I just read an article that said that Corey Harrison from Pawn Stars, previously known as Big Hoss, now weighs 210 lbs after having lap band surgery a couple years ago and working out a lot more ever since. Must be nice.
I, on the other hand, do not weigh 210 lbs. I'm still close to 240, with my weight fluctuating a few pounds each day. I think I weighed myself a couple of days ago at 237.8. Sometimes I'm down to 236, sometimes up to 239. I don't top 240 unless I'm dressed or it's the end of the day. I usually weigh myself in the mornings so I'm as "empty" and light as I'm going to be.
Anyway, I had originally had plans to work out, either walking, swimming, or lifting, every day before my class. That didn't happen, as I discovered I needed all my non-kid time to read and write for the class. Even the week after the class, I still had lots of work to do on my final paper and portfolio, so I didn't do any working out. Over the 4th of July weekend I DID my first actual piece of exercise in God-knows-how-long: I walked a 5k with my mother-in-law. I knew she had been walking daily to get ready for it, and I was really worried about being able to keep up with her. It actually turned out way better than I thought; while I definitely got plenty of exercise in walking the course, I pushed her to her best 5k time, 54 minutes. I'm pretty sure I can do better than that. I've been meaning to try again, but I need to figure out an approximate course around here to walk. I just signed up for another one on August 24. I really should train first.
That 5k was it; I haven't done any exercise other than that. The past two weeks, after the 4th of July, I've had the boys F-M, which means no working out for four days in a row. I need to just suck it up and start getting on the elliptical or doing an in-house walking workout in the evenings after the boys go to bed. It's just that it's the only time I have to sit and enjoy my husband's presence. Also, working out in the evening makes it harder to go to sleep at night because my adrenaline is up. Working out in the morning would be better, but the sooner I get up, the sooner the boys get up, it seems. I can't count on a certain amount of time in the morning that I can work out. And the days I didn't have the boys, I had other things to do--I had my portfolio to finish last week, and this week is all about cleaning up the house for the company I'm going to have for the next week and a half. We're going to Yellowstone next week (with our company and the boys), so although I'll get some walking in, we'll also be snacking all day and sitting in the car a lot. Yuck. Not great for the weight loss plan.
By the time our company leaves, I'll have four weeks before teachers have to report for in-service and the first days of school. And it will still be having the boys for four days in a row each week. So much for my 15 lbs of weight loss this summer.
I'm just so beat-down and defeated. I hate being fat. I hurt every morning and every night because I'm so heavy. I have to wear shoes all the time because my plantar fasciitis is bad. My back hurts, my shoulders hurt, my neck hurts. And I just don't know what to do to fix it. I have so many excuses, and I can't make myself stop using them. I'm going to be 40 years old in about three months, and I really didn't want to enter my 40s almost 100 lbs overweight.
I need help. I keep hoping I'll wake up one morning and be skinny. It hasn't happened yet.
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