Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day...

Weigh in: 235.4

OK, so, yeah.

Here we are, more than two weeks into my summer vacation, and obviously little has really changed. 

Well, a few things have changed.  Ian turned one year old the weekend before last.  We had a great time.  My dad and the in-laws came into town.  I made an airplane birthday cake with blue frosting (that yes, caused a little blue poo for a day or two).  It looked pretty good.  I don't think it looked quite as good as Brendan's Elmo cake back in October, but it was still pretty cool.  Also got to use the "1st birthday" decorations that my friend had bought for Brendan so long ago that never got put up.  Cake was eaten, presents were opened, and all was well.  Well, except for the fact that Brendan thinks Ian's presents are his own.  Ian is still too little to fight about it, but the day is coming very soon when they will start to fight over their toys.  There have already been a few tug-of-wars over some items. 

Ian is also big enough to finally start walking!  We weren't sure if he would make it before his first birthday, but by golly he took his first few steps two days before the big day.  I'm still very surprised that it took him as long as it did...Brendan was walking at 9 months, while Ian didn't really even get good at crawling until then.  I know, everyone is different, but I expected Ian to be on the early side of development since he has his big brother to watch and learn from.  I can't help but wondering if the potentially early delivery we suspect Ian had might have delayed some of his developmental milestones a bit.  There's no way to know, really; it's just curiosity on my part.  He's up to seven teeth or so now, and I'm pretty sure he's got one or two more coming through.  He's also doing well with his solid food eating, and we're switching him over to whole milk from formula. 

Brendan is wild and crazy, still.  He's a nonstop whirlwind of energy and activity.  Nothing slows the kid down.  He has gotten the hang of riding his tricycle and actually using the pedals, and his sitter bought him a little bicycle with training wheels that he's practicing on.  He's lazy when it comes to pedaling, and would rather run his feet while sitting on the seat, but he's getting there.  He loves to play in water, whether it's a sprinkler or a swimming pool.  I had hoped to get the boys into swimming lessons this summer, but I suspect it's too late at this point.  We will try to take them swimming as often as we can.  We are also going camping for the first time since Ian was born in a few weeks, and I'm sure at least Brendan will have a blast.  Ian is still a little unsure of things that are new, different, or unfamiliar, but I hope he has fun too.

As for me, I survived the most difficult and stressful school year I've ever endured.  I didn't do a very good job this year.  I struggled with classroom management, discipline, and time management.  I very nearly didn't get some assignments graded, and I don't think I did the instruction for those assignments very well either.  I've always been very literature-driven in my curriculum, and since we've adopted the Common Core standards, our curriculum is more assignment-based.  I need to do some reading this summer on doing writing instruction, since writing is becoming a very central part of our curriculum.  I also have a few books to read that I am probably going to be teaching next school year.  There is still some question about when I will teach next year--I will have my usual freshmen and sophomores during first semester, but I am supposed to teach SciFi again second semester.  SciFi is now going to be a senior-level class instead of junior-level, and I need to review the standards and books on the senior curriculum.  But there is some question in the school district as to whether or not we'll even be able to offer the class.  I'm not sure about the details and why there is a controversy, but there apparently is one.  I'm going to be holding my breath, waiting to see if I'll get to teach the class or not.  I really love science fiction and feel very passionate about the genre.  Anyway, while I'm waiting for final word, I'm going to be reading stories, writing lesson plans, and doing some research into how I want to present the coursework. 

Something else I didn't really get around to doing this spring was losing weight.  My weigh-in today was almost exactly the same as the weigh-in from the previous post, in March.  Epic fail.  I also haven't gotten any weight loss in the past two weeks.  I haven't worked out.  I haven't eaten well.  As a partial excuse, I spent the first week of summer cleaning the house and getting everything ready for my company.  Then right before my dad was supposed to leave to go home, he got sick and ended up in the hospital for gallbladder surgery.  I spent the second week of my summer break helping my dad with his convalescence.  Yesterday was a bit of a waste--I had taken my truck in for some mechanical work, which ended up not being done because some other work had to be done first, and the whole thing just threw off my groove.  I have a few things I need to get done today, in preparation for our carpet being installed tomorrow morning, but I am determined I am going to go to the movies this afternoon.  I have  missed a number of movies that have come out lately.  The last time we saw a movie was back in February.  The newest Star Trek movie has been out for several weeks now, and I want to make sure I get to see it in the theater.  I did work out today, though.  I'm starting out slow, with a workout series I had found on Pinterest.  It's called Shape up Size Down, and it has different levels based on your current level of fitness.  I started with the Absolute Beginning level, although I did add a few extra sets in.  I will try to do that workout level the rest of this week, and then step up to the next level.  I now have just under ten weeks before school starts again in the fall, and I'd really like to lose twenty pounds by then, but I'm not sure if that's a realistic goal (especially since I couldn't even lose twenty pounds during the ten-month school year).  Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

Milestones

Yesterday's weigh-in: 235.2.

Sigh.

But on to other news: big day for Ian today. At almost nine months old, Ian finally had gotten the hang of crawling. He's doing the army crawl, staying low to the ground and dragging himself across the floor, but it's a very clear movement, and he definitely covers ground. I'm a bit surprised that it has taken so long to do this. I really thought he was going to crawl and walk early because he would learn it from Brendan. I'm glad he had finally gotten around to it, even though it does mean we need to be much more diligent about keeping things picked up so he doesn't get into anything he shouldn't. He loves to chew on things, and could easily choke on something.

Chewing brings me to milestone number 2: Ian had his first tooth break through today. It is the bottom right front tooth. That might explain why he didn't sleep well last night and kept rubbing his face on the blankets all night. Again, I'm a little surprised it has taken this long, but Brendan didn't get any teeth until about this time either.

So my baby really is growing up! And spreading of growing up, Brendan sure is. He can count somewhat reliably to fifteen. He sometimes remembers to tell us ahead of time if he needs to potty so he can sit on the toilet. We aren't pushing the potty training and are letting him sort of come to it in his own time. I know his sitter is working on it with him at daycare too. His speech is getting more clear, and he is stringing more words into sentences. He is also getting abstract concepts, such as drawing a picture and saying what it's a picture of (Christmas tree, Mommy, Daddy, or whatever).

I just wish Ian would sleep! Argh!

Weigh-in: Ouch

Today's weigh-in: 235.6

And that was AFTER 30 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weights yesterday.  Yikes.  I am a cow. 

Finally getting off my a$$

No weigh-in this morning.  I'll have to do one tomorrow to see where I am, fat-wise.

Probably won't be great.  The hubby and I went out of town for part of the Valentine weekend--we went to Bozeman and had lots of not-good food and beer.  We did "work out" one day, by going skiing, and I'm sure we burned some calories, but I doubt it did much good.  Then we came back and ate not-good food with his parents (who had watched to boys while we were gone).  I finally worked out today, a real work out.  I got on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes straight, and then did a few arm exercises with my 10 lb kettle bell.  Not much, but it's a start.  If I can keep doing this somewhat regularly, it should really help.  I also need to eat better.  I've already started by giving up soda for Lent.  I'm also trying to cut back on snacks--selling concessions in my classroom hasn't been good for me, because it's convenient chips and candy.  I need to stop eating those.  I hope I can keep this up.

On the child front, our trip to Bozeman meant I left the boys for only the third and fourth nights ever in their lives.  My in-laws came to town for the weekend, and so they watched the boys from 5 pm (when their day at the sitter ends) until 7 am the next morning (when their day with the sitter starts) on Thursday (we left Thursday morning after dropping the boys off) and Friday.  We got home just before lunch on Saturday.  My mother-in-law slept upstairs in our bedroom so she could hear the boys if they needed her.  Brendan, of course, was fine.  Ian woke up a few times, but she let him cry it out each time, and so he didn't even have a bottle in the middle of the night either night.  I've been trying to wean him off the nighttime bottles, cutting back by half a bottle when I do make one, and by waiting longer before actually giving him one.  Since she stopped giving him a bottle for those two nights, I did the same Saturday and Sunday.  I did give him a bottle this morning at 5:30, but only because he had really started crying, and I figured it would calm him down hopefully enough that he'd go back to sleep.  Didn't really work.  Oh well.  Ian is getting better about sleeping, slowly.  He does put himself back to sleep--I usually put him down while he's awake at bedtime and turn on his musical seahorse and his nightlight stuffed animal (it projects stars onto the ceiling).  We might have to go in a few times to restart the seahorse, but he generally goes to sleep in about 15 minutes or so. [On a side note, both Brendan and Ian have this musical seahorse, made by Fisher Price.  It plays ten short little songs and its tummy lights up.  It has always been key for Brendan's sleep.  Only recently have we started using Ian's when he goes to sleep.  My only dislike of the seahorse is that it only plays for about five minutes--the ten songs are very short.  I wish it would play for about 15 or 20 minutes so we wouldn't have to go in and turn it back on.]  Ian does still wake up 2-4 times at night, but I'm trying to get him to go back to sleep without rocking him.  I just put his pacifier back in his mouth if it isn't in there and start the seahorse again.  Last night I did have to take him out of the crib to rock him for a few minutes, but I was able to put him back in the crib after just a few minutes and give him his pacifier and seahorse and leave him there, and he settled back down. 

The whole sleep thing has been rough for me, with both boys.  I'm not good at letting the boys cry.  Crying children really affect me--my blood pressure shoots up and I get panicky.  It's basically an anxiety attack.  I can't just lie there and listen to them cry.  If I even hear a squeak, I'm wide awake, lying there and listening for another sound while holding my breath.  So the sleep training has been slow going.  I'm glad that Ian has at least gotten to the point where he doesn't need to eat during the night.  Hopefully he'll reach the point where he doesn't wake up at all during the night, so I can finally start sleeping again.

At least while we were in Bozeman I got a little sleep.  The first night we were there, I actually got SEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP.  We went to sleep about 9:30, and I woke up at 4:30 needing to pee.  That's the most sleep I've gotten at one time since I got pregnant with Brendan, three years ago.  Sadly, the next night I didn't sleep well at all.  My muscles were very sore from skiing, and I had a bit of heartburn from dinner, so I woke up every 2-3 hours.  I still got a lot of sleep in general, but it was much more broken than the night before.

Anyway, fingers crossed that the weight-loss thing will finally get going.

Yeah, yeah, I know

February 1, and today's weigh in: 230.4

Yeah, I know.  Haven't lost any weight.  Haven't really tried.  Been too tired, too busy, too overwhelmed with life.  The usual.

Well, I have sort of tried.  I did work out.  One day.  And really it was just 100 crunches.  And yesterday and today I have tried to eat better.  I even brought celery for lunch.  Yay me.

But the fact remains that I haven't lost any weight, and now time is not on my side.  My goal is STILL to lose 20 lbs by June 1 (the end of the school year).  But instead of losing 2 lbs each month, which was the original 10-month plan, I now have to lose 5 lbs each month.  It's not looking that great, is it? 

I really need to do three things: 1) actually start working out, regularly; 2) eat better; and 3) get some sleep.

Still not getting any sleep.  Ian has had a terrible week, sleep-wise, but we think we've at least figured out what the problem is.  He has been horribly constipated.  Ian has always had more trouble, digestion-wise, than Brendan ever did.  I suppose it's because he's a formula baby and not a breastmilk baby.  I mean, we are only just now at the point, about 7 1/2 months (well, closer to 8 I guess), that my supply finally dried up and we had to switch Brendan to formula.  And all the processed stuff (formula, baby cereal, solid foods) are fortified with iron, which does cause constipation. 

What this adds up to is a backed-up baby who spends his entire night sleeping fitfully, 45 minutes at a time, then moaning and crying and squealing until somebody (me) manages to get him back to sleep for another 45 minutes.  But we did finally figure out that was the problem.  We hit the store and got him some prunes, which we'll start giving him daily until it seems he's "regulated", then maybe cutting back to every couple of days.  I also started putting his probiotic drops in his bottle at night again.  The pediatrician had suggested those to us back when he was so colicky in the hopes it would help.  Didn't seem to help then, but the whole purpose of probiotics is to regulate the gut (like those Activia yogurt commercials claim), so maybe it'll help.  And, as a last resort, I picked up a box of glycerin suppositories.  I have used them on Ian before.  Had to use them maybe once on Brendan.  Anyway, Ian slept for three hours last night (which is pretty impressive after the 45 minute performances of late) before waking up and eating.  Then he only slept for an hour and started up with the moaning and crying.  Ross tried to soothe him back to sleep, but finally at 3:30 I opened the box o' suppositories.  About a minute later, out comes a bunch of hard little pebble poops (which must have hurt like the dickens), some gas, some clay-consistency poop and more gas, and finally some easy-flowing poop and gas.  No wonder he's been fussy.  Poor guy.  It took a little while to get him back to sleep (I had turned the light on so I could see what I was doing, and heck, if somebody had stuck that up my butt, I'd have a hard time going back to sleep too), but when he did, he slept quietly until Ross got him up to get him dressed, more than two hours later. 

I really hope we've gotten this sorted out and we can get the poor little guy on the right digestive track.  He really should be able to make it through the night without eating at all.  I'm going to start weaning him off that if I can.  He does take less from the bottle at night than he used to; instead of draining the bottle he usually only eats about 2 oz at a time at night. 

Brendan, on the other hand, is doing great.  He eats like a horse (he's gotta be in a growth spurt right now), and he downs gallons of milk at a time, I swear.  At least I know where he gets it.  He also continues to be an engine of destruction.  He killed my tablet computer.  He poured water all over it.  The tablet spent several days in a bag full of Minute Rice, but it still won't start.  Boo.  Then he poured milk all over the laptop.  That, at least, still works, although the keys were a bit crunchy for a couple of days, and I shudder to think what the inside looks like.  But it's hard to stay mad at him (although he frustrates the heck out of my and brings out the horrible parent side of me all the time).  His favorite saying right now is "Goodness gracious!"  He also thinks the word "coconut" is hilariously funny.  His current addiction is The Micky Mouse Clubhouse, which I guess is an improvement over Elmo's Potty Time and all the Sesame Street videos, but he also loves to read (and to try to extend his bedtime by reading thousands of books).  What a goober.

I've been pretty lonely and depressed lately, so I hope that the diagnosis of Ian's recent trouble may lead to more sleep, which will improve my life dramatically.  I hope.

Happy February!

Happy 2013

So, it's been a while since my last post. Lots of things have gone on, too many to recall or recount. The boys had a great Christmas. We went to the in-laws' for the week, so at least the kids weren't wrecking my house. You'd think, with all those adults, it would have been easier to keep Brendan out of trouble and to keep Ian entertained, but we all still struggled. Anyway, the kids had a great time and got lots of presents. We did leave the boys overnight so my husband, my brother-in-law, and I could go skiing. I wish I could say that I got tons of uninterrupted sleep, but motel pillows, snoring, and various other factors kept me from getting a great rest. Oh well.

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is my New Year's resolutions, or whatever you want to call them. As far as parenting goes, I need to be more patient with the boys. Of course, Brendan has already tested that sorely today. I also need to be better with my husband and pay more attention to him.

Then there's organization: I need to be better about it at home and at school. At school, I also need to do a better job of classroom management and rule enforcement. And financial organization needs some work; we've gotten ourselves in some credit card debt again and we need to work our way out of it.

The biggest thing (ha ha, you'll get the joke in a minute) I need to work on is weight loss. Today's weigh-in (albeit after breakfast and lunch) was 231.4, a far cry from the 220ish I should have been. I didn't lose any weight at all the first half of the school year. So I really need to get on it. I don't remember what my "starting" weight at the beginning of the school year was, but I'm still going to try to lost 20 lbs by the end of the school year (end of May). I'd also like to fit into my cute size 14 ski pants by next ski season (I'm about a size 20 right now).

I have posted a few post-shower pictures in a sports bra and shorts in the hopes that they will shame me into working out, since nothing else has worked. Believe me, I have never been as horrified and embarrassed as I am now, having posted those pictures. Yikes.

So we're gonna give it another shot. Happy 2013, and here we go...

Not Suitable for Anywhere (3)

Here is a pic from the front. Note the arm flab as well.