I'm a bit stressed today. I talked with my husband a bit yesterday and today, and he is deeply concerned with our finances. Although he got a pretty good raise in pay coming to his new job, we took a big financial hit because I don't have fulltime employment anymore.
Subbing just isn't cutting it. If I were subbing five days a week, we could certainly make a go of it, but I'm only getting a few jobs each month, and that simply won't do. I could probably pick up more subbing jobs if I were less picky, but it would me taking age groups and subjects I'm not comfortable with, and going to schools that I would prefer to avoid. I already hate subbing (the kids don't behave well, teachers don't always leave great lesson plans or adequate work, and it just isn't very fulfilling especially when compared to a classroom teaching gig), and that's subbing in situations I am comfortable with.
The problem is, I don't know what else to do. I would love to be a writer, but that simply won't happen. While I am a good writer (technically speaking), I am not a creative writer by any standard. To be a published writer you have to have creative and unique ideas, and I just don't. I do fine if you tell me what to write about, but that isn't how writing works. Anything that involves working from home would be ideal, but many of the "work at home" opportunities I'm finding are scams and wouldn't be worth the effort. I looked at online tutoring, but it seems that there must be a plethora of English tutors out there, because I'm not finding any available positions. I thought about teaching online classes, but even for an online school like DeVry University (which doesn't exactly carry a huge load of respect in the education world) they require their teachers to have a master's degree. I have two bachelor's degrees and 40 hours of graduate classes, but I never finished my master's degree, and now with our financial situation I certainly can't afford to take any classes. I've only had two other jobs in my life: lifeguard/swim instructor/coach, and a receptionist in a medical office. Lifeguarding or teaching swimming lessons can't really be considered at this point with my physical condition; I really don't relish having little kids kicking off of my stomach time and time again. Also, swimming around here is very much a seasonal activity, so I can't really expect to make it a fulltime job. That leaves medical receptionist. I worked in a nursing home on weekends (not really a difficult job), and I also worked at a busy eye doctor's office scheduling appointments. I guess this may be what I must consider.
But it's breaking my heart to consider a vocation change. I love being a teacher. I love the other teachers, I love the students, I love the curriculum. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life.
It's just making me really upset. I'm glad we moved out of Memphis, but right now I'd almost be willing to trade it to have my old job back. One of my coworkers just had a baby this past fall, and she was able to take a few months off of school (she prepared all the lesson plans for the sub and graded all the papers just as she would have if she had been at school) and then was able to start up again after the semester break.
I just don't know what to do.
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