Week 3, whoopee

Weight (in jammies) 222.8

I'm probably not going to lose much more weight just on my own; I'm not breastfeeding anymore (more on that in a moment), so I'm going to have to start working out.  I'm going to start easy, with those Leslie Sansone walking workouts.  It's going to be too hot outside to take Ian for a walk, plus I need to get a new tire for the jogging stroller, so I'll just stick to the videos in the house. 

Breastfeeding is going to be a no-go this time around.  Ian never has figured out how to latch--he can't even latch to a bottle well--although I must admit I haven't spent nearly the amount of time trying that I should have.  Even with pumping during the day, the amount I've produced has decreased over time.  The last time I pumped, on Thursday, I pumped probably less than an ounce the entire day.  It hurts my breasts to pump, and it just isn't producing anything.  So I'm giving up.  I was able to give him a little each day over the course of three weeks; that will have to be enough.  Hopefully it is enough to give him the stuff he needs for his immune system.  I have ordered some probiotic drops that the pediatrician recommended, which are supposedly the bacteria that are found in breastmilk.  He recommended them as a solution for colic (which Ian seems to have a problem with), so we're going to give them a try.  We got the Enfamil Gentlease formula that Brendan had, but it doesn't seem to have helped Ian with his tummy problems.  He cries a lot, and squirms and arches his back.  He strains like he's trying to poop really, really hard.  Eventually he manages to poop or fart, and then he calms down for a while.  Rubbing his tummy and pumping his legs seems to help a bit.  But I had really hoped that the formula change would help.  Makes me a bit sad, since I think if Ian were breastfeeding he wouldn't have this problem.  It's that feeling of failure that I had when I was struggling to breastfeed Brendan.  I know that formula can be just as good (for the most part) as breastmilk, but still, it's disappointing.

It's been a rough couple of days.  Didn't get much sleep the other night because Brendan threw up a couple of times, necessitating several jammie and bed changes.  I kept him home from the sitter yesterday, which was probably a good thing for her because he threw up a few more times that morning.  He didn't eat or drink much, other than water, the rest of the day yesterday, and so we thought he was OK.  But then Ross put him in the car to run an errand this morning, and Brendan ended up throwing up all over inside the car.  Ross doesn't have a good stomach for such things (I think only mommies have the stomach to deal with all the bodily functions of children).  We'll definitely need to get the car detailed now!  That's the only time he's thrown up today, so far (fingers crossed).  I really hope he gets past this quickly.  No fun.  I also hope he doesn't give whatever it is to Ian, Ross, or me. 

Anyway, I hope Brendan feels better soon, Ian's tummy stops hurting him, and my tummy gets smaller.  Soon!

Ten days in and the kids are still alive...

So, we now have two kids.  How weird is that?

Let's see...first of all, I weighed myself yesterday: 229.2.  I guess there is something to be said for childbirth and rapid weight loss.  I was probably about 245 when I had Ian, which is about the same as when I had Brendan.  They didn't weigh me when I went into the hospital, so I never got a final number.  But that means I came out ahead, really, in the weight department.  I started at 237, so I had a net gain of about 8 lbs.  Nice.  Of course, with the weight loss at the beginning of the pregnancy, down to about 217, I ended up with a gross (isn't it always?) gain of about 28 lbs.  With Brendan, I started at 206 and ended at 245, so this time things came out a little better.  Hopefully I can get rid of as much of the baby weight from both boys, and then start focus on losing the general fatness I have accumulated in the past six or seven years.  My goal is really to get down to somewhere below 160 lbs.  It's going to be a long road, and it'll be hard work with the boys, but hopefully I can do it.

I have to say that having the planned c section this time was way less stressful than last time.  With Brendan I had a day and a half of contractions and very little progress toward delivery before the doctor finally decided to do the c section.  This time, she pretty much told me from the beginning that we should plan to have the c section, and that if I happened to go into labor before that we'd play it by ear.  So, I might have had a random contraction or two during the week before the c section, but definitely didn't go into labor.  On the day I hit 39 weeks in the pregnancy, I went into the hospital at about 1 pm (I did have to call ahead of time and wait for an OK because they'd had a busy week and didn't have any beds available at the beginning of the day).  They got me into the room, gave me my hospital gown, and left me to change.  Then they came in, got some baseline readings for bp, bloodwork, and the baby (which is when they identified that I was having a few contractions here and there), and then hooked me up to an IV, gave me some anti-nausea medication (which didn't work last time or this time--I barfed both times), and rolled me out to the operating room.

No epidural this time, but a spinal block, which was pretty nice and not as "itchy" as the epidural was.  Again, I was amazed at how fast things went.  My operation was scheduled at 2:20, Ian was delivered at 3:02, and I was back in my room at 3:30.  Ian was smaller than I expected, coming in at 7 lbs 8 oz and only 19.5 inches long.  I have to laugh at the fact that I view him as "small", since he really wasn't that small--it's just compared to Brendan that he seems little.  He isn't as long-torsoed as Brendan is; his legs are more proportional to his torso.  And his feet aren't as big as Brendan's were.  When Brendan was born, the nurses commented on how big his feet were.  Ian can actually wear the little newborn socks I had bought for Brendan that Brendan never wore.

The nurses got me up and moving later that evening.  A little hard to sleep that night, since they kept coming in to check on us about every hour.  Probably the best thing was being prepared for the fact that I wouldn't be likely to be able to breastfeed right away.  Heck, we're ten days out now, and I haven't been able to pump more than about an ounce.  I'm still worried that I won't be able to breastfeed (and he hasn't figured out how to latch on yet, which makes it harder), but at least I've been able to get him a little breastmilk, and I know that formula won't kill him.  I have ordered some of that fenugreek that I tried with Brendan last time; it did seem to help my production a bit, so we'll have to wait and see.  But Ian might need to switch formulas, regardless, as he seems to have a major spit-up problem (and some gas issues).  He's on the Enfamil Newborn formula right now, but I may ask the pediatrician for some recommendations on Wednesday when we go in for our next appointment.

Big brother Brendan doesn't quite know what to think about Ian.  He loves to say "BayBEE" and knows that is Ian, but he's not super interested in him otherwise.  He has tried to take his bottle and his blankets a few times, and almost jumped on him one evening (which was pretty scary), but otherwise he's been gentle.  He likes touching his nose.  I just hope he stays gentle.  We have tried to make sure we've paid plenty of attention to him, which was made easier by the grandparents being here for the past ten days (they left today, unfortunately); it'll be harder this week.  But what has been most frustrating to Brendan is that I haven't been able to play with him much or pick him up.  I'm going to try to be good and not pick him up until Friday (which will be two weeks after my surgery), but I can't make any guarantees.  I'm at least able to get around a lot better now than a few days ago. 

Anyway, we are now the parents of two kids.  I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around that.  I had enough difficulty recognizing myself as the mother of one boy; now I have two.  Weird.  Wish me luck...

Week 38: just a few days left

So, I haven't posted in a really, really long time. It isn't that I haven't had anything to post about; I just haven't had any time. Now that school is out, I have my one week of vacation before the baby arrives, so I have to use the time wisely. Which means I need to get off the computer and get some stuff done. Oh well. Anyway...last time I weighed myself (a couple of days ago), I was 242.0. I was 244 at the doctor's office yesterday, clothed. So it looks like I'm going to end up at about the same weight when I have Ian on Friday as I was when I had Brendan, about 245. Sucks to weigh that much, but at the same time I managed to gain less weight this time around than I did last time. When I had Brendan, I started at 206, so I gained about 40 lbs. This time, I started at 237, dropped down to about 217, then came back up to where I am now. Gross gain is about 25 lbs, but net gain is really only about 5 lbs. I guess that's pretty impressive, although I would have liked to be lighter than this. I'll have a lot of work ahead of me to lose all this--my goal is to be back down under 160 lbs. I don't know if I can do it within a year. A friend of mine has suggested that we could do one of those "zombie run" 5K races next summer. I think I can probably handle a training regimen that gets me to run about 3 miles in a full year. But I'll have to start out slowly. They really don't recommend much in the way of exercise after a c section until about 6 weeks out. My exercise before that is going to be a little walking and a lot of breastfeeding (I hope). I can't even remember when I last posted. The past few months have been a whirlwind. We survived two trips, one to Memphis for a wedding and one to San Diego for my brother's wedding. I only got barfed on once (on the plane between Salt Lake City and Memphis, absolutely nightmarish). Brendan did barf on our San Diego trip, but not on me. :/ But really, he was actually very good on both trips. However, I doubt we'll be doing much traveling anytime soon. It's too hard to keep Brendan in the seat on the plane, and when we have to start paying for more seats on the plane (when he hits 2 years) it's going to get way too expensive to fly. And driving with the little guy will be difficult. So we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe the world will finally start coming to us, instead of the other way around. I'm not going to hold my breath, though. I did also survive a slightly disappointing Mother's Day. Not anything horrible, but my husband was sick, so we didn't do anything. Heck, the only card I got was from my dad. Silly of me to be disappointed, I know; I should just be a lot happier that I have a wonderful family and not feel sorry for myself. But it did make me a little sad. And of course, I survived the school year. This has been really rough; I've been pregnant for more than half the school year. I am very tired. It has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I was pregnant with Brendan, if I didn't feel good, I just didn't take a sub job. This time, I haven't had the luxury. I've had to take a lot of half days here and there for doctor's appointments, so I really haven't had a lot of days left to take off if I didn't feel good anyway. Had 12 kids fail, which was 10%. I guess that is a reasonable number, although it's interesting that most of them were in my freshman English, in which I had half as many students as I had in SciFi. I will admit, I didn't do a great job with the SciFi classes and their research paper. A good lesson to learn--they weren't as motivated to do it right as my classes at St. Agnes were. I'll have to do a much better job next time. Of course, I have no idea what I'm going to be teaching next year...I know I'll have Academic Success classes (basically a study hall for the slackers), but supposedly I'll have at least one English class as well, at least first semester. Fingers are crossed. Now I'm trying to get the last things done before Ian arrives. I am scheduled for a c section this Friday, which will be 39 weeks. Makes me a little nervous to have him a week early, especially since we don't know exactly when he was conceived; since I was on birth control, I didn't really pay attention to my periods or anything, so his due date of the 15th is just an estimate. What if he isn't quite ready yet? I hope it doesn't mean he'll be sickly or anything. Also, since I'm not likely to have any contractions with him, I'm worried that his lungs won't be cleared. With Brendan, I had almost two days of contractions before having the c section, so he got all the benefits of being squeezed (whatever those are). I'm also really worried about Brendan. He'll stay home with the grandparents--it would be a nightmare turning him loose in the hospital; goodness knows what he would unplug--and he's never been away from us for an entire night before. I don't want him to be upset without us. Seriously, I want to cry every time I think about it. It also upsets me that I won't be able to play with him or pick him up for a few weeks too. I know I'm just overreacting and he'll be fine, but still. I have so much to do. The nursery isn't put together, I have to make the guest beds for the grandparents, I have to vacuum the whole house and at least spot-clean the carpets, I have to hit the grocery store...but I'm enjoying sitting on my butt and not doing anything. My dad will be here tomorrow night, so I really do need to get stuff done. But first on the list is taking the dog to the vet. I'll post more about him later. Whew. Well, up to date now, I guess. Wheeeeee.