Wake me up when January ends

Today's weigh-in: 206.0

Well, the month of January has been a bust.  I'm still finishing the month (tomorrow) almost 25 lbs down from my starting point in October, but looking back at my weight this month, I've had so many plateaus and rebounds that I'm not finishing with any real weight loss for the month. I was at 207 at the beginning of the month; here I am at 206 on the second to the last day of the month.  Even at my lightest weight so far, 204, I was only down not quite 4 lbs from that start point.

I think it's pretty clear that the diet alone is not really going to help me anymore.  The days I've seen the best results have been days that I've chosen to not really eat dinner.  That means it's the calorie restriction more than the ketogenic diet doing the work.  It seems strange to me to put forth the effort of making dinner for my family and then not eat any of it.  I'm not sure what kind of message that might send to my children in the long run.  It's already hard enough to get them to sit still and eat their own food without me having to explain why I'm not eating anything.

I don't feel like I eat a lot.  I have a couple cups of coffee during the day, with accompanying almond milk and/or cream; a celery stick with peanut butter; a couple of Atkins bars (which claim to be low in carbs, and have a lot of protein but not much fat); maybe a handful of nuts; meat and cheese for lunch; and then whatever we have for dinner, usually meat and veggies with some kind of cream sauce.  My "splurge" is whipped cream, which I'm sure adds carbs because of the sugar in it, but I would have hoped I wasn't eating that much of it.

The worst thing so far is how tired I am.  I just feel really run-down.  My husband, having lost almost 60 lbs so far without much exercise, is feeling good and sleeping much better than he used to, but I'm still not sleeping great.  I usually wake up a couple times at night, and when I wake up in the morning my muscles are stiff and sore and I have a headache.  I still take blood pressure medication, and when I ran out the other day I gained a couple pounds but had high hopes that I would lose the weight again when refilling my meds, but it didn't really happen.  I really want to sleep.  All the time.

I wonder if it's "that time of the month" for me.  I never know anymore; I have Mirena bc that has allowed me to not have a period since it was put in almost 4 years ago.  But I know I still get moody.  And that's how I've been feeling: sad and tired and disappointed.

I know I need to start exercising, but I just don't have any energy or motivation to do so.  I want to start walking the dog again in the mornings instead of just putting her out in the yard, but when it's cold and windy out, I don't have the desire to do so.

I'm stuck in a rut.  Boo hiss.  Hopefully February will bring much-needed changes.