of pregnancy. I'm afraid I'm not eating right. We've bought a couple books--What to Expect When You're Expecting and You, Having a Baby--and I know both books have chapters about eating. I will probably sit down tomorrow and do some serious reading to make sure I am eating appropriately.
I also have my very first prenatal appointment on Friday. I know I'm going to have to have a pelvic exam, which I am of course dreading (who wouldn't), but I suspect there's going to be plenty of time to ask questions, which I need to do. I may need to make a list of questions ahead of time, so I don't forget anything. My husband was talking about taking the morning off of work to go with me, but I don't know if that's going to happen.
I'm noticing some physical changes. My boobs still hurt, which is really annoying and probably the biggest pain in the butt. But my stomach does seem to be changing. The biggest thing seems to be that I can't "suck in" my tummy like I used to. Being overweight, that's always been a part of my regular daily routine. Suck the tummy in and go about my business. But I feel like I can't pull my stomach in. Instead, my upper abdomen feels, I don't know, sort of hard. I guess the best description I can give is that it feels like I've eaten a ton of food and am super full. I've noticed that a couple of my pairs of pants don't fit quite the same. So far everything I have in the closet is still wearable, but I suspect I'm going to be reaching the point, with my pants especially, where I'm going to want to wear maternity pants instead of my regular pants. I think I'll probably be going shopping in the next few days.
I have had a little morning sickness, but only once so far have I thrown up. It isn't even always nausea. Instead, it's just kind of an upset stomach, without feeling like vomiting. Kind of like a hangover, day 2. It's definitely better when I can stay in bed a little longer and get up slowly but surely. When I jump right out of bed I really feel like yakking.
Right now our main concern is when to tell our families. I have a fear of telling people too soon, and then something goes wrong and we'll have to break the bad news to people. I think that would be devastating. But the struggle also involves the fact that both my dad and brother will be out of the country until AFTER I deliver. My brother is in Afghanistan right now as a civilian contractor, and my dad is going to Djibouti in a similar capacity. I sort of feel like I should tell them, especially since something could happen at any time, especially to my brother. But it wouldn't be fair to tell my side of the family and not tell my in-laws. But I can also guarantee that as soon as my mother-in-law knows, it's all over (meaning everyone else will know too). So I'd at least like to put off telling everyone until I'm out of the first trimester. We're looking at somewhere around the end of April/beginning of May. However, my in-laws live only five hours away and we see them pretty frequently. My father-in-law actually stays with us two weeks each month because he works on the Indian reservation up here (as well as the one closer to where they live). How can I hide this from him? He's a pharmacist, so he knows medical symptoms. I'm afraid he's going to notice the morning sickness, the physical changes, stuff like that. And they're going to be here at our house this Friday when I have to go to my doctor's appointment. So our intentions of keeping this little secret to ourselves for a few more weeks may not float. We'll see.
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