Week 7, the unfairness of it all

First of all, who gave my OB permission to have a kid of her own?

Turns out, my OB, whom I dearly loved, has had a baby of her own (she got married partway through my pregnancy), and is on maternity leave until January. This is an inconvenience for me. I can't believe she didn't check with me on the off-chance that I might be unexpectedly getting pregnant while she might be out. It means that I either have to see another OB or wait until January to be seen by mine. Since this is a second pregnancy, I don't have the list of questions that I had the first time, so I'm OK waiting if they are. I'm supposed to get a call from her nurse in the next few weeks, to get me scheduled. So I'm probably going to be somewhere between 11 and 13 weeks by the time I go in to get my first appointment. Heck, by that point last time, I think I'd had my first ultrasound.

The next peeve I have is, why does my son FINALLY start sleeping through the night at the same time I start waking up at least twice a night so I can pee? UNFAIR! It's been a year and nine months since I had a good night's sleep, and now that I finally have the opportunity for one, since Brendan has managed to go pretty much every night since right after his birthday and either sleep straight through the night or put himself back to sleep without crying, I have to pee. That was the first symptom of pregnancy I had when I was pregnant with Brendan, and it has shown up with a vengeance.

The last unfair thing is that I STILL am having digestive trouble. I just wanna go potty like normal! When, oh when, will this go away?

Week 6, Part Deux...I think...

Before I get into the interesting stuff, I first want to point out that Brendan managed to survive his first year of life! He had his first birthday about a week and a half ago. We didn't have a huge shindig; I mean, the kid won't remember his birthday for a few more years now. My husband's parents came up from Wyoming, my dad drove all the way from Nevada, and my best friend flew up from San Diego. So the party was certainly respectable. Brendan got lots of presents, more than he'll surely ever play with. But I guess that's how it is supposed to be. And he got to smash some cake, which is always a good time. It was my first attempt at decorating a birthday cake, you know, REALLY decorating it, and I think it turned out pretty well. It didn't hurt that my friend had taken some cake decorating courses. So fun was had by all, and I officially have a toddler. Heck, he doesn't even toddle; he sprints. At his 1-year checkup, he measured in at 22 lbs 9 oz, and 30.4 inches tall. He's right around the 50th/75th percentiles, so he's where he should be. He still only has seven teeth, but I think he's working on some more. Still doesn't say much in the way of recognizable words. I've gotten Mama out of him a couple of times, and he seemed to be saying "duck" the other day when I prompted him. I really hope he starts speaking a bit more soon. At least he loves books. That's always a good sign. He's a wild and wonderful kid (most of the time), and I'm glad we've all lived this long.

That said...

It appears that I may be pregnant again.

Let me start by saying that I have been taking oral contraceptives since Brendan was about 4 months old or so, and I have not missed any days. I am on a pill called Jollivette (or something like that), and I do know that it is a very low dosage of hormones (due to my blood pressure). But I haven't had any problems with it. My period has been a little irregular, but I've chalked that up to the fact that it is a 28-day cycle of pills rather than a 21-day cycle with 7 days of placebos. I've always taken the 21-day cycle pills, and my period would then fall during the week of placebos. But with the 28-day cycle, my period seems to drift a little bit, either a few days before the last week, or a few days after, or right in the middle of that last week. Still not a big deal.

So, anyway, the last period I had was somewhere in the neighborhood of the third week in September. I have no idea exactly when it was. I'm basing my calculation on that estimate of my period having been in the last week or so of that 28-day cycle. I know I did not have a period during the entirety of October. I went through an entire pack of 28 pills, and had taken 8 pills in the next pack before finally coming to my senses and taking a pregnancy test (or three). Also, I wasn't feeling very good--I've had...let's just call it "digestive trouble" for weeks now, which is very unusual for me. And all of a sudden I had a couple of days where I was overcome with nausea out of the blue, just for a few minutes. When I was pregnant with Brendan I had very little morning sickness, and this definitely reminded me of it.

So, the thought had already sort of wandered through my mind, that there might be a slight possibility that I might, just might, be pregnant. When I mentioned to my husband that I wasn't feeling good, he said, "Well, do you think you might be pregnant?" And I said, "Well, perhaps, yes." So I picked up a box of First Response pregnancy tests. I think these are the kind I used when I found out I was pregnant with Brendan, but I'm not sure. In any case, I peed on the stick, let it sit for three minutes, and checked it. And sure enough, there were two lines in the window. One was a bit fainter than the other, but the test instructions said this was possible, and it was undeniably there. (I got the same results the next evening, after a day of not taking my birth control pill, and the next morning as well.) So, according to First Response, anyway, I'm pregnant.

I am withholding total reaction until I get a blood test to verify it. I'll probably try to go to the walk-in clinic on Friday after school, to see if I can get a blood test without needing an appointment.

But if I truly am pregnant (which I suspect I am; I've started waking up in the middle of the night to pee, which was one of the first signs I had last time), I'm probably about 6 weeks along. That means, according to Baby Center, the little bugger is about the size of a lima bean. Cool.

My husband and I have talked in the past about having a second child. We had figured on shooting for a due date around the time of Brendan's second birthday, so that I could take the time off at the end of the semester. But, while I don't know if I'm really prepared for having a 20-month-old who will undoubtedly still be in diapers AND a newborn at the same time (actually, I can answer that question emphatically: NO, I AM NOT PREPARED IN THE LEAST), from a work perspective this should work out well. My due date, from my calculations, should be around June 25. School will get out June 1. That gives me just over 3 weeks of time in the summer before my due date. And that also gives me 8 weeks of summer after my due date that I won't have to work. I'm hoping I can schedule some maternity leave at the very beginning of the school year, maybe 6 weeks (I have no idea what my options are, since I am not a tenured employee). That would put the baby at 3 months old before I have to go back to work. I wish I didn't have to go back to work at all, but I know that isn't an option, due to our finances. Oh well. But that will have been good for bonding with the little bunion. I hope.

Anyway, there's no sense in getting too worked up about anything. While this is unexpected, it isn't the worst thing that could happen. I mean, I'm excited about it, but terrified as well. I have a hard enough time being patient with Brendan. I just know that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Oh well. The other challenge will be my weight. I haven't lost anything. I weighed in on Monday at 232.8. That's slightly more than ten lbs less than my heaviest pregnancy weight. I can't afford to get any heavier. My back is constantly hurting, and both my feet have plantar fasciitis. I really need to lose some weight. I think that will be something that I will talk to the OB about when I go in for my first appointment.

We haven't said anything to anyone. Of course, we need to wait until we know I'm actually pregnant, and I'd like to wait until I'm about 14 weeks along again, which would be the end of the first trimester, if I recall correctly. That means 8 weeks of waiting. At least we don't see a lot of people regularly. *So if you are reading this and you know me, please don't say anything to anyone!*

But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's possible I'm not even pregnant. Not likely, but possible...

So, it's a whole new ballgame...

You'll notice a few changes in this blog. It was originally about preparing myself, mentally and physically, for the possibility that I might at some point become a parent. A high priority was weight loss, since I am and pretty much always have been overweight. So I was documenting the weight loss (that wasn't happening) and the research I was doing into issues surrounding pregnancy and parenthood.

And then...

I got pregnant.

Yep, that's right. We made the decision back around Christmas that, since my birth control prescription was expiring, we would go ahead and not refill the prescription and just see what happened. We weren't necessarily trying to GET pregnant; we just weren't trying to prevent it. I had heard stories that, after taking birth control for extended lengths of time, it takes the body a few months, sometimes up to a year, to adjust to no birth control and get back on schedule. So we figured we had a little time.

But a little time ended up being only one period, in January. February rolled around, and nothing happened. No period, no nothing. A few occasional cramps. That was it. But again, I had read that until the body completely adjusted to being off birth control, periods would be irregular and possibly missed altogether. So I waited. I figured my period would give up and show itself eventually. And the time grew closer for my husband's cousin to come visit us, bringing some snowboarding days and a lot of activity. The day before she arrived, I couldn't take the suspense anymore. I stopped at the store and bought a box of take-at-home pregnancy tests, and took one that afternoon. Pee on the stick, wait a few minutes, and check the digital read-out. And the read-out said: YES+.

I told my husband when he got home that evening. But of course, those tests aren't always guaranteed, so I took the second test from the box a few days later, thinking the hormones might be different. This time, the read-out said: YES+, and my husband got to see it for himself. So the likelihood increased again, but we couldn't really do anything else about it. My husband's cousin was visiting, and my father-in-law was staying with us for his customary two weeks each month while he worked out at the nearby Indian reservation. I just watched what I ate, tried to be as careful as possible while snowboarding (I managed to avoid pretty much any falling at all), and waited.

Finally, today rolled around. My husband's cousin had gone home, my father-in-law left for work and wouldn't be back for a couple of weeks, and I needed to visit the doctor for a possible ear infection anyway. So while I was at the doctor's office, I told the doctor my suspicions about being pregnant. The tech drew some blood, and the doctor called me about an hour later to confirm what I had already suspected for about a month: I AM PREGNANT. Probably about 6 weeks pregnant, based on my last period and when women traditionally ovulate. That would put delivery somewhere around the end of October/beginning of November. I still need to schedule an appointment with an OB and start all that prenatal stuff, but at least now I know the truth.

And I am excited about it. While I can't really believe that I've got something growing inside me (ever see Alien?), and I know this will completely change our lives and our relationship, I really think this is going to be a great adventure. My brother is leaving (today, as a matter of fact) for Afghanistan for ten months, and my dad is leaving in a few weeks for Djibouti, Africa for about a year, and I've been feeling a little, I don't know, left behind I guess, since everyone else is having adventures but me. So now, I am going to have an adventure of my own.

An adventure that will last for the next, oh, rest of my life.

Exactly what have I gotten myself into?