Today's weigh-in: 230.4.
Which means the month of August was a total failure. I started at 227, and was supposed to be below 225 by the end of August for a weight loss of at least two pounds. Instead, I gained three.
I'm not entirely sure what happened, other than the fact that I failed at my very first goal of my weight loss journey. I thought it would be easy to lose weight since I started back to work. I figured with general walking around and not having time to snack much that I would be able to lose some weight pretty easily. Apparently I was wrong.
As far as eating goes, I didn't think I'd been eating that badly. Usually I have Carnation Instant Breakfast before leaving the house. Then I'd have "foo-foo" coffee (latte or cappuccino), which might be my downfall. I don't typically order them as nonfat, and I usually get a pretty big one. I can't find a calorie count for the drinks I usually get, but based on the comparable Starbucks drinks I've looked at, I'm probably consuming 500+ calories with each coffee drink. Not good. I need to stop drinking so much coffee. For starters. During the rest of the school day, I typically have a Greek yogurt with fruit on the bottom, a single serving bag of almonds, a single serving container of baby carrots, a granola bar, and maybe a piece of fruit like a plum or a cutie orange. When I get home, I have whatever it is we have for dinner. Sometimes I have ice cream for dessert. But I really wouldn't think that I was eating any more than I had before. So I'm pretty disappointed that I haven't lost weight. I guess the coffee is gonna go, ASAP.
My other goal of the month was a wash-out too. I had hoped that I would have gotten a bit of exercise by now. I had started one of those Couch-to-5K apps, but I haven't gotten more than a few of the workouts for the first week done. And I haven't actually done any since school started. I also thought I would have been walking or biking to work every day, but I haven't done it once.
Man, I suck.
As far as the kids go, they are ok. Brendan is 22 months old, and really wearing us out. He's wild and crazy for sure. I really wish he'd sleep through the night, though. Other than those two weeks or so, right around Ian's birth, he hasn't slept though the night. Usually at least twice one of us has to get up and go after him. Ian, at almost three months, seems to be getting a little better, as far as sleeping goes. He's been going to bed somewhere between 10-11, and sleeping until about 2:30. So that's about 4 hours. After that, it isn't quite as good; the past few nights he hasn't taken another bottle until I've taken him to the sitter's in the morning, but he doesn't sleep quietly--he's pretty squirmy. I don't know if it's reflux or gas or just non-restful sleep, but I tend to wake up and check on him every hour or so. I kind of want to move Ian to his own room, since he's still sleeping in ours, but I'm afraid I won't hear him until he actually starts crying, and that means he might wake Brendan up. Just not sure what to do about that yet.
It's funny to see the difference between the boys. Brendan was a very serious baby, didn't smile much, loved to look around at the scenery, didn't mind riding in the car and actually traveled pretty well, cried when he wanted something (for the most part), needed to be swaddled super tight to get him to sleep at night. Ian smiles all the time, and gurgles and coos at you (which is really darned cute, I have to admit). He could care less about the scenery, but really wants to have someone with him at all times, preferably holding him. He's still kind of colicky (although he does seem to be getting a little better), so there are plenty of times that he cries that we simply have no idea what the problem it. He despises his car seat and usually cries in the car if we're driving somewhere more than just ten or fifteen minutes away. He hates to be swaddled, so he sleeps in a pretty loose swaddle at night with a blanket tucked over him to keep his hands away from his face. They are like night and day in a lot of respects. It will be interesting to see how Ian's personality develops.
Anyway, my goal of losing 20 lbs by the end of the school year (May 31) still stands, but now to do it I'll have to lose a little more than 2 lbs per month. But I still think it's doable. Starting Tuesday, though, I'm going to start walking or riding my bike to school. No more coffee in the mornings, at least, not unless we've had a really, really bad night. I also need to start working with my kettlebell and getting on the elliptical machine downstairs.
In other news, I had an IUD put in back in the middle of August, and I'm still bleeding. My OB did say that it was possible I could bleed/spot for a whole month, but seriously? This sucks. It did seem like part of the past few weeks was my period, since that was due. I am so tired of bleeding! Argh.
Well, that's all I've got for you. I just hope September is a better month than August was...
Pool Time
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
8 weeks old/Day One, almost
Can't believe that Ian is 8 weeks old today. Amazing. I can't believe we're all still alive, more specifically. Pretty darned tired.
Didn't weigh myself this morning. Tried working out for the first time. Despite the fact that I 1) have no intention of running a 5K any time soon and 2) despise running with all my heart, I decided to download the Couch-to-5K app for my phone and use it to start working out for the next few weeks. The workouts are 20 to 30 minutes, and the first one was just a 5 minute brisk walk for warm up, and then intervals of 1 minute of jogging and 90 seconds of walking. Not sure if there was a cool down--I would assume there was--because I didn't make it that far. How freaking sad is that? Oh, sure, I could blame it on the fact that we have company here and I had told them I was only going over to the sitter's house to pay her for the week, and I was pushing Brendan in the jogging stroller, and made it around our neighborhood faster than I thought I would, and when I rounded the corner I saw that my husband was already home. But I'll just go ahead and admit that I don't know if I could have finished the last half of the workout anyway. I stopped the second to the last jogging interval I did a few seconds early, and probably would have done the same thing again. How pathetic is it that I can't even finish the "first day off the couch" workout? Pretty sad indeed. And then, to add insult to injury, it wouldn't let me log the workout. I clicked "quit" because I figured it was more honest than fast-forwarding through the rest of the workout. It did warn me that I was quitting without finishing (thanks a lot, Captain Obvious), but it didn't say anything about not letting me record at least the part of the workout that I did do. And I wasn't even able to map the workout because my GPS wasn't working on my phone. Lame. So I'm pretty sure that even if I did have designs on competing in a 5K, I wouldn't be able to do it on their schedule. I suck. Well, even if I couldn't record the workout officially, I can at least say that yes, I did work out today. Kind of. Sigh.
Didn't weigh myself this morning. Tried working out for the first time. Despite the fact that I 1) have no intention of running a 5K any time soon and 2) despise running with all my heart, I decided to download the Couch-to-5K app for my phone and use it to start working out for the next few weeks. The workouts are 20 to 30 minutes, and the first one was just a 5 minute brisk walk for warm up, and then intervals of 1 minute of jogging and 90 seconds of walking. Not sure if there was a cool down--I would assume there was--because I didn't make it that far. How freaking sad is that? Oh, sure, I could blame it on the fact that we have company here and I had told them I was only going over to the sitter's house to pay her for the week, and I was pushing Brendan in the jogging stroller, and made it around our neighborhood faster than I thought I would, and when I rounded the corner I saw that my husband was already home. But I'll just go ahead and admit that I don't know if I could have finished the last half of the workout anyway. I stopped the second to the last jogging interval I did a few seconds early, and probably would have done the same thing again. How pathetic is it that I can't even finish the "first day off the couch" workout? Pretty sad indeed. And then, to add insult to injury, it wouldn't let me log the workout. I clicked "quit" because I figured it was more honest than fast-forwarding through the rest of the workout. It did warn me that I was quitting without finishing (thanks a lot, Captain Obvious), but it didn't say anything about not letting me record at least the part of the workout that I did do. And I wasn't even able to map the workout because my GPS wasn't working on my phone. Lame. So I'm pretty sure that even if I did have designs on competing in a 5K, I wouldn't be able to do it on their schedule. I suck. Well, even if I couldn't record the workout officially, I can at least say that yes, I did work out today. Kind of. Sigh.
Friday, July 15, 2011
*sigh*
I must be a horrible parent, because I am so much happier when I can send my son to daycare for the day. A full day with him just wears me out and leaves me impatient, frustrated, and disappointed in myself. Yesterday was a particularly bad day. Brendan of course is pretty fussy now since his tooth is coming in. When he's awake he really doesn't want to play by himself, although he does better entertaining himself in the mornings than in the afternoons. He follows me around, whining and pulling on my pantlegs. He's figured out how to open the cupboards, so we've started working on the babyproofing. All I've done so far is lock up two of the side by side cabinets with a lock that connects both handles together. It's inconvenient, to say the least. I need to put in the single cabinet locks; at least they are easier to open for adults. Brendan has also started pulling himself up on the baker's rack in the kitchen. I've had to take everything off of it so he doesn't pull anything heavy off on himself. But now I'm worried he might pull the whole thing over on himself. And I've had to relocate some of my houseplants (all poisonous philodendrons) and I have more to move.
--------------------
Sorry, I was just interrupted by the diaper change from hell. Brendan has gotten himself in a bad habit of rolling over while I'm trying to change him, making it impossible to have a quick, fuss-free change. He had pooped, and naturally it was a mushy, stick-to-the-butt poop. I was trying to keep him from rolling over, so instead he jammed his hand down into the mess. His hand was covered in shit. He got it all over my hand, all over his legs...I'm in hell.
Back to the post in progress...
So, yesterday I had to change his clothes 4 different times (after the initial change from jammies to play clothes. He spit up part of his breakfast, he barfed up his lunch, he was wet after his nap, and then he spit up a lot of his bedtime bottle, all necessitating a clothing change. How can one little kid produce so much laundry? And so many nasty bodily fluids?
And he was up twice last night, once for a short cuddle of about 20 minutes, the other for a bottle and some fussy time of an hour. Then he got up at the same time as my husband, meaning I couldn't go back to sleep. He got into the trash while I got dressed, making a mess of the bathroom floor. I had to get him a bottle and then pop him in his stroller so I could walk the dog, because for some reason my husband did not walk the dog before he left for work.
I just feel frantic, rushed, and totally out of control and out of sorts. I get angry at him, which makes me angry at myself. I am a horrible parent. I suck at this, probably worse than I have ever sucked at anything. While I always thought I would have another child, I just don't think I should. I"m doing a lousy job with the one I've got.
--------------------
Sorry, I was just interrupted by the diaper change from hell. Brendan has gotten himself in a bad habit of rolling over while I'm trying to change him, making it impossible to have a quick, fuss-free change. He had pooped, and naturally it was a mushy, stick-to-the-butt poop. I was trying to keep him from rolling over, so instead he jammed his hand down into the mess. His hand was covered in shit. He got it all over my hand, all over his legs...I'm in hell.
Back to the post in progress...
So, yesterday I had to change his clothes 4 different times (after the initial change from jammies to play clothes. He spit up part of his breakfast, he barfed up his lunch, he was wet after his nap, and then he spit up a lot of his bedtime bottle, all necessitating a clothing change. How can one little kid produce so much laundry? And so many nasty bodily fluids?
And he was up twice last night, once for a short cuddle of about 20 minutes, the other for a bottle and some fussy time of an hour. Then he got up at the same time as my husband, meaning I couldn't go back to sleep. He got into the trash while I got dressed, making a mess of the bathroom floor. I had to get him a bottle and then pop him in his stroller so I could walk the dog, because for some reason my husband did not walk the dog before he left for work.
I just feel frantic, rushed, and totally out of control and out of sorts. I get angry at him, which makes me angry at myself. I am a horrible parent. I suck at this, probably worse than I have ever sucked at anything. While I always thought I would have another child, I just don't think I should. I"m doing a lousy job with the one I've got.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Do-Over Day 48 - 2/17/10
Today's Weigh-in: 209.0
Well, I am fairly certain that I am retaining some water, since I have not been taking my blood pressure medication in about a month or so. So there's probably a couple of pounds there that aren't really mine. But still, I've put on almost all the weight I lost 4 years ago. Shit. We've got company for the next couple of days, so we'll be eating quite a bit, but I'm about to go on a major diet. My husband's cousin is coming on March 3 for a week-long visit that will involve some snowboarding, so I need to improve my shape in the next two weeks. Can I lose five pounds, maybe?
Well, I am fairly certain that I am retaining some water, since I have not been taking my blood pressure medication in about a month or so. So there's probably a couple of pounds there that aren't really mine. But still, I've put on almost all the weight I lost 4 years ago. Shit. We've got company for the next couple of days, so we'll be eating quite a bit, but I'm about to go on a major diet. My husband's cousin is coming on March 3 for a week-long visit that will involve some snowboarding, so I need to improve my shape in the next two weeks. Can I lose five pounds, maybe?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Day 319 - 11/16/09
Today's weigh-in: 204.6
Well, yes, things are not entirely going to plan. I have not managed to lose any weight yet. But it's really more about the food than the exercise. I have been running (well, "wogging") in the mornings. Plus, we bought an elliptical machine, and I have been using that.
It's really about the food. I have yet to implement my "serving spoon" plan, where I only eat a single serving spoon scoop of whatever our entree is. We haven't been eating out as much, which is good, but I really have to get control of the eating.
I am enjoying my new house, though! I'm still waiting for my mother-in-law to ask about kids again, because I'm sure it's coming. But I don't mind. We'll get there. At least now if we do have a kid, we have somewhere to house the little tyke.
Well, yes, things are not entirely going to plan. I have not managed to lose any weight yet. But it's really more about the food than the exercise. I have been running (well, "wogging") in the mornings. Plus, we bought an elliptical machine, and I have been using that.
It's really about the food. I have yet to implement my "serving spoon" plan, where I only eat a single serving spoon scoop of whatever our entree is. We haven't been eating out as much, which is good, but I really have to get control of the eating.
I am enjoying my new house, though! I'm still waiting for my mother-in-law to ask about kids again, because I'm sure it's coming. But I don't mind. We'll get there. At least now if we do have a kid, we have somewhere to house the little tyke.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Day 174 - 6/23/09
Weigh-in: 199.2
Yeah, I know. At the beginning of the summer, I had such high hopes. I was going to work out a lot, watch what I ate, and enjoy some weight loss. Instead, I'm still sitting about the same place I've been for...I have no idea how long. Sad.
The first couple of weeks of the summer, I was doing pretty well. Then I let myself slack off for a variety of reasons, and I just haven't been able to get myself going again.
Part of it is my own usual slacker issues. This is certainly not a new problem. But it has been severely compounded by this state of limbo that we are in (see previous post). Since that post, where my husband had five interviews, there has been a sixth. And now, the company is flying him out to their corporate headquarters in North Dakota to spend the day interviewing face to face with...pretty much everybody, it sounds like. This is supposed to take place one week from today. So, while this certainly sounds like they are offering him the job, we have no details at all yet, and we're still in a state of limbo.
Needless to say, this makes it very difficult to convince myself to do any kind of school-related work whatsoever. But it also is making it hard for me to do anything else. Clean the house? Why, if we'll have to clean it again when we move everything? Rearrange the cabinets? Why, if we're just going to have to take everything out to pack? Go through the closets? Why, if we're just going to have to do it again when we pack up?
My husband makes a good point, that going through the stuff now might make it easier to pack it up when we need to. But it's not making it any easier to get myself going.
I was never very good at limbo.
Yeah, I know. At the beginning of the summer, I had such high hopes. I was going to work out a lot, watch what I ate, and enjoy some weight loss. Instead, I'm still sitting about the same place I've been for...I have no idea how long. Sad.
The first couple of weeks of the summer, I was doing pretty well. Then I let myself slack off for a variety of reasons, and I just haven't been able to get myself going again.
Part of it is my own usual slacker issues. This is certainly not a new problem. But it has been severely compounded by this state of limbo that we are in (see previous post). Since that post, where my husband had five interviews, there has been a sixth. And now, the company is flying him out to their corporate headquarters in North Dakota to spend the day interviewing face to face with...pretty much everybody, it sounds like. This is supposed to take place one week from today. So, while this certainly sounds like they are offering him the job, we have no details at all yet, and we're still in a state of limbo.
Needless to say, this makes it very difficult to convince myself to do any kind of school-related work whatsoever. But it also is making it hard for me to do anything else. Clean the house? Why, if we'll have to clean it again when we move everything? Rearrange the cabinets? Why, if we're just going to have to take everything out to pack? Go through the closets? Why, if we're just going to have to do it again when we pack up?
My husband makes a good point, that going through the stuff now might make it easier to pack it up when we need to. But it's not making it any easier to get myself going.
I was never very good at limbo.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Day 146 - 5/26/09
Wow. I'm a total slacker. But I've been really busy with end-of-the-school-year stuff and just haven't had any reason to blog.
Anyway, nothing going on in the weight loss area either. Today's weigh-in: 196.2. Meh.
But the good news is, I will be starting up my new diet and weight loss routine on Thursday, after my end-of-the-year school activities are over. I just need to figure out what that routine IS.
Anyway, nothing going on in the weight loss area either. Today's weigh-in: 196.2. Meh.
But the good news is, I will be starting up my new diet and weight loss routine on Thursday, after my end-of-the-year school activities are over. I just need to figure out what that routine IS.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Day 126 - 5/6/09
Weigh-in: ??
Did not have a chance to weigh-in this morning, because I was running late (having your beauty sleep interrupted by wailing tornado sirens does not do good things to your morning schedule). But I'm sure it was as crappy as every other weigh-in has been lately. It's been pretty depressing, really. I mean, I've been sweating working out, so I know it should have some impact on my waistline, but I simply have nothing to show for it. Meh.
Anyway, I'm not the only one who has hit a serious slump. Actress Kirstie Alley, whom I have been fond of ever since her days on Cheers and her appearance in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, had notoriously plumped up in the late 1990's and early 2000's, then lost 75 lbs as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig.
Poor Kirstie has hit a new low, er, high, er, whatever, after severing ties with the company. Here is an article from People about her fall from grace.
KIRSTIE ALLEY: "YES, I GAINED 83 POUNDS" by Elizabeth Leonard, 5/6/09
When Kirstie Alley stepped on the scale for the first time in 15 months, it wasn't pretty. "I started screaming," recalls Alley, sipping homemade fruit-infused water in her Hollywood kitchen. "It said 228 lbs., which is my highest weight ever. I was so much more disgusting than I thought!"
But looking back, Alley, 58, is hardly shocked. During her three-year stint as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman, she famously trimmed down to 145 lbs. after losing and keeping off 75 lbs. But since parting ways with the company in 2007, she had not worked out and banished her gym equipment to the garage. As for her diet, her small, low-calorie portions gave way to Chinese takeout and pasta drenched with butter. "I fell off the horse," says the 5'8" star.
Today, Alley says she is primed to hire a trainer, toss the butter and sign up for a triathlon in order to whittle her "schlumpy" figure back down to a bikini-ready 140 lbs. "I'm going to have to work harder than last time," she says, but "I'm way excited." In a candid interview, Alley sat down with PEOPLE's Elizabeth Leonard to talk about how she piled on the pounds – and how she plans to get her body, confidence and – yes! – even her groove back.
Okay, how did this happen?
It started with New Year's [2008], right after leaving Jenny Craig. When you're a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, there's responsibility. You have a person every week standing over you when you get on the scale, and I did it naked because those panties could weigh 30 lbs.! It was amazingly successful. But the first nail in the coffin was that I didn't have to weigh in. I just sort of went wild.
Did you go right back to indulging in cakes and pies the way you did the first time you let yourself go?
It wasn't the exact same M.O. My food demons are Chinese food, sugar, butter. A lot of butter. If I'm at the movies, usually I eat popcorn without butter, but I'd say, "I'm at the movies, so who cares?" And toast with butter. Or let's say I had two cups of pasta and six tablespoons of butter on it. There was a lot of butter going on.
What else would you eat?
For seven months I was a vegetarian, and I can't tell you how much weight I gained being a vegetarian! A vegetarian would probably be eating vegetables. But to me being a vegetarian meant I'm going to eat enchiladas with no meat, and I'm going to eat lots of bread, lots of carbs.
What weight do you want to get down to?
I have to be below 140 to really look good. I have to work my legs like crazy. Actually, do you want my real goal? My real goal's always too low. I love the way I look at, like, 128. One time on Cheers, I weighed about 148 lbs., and they told me to lose, like, 20 lbs. Now, I'm 5'8", so at 148 lbs., I wasn't fat. But they're saying, "You know, you need to lose 20 lbs." So what does that put me at? 128. That's where I keep getting this number.
Are you self-conscious?
I'm totally inhibited. When I'm overweight I will not go out. With my closest friends, yeah. But you wouldn't see me at a premiere.
But you seem ready to turn your life around.
I'm ready to work. I messed up along the way, but I'm not going to concentrate on that. I'm gonna go, "You know what? Get back on the horse, lose the freakin' weight, and then just move forward!"
My story isn't all that dissimilar from Kirstie's, except for the whole being a famous actress part. I too am about 5'8", and I too went from about 150 lbs (my high school graduation weight) to a low of 125 lbs (when I had an eating disorder) and all the way up to over 220 lbs (when I realized I looked HORRIBLE and had to do something to change it). I also have an addiction to the kinds of food that pretty much make it impossible to lose weight: Chinese food, carbs, butter, starches, sugar, all the good stuff.
So, if Kirstie can try to lose the weight again, why can't I? What does she have that I don't have? (Besides the money to pay a personal trainer and a personal nutritionist and a personal chef, that is.) *sigh* Me and Kirstie, starting over.
Did not have a chance to weigh-in this morning, because I was running late (having your beauty sleep interrupted by wailing tornado sirens does not do good things to your morning schedule). But I'm sure it was as crappy as every other weigh-in has been lately. It's been pretty depressing, really. I mean, I've been sweating working out, so I know it should have some impact on my waistline, but I simply have nothing to show for it. Meh.
Anyway, I'm not the only one who has hit a serious slump. Actress Kirstie Alley, whom I have been fond of ever since her days on Cheers and her appearance in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, had notoriously plumped up in the late 1990's and early 2000's, then lost 75 lbs as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig.
Poor Kirstie has hit a new low, er, high, er, whatever, after severing ties with the company. Here is an article from People about her fall from grace.
KIRSTIE ALLEY: "YES, I GAINED 83 POUNDS" by Elizabeth Leonard, 5/6/09
When Kirstie Alley stepped on the scale for the first time in 15 months, it wasn't pretty. "I started screaming," recalls Alley, sipping homemade fruit-infused water in her Hollywood kitchen. "It said 228 lbs., which is my highest weight ever. I was so much more disgusting than I thought!"
But looking back, Alley, 58, is hardly shocked. During her three-year stint as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman, she famously trimmed down to 145 lbs. after losing and keeping off 75 lbs. But since parting ways with the company in 2007, she had not worked out and banished her gym equipment to the garage. As for her diet, her small, low-calorie portions gave way to Chinese takeout and pasta drenched with butter. "I fell off the horse," says the 5'8" star.
Today, Alley says she is primed to hire a trainer, toss the butter and sign up for a triathlon in order to whittle her "schlumpy" figure back down to a bikini-ready 140 lbs. "I'm going to have to work harder than last time," she says, but "I'm way excited." In a candid interview, Alley sat down with PEOPLE's Elizabeth Leonard to talk about how she piled on the pounds – and how she plans to get her body, confidence and – yes! – even her groove back.
Okay, how did this happen?
It started with New Year's [2008], right after leaving Jenny Craig. When you're a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, there's responsibility. You have a person every week standing over you when you get on the scale, and I did it naked because those panties could weigh 30 lbs.! It was amazingly successful. But the first nail in the coffin was that I didn't have to weigh in. I just sort of went wild.
Did you go right back to indulging in cakes and pies the way you did the first time you let yourself go?
It wasn't the exact same M.O. My food demons are Chinese food, sugar, butter. A lot of butter. If I'm at the movies, usually I eat popcorn without butter, but I'd say, "I'm at the movies, so who cares?" And toast with butter. Or let's say I had two cups of pasta and six tablespoons of butter on it. There was a lot of butter going on.
What else would you eat?
For seven months I was a vegetarian, and I can't tell you how much weight I gained being a vegetarian! A vegetarian would probably be eating vegetables. But to me being a vegetarian meant I'm going to eat enchiladas with no meat, and I'm going to eat lots of bread, lots of carbs.
What weight do you want to get down to?
I have to be below 140 to really look good. I have to work my legs like crazy. Actually, do you want my real goal? My real goal's always too low. I love the way I look at, like, 128. One time on Cheers, I weighed about 148 lbs., and they told me to lose, like, 20 lbs. Now, I'm 5'8", so at 148 lbs., I wasn't fat. But they're saying, "You know, you need to lose 20 lbs." So what does that put me at? 128. That's where I keep getting this number.
Are you self-conscious?
I'm totally inhibited. When I'm overweight I will not go out. With my closest friends, yeah. But you wouldn't see me at a premiere.
But you seem ready to turn your life around.
I'm ready to work. I messed up along the way, but I'm not going to concentrate on that. I'm gonna go, "You know what? Get back on the horse, lose the freakin' weight, and then just move forward!"
My story isn't all that dissimilar from Kirstie's, except for the whole being a famous actress part. I too am about 5'8", and I too went from about 150 lbs (my high school graduation weight) to a low of 125 lbs (when I had an eating disorder) and all the way up to over 220 lbs (when I realized I looked HORRIBLE and had to do something to change it). I also have an addiction to the kinds of food that pretty much make it impossible to lose weight: Chinese food, carbs, butter, starches, sugar, all the good stuff.
So, if Kirstie can try to lose the weight again, why can't I? What does she have that I don't have? (Besides the money to pay a personal trainer and a personal nutritionist and a personal chef, that is.) *sigh* Me and Kirstie, starting over.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Day 125 - 5/5/09
Weigh-in: 196.6
Crap.
Some big disappointments lately. Obviously one would be my weight. Despite my working out four times each week, I haven't lost a lick. It's very frustrating. Clearly I need to rethink my diet. That HAS to be a significant part of the problem.
The other disappointment is my blood pressure. I have been taking a fairly low dosage of Lisinopril for several years, but I know that blood pressure medication is something they prefer a pregnant woman not take due to its possible effects on the fetus. So I was curious the other day to see what my unmedicated pressure might be. I hadn't taken my medication for several days, so I took my bp. 146/98. The first number is definitely high, but that could be attributed to my being overweight and having eaten Chinese food the night before. But the second number, which is the one that tends to be more heredity than anything else, was WAY too high. Very unfortunate. I was hoping I had made more progress than this.
So I still have lots of work to do, and I have made pretty much ZERO progress. And now I have less than three weeks until school gets out. Guess I need to revamp my goals, AGAIN. *sigh*
Crap.
Some big disappointments lately. Obviously one would be my weight. Despite my working out four times each week, I haven't lost a lick. It's very frustrating. Clearly I need to rethink my diet. That HAS to be a significant part of the problem.
The other disappointment is my blood pressure. I have been taking a fairly low dosage of Lisinopril for several years, but I know that blood pressure medication is something they prefer a pregnant woman not take due to its possible effects on the fetus. So I was curious the other day to see what my unmedicated pressure might be. I hadn't taken my medication for several days, so I took my bp. 146/98. The first number is definitely high, but that could be attributed to my being overweight and having eaten Chinese food the night before. But the second number, which is the one that tends to be more heredity than anything else, was WAY too high. Very unfortunate. I was hoping I had made more progress than this.
So I still have lots of work to do, and I have made pretty much ZERO progress. And now I have less than three weeks until school gets out. Guess I need to revamp my goals, AGAIN. *sigh*
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day 75 - 3/16/09
Ok, first, to apologize for that last post. I was trying to post in the car from my iPhone. Unfortunately, the phone would let me enter text in the "title" and "labels" boxes, but not in the actual box for the post itself. But somehow, since the post was labeled "failure", it seems just as appropriate to leave the post itself blank. Sort of sums it all up, really.
First order of business:
Today's weigh-in: 196.6
That's actually not bad. We had a lot of food on our trip this past weekend, good food like pasta, hamburgers, steak, that sort of thing. And I ended up kayaking only one day of the four that we were there, which means my activity level was not what it should have been. It could have been a weekend where I gained quite a bit, so I'm at least pleased that I actually had a small loss.
But small it truly is. I had hoped to have enough of a weight loss by now to start considering the idea of pregnancy, but since I've essentially made no progress at all that isn't yet an option. Also, we are holding off for at least a few more months to make a little more financial progress in the paying off of credit cards and other obligations. Hopefully we can start tucking some aside to save up for a time when we'll have to survive off one income.
So, it's kind of a moment to start over for me. I have ten weeks now until my summer break from school, and I hope to have made some weight loss progress by then. Cross your fingers.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Day 47 - 2/16/09
Weigh-in: 197.4
Well, this whole thing has been a total failure so far. I have been unable to motivate myself to work out. With only three weeks left before my Spring Break and the two trips I'll be taking then, it is unlikely that I will be able to lose significant weight by then. But I can't give up. If I don't do this, I'll never get to the point, health-wise, that I can have kids. So I have to figure out a way to do this.
I took some measurements today in the hope that I can give myself more motivation and more ways to gauge my progress.
Upper arm--15 inches
Bust--46 inches
Chest--38 inches
Waist--39 inches
Belly--43 inches
Hips--48 inches
Upper thigh--27 inches
Calf--17 inches
I at least made a surprising amount of progress this past weekend, somehow. I didn't think I ate particularly well--lots of pasta and bread--and I didn't get a whole lot of exercise other than walking a few blocks too and from my car. But somehow I ended up two pounds lighter than when I left. Not sure how that happened. If I can duplicate that every four days, like this past weekend, I can still lose 12 lbs by the time I go kayaking.
Let's see if I can get off my fat ass.
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